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Top 4 Tips for Buying the Right Car Seat in 2025 — UAE Parents’ Guide

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 08:43:10 GMT

Choosing a car seat is one of the most important decisions you’ll make as a parent. It’s not just about convenience — it’s about giving your child the best protection on every journey .

In the UAE, where we drive long distances, face busy roads, and deal with extreme heat, the right car seat matters more than ever. But with so many options, how do you know which one to choose?

Here are our top 4 tips to make car seat shopping easier — and safer.

1. PRIORITIZE SEATS THAT UNDERGO THE TOUGHEST CRASH TESTING

Not all car seats are created equal. Many parents think if a seat is “legal,” it must be safe — but that’s not always true.

ECE R44 : The most basic standard, now phased out in Europe.
ECE R129 (i-Size) : Stricter testing with better head, neck, and side-impact protection.
The Swedish Plus Test : The toughest crash test in the world — and the gold standard.

What makes the Swedish Plus Test so important?

It’s the only test that measures neck forces on a child’s body in a crash.
Seats that pass prove they can keep neck loads below dangerous limits — a key factor in preventing serious injury.
Many car seats fail completely under this extreme test, which shows just how high the bar is.

�� If a car seat has passed the Swedish Plus Test , you can be confident it offers the highest level of safety for your child.

�� Remember: Legal does not always mean safe . Go beyond the minimum.

2. CONSIDER YOUR CHILD'S HEIGHT, WEIGHT, AND AGE — EVEN THE SMALLEST ONES

Every child grows differently, and size matters when it comes to safety.

Preemies and smaller babies : Standard carriers often don’t provide the right fit. They need extra support for the head, neck, and body, plus proper harness positioning.
Twins or multiples : Planning seating for two (or more) at once requires careful choice so every child gets the safest setup.

As children grow, their height and weight percentiles determine how long a seat will last. We recommend car seats with at least a 25kg weight limit and 125cm height limit , which allow for extended rear-facing travel .

Why rear-facing ? Research shows it is up to 5 times safer than forward-facing for children up to 6–7 years old.

Better crash force distribution across the strongest part of the body.
Superior head and neck protection , preventing the whip-forward motion that can cause spinal injury.
Cocoon-like shell protection against front and side impacts.

�� Bonus for UAE parents: The BeSafe Go Beyond with Preemie Inlay was designed with neonatal nurses to support even the tiniest babies. It features a removable wedge for better harness fit and breathable mesh fabric — keeping your baby safe and cool in our hot weather.

3. MATCH THE CAR SEAT TO YOUR CAR AND LIFESTYLE

Your car seat needs to fit not just your car — but your daily routine .

Multiple cars? Choose a seat that’s easy to install/uninstall.
Growing family? Invest in a seat with a long lifespan that can be passed down.
Seat placement? Consider if it will go behind the passenger, in the middle, or side by side with another child seat.
Bigger families? Narrow but safe seats can fit 3-across or work well in 7-seaters, without compromising protection.

Example from our family setup:

Mummy’s car : BeSafe Flex Fix 2 for Sofia (8y) + BeSafe Stretch for Leo (5y).
Daddy’s car: Axkid One3 for Leo + BeSafe Flex Fix 2 for Sofia. The Axkid One3 was chosen because Daddy often removes the seat, and installation takes under 30 seconds .

�� Key takeaway: The “best seat” isn’t the one your friend uses — it’s the one that fits your child, your car, and your lifestyle .

4. DON'T COMPROMISE — BUY FROM A CHILD CAR SEAT SPECIALIST

Buying from a specialized retailer ensures peace of mind:

They recommend a seat that fits your child, car, and routine .
They install it correctly and show you how.
If the seat doesn’t fit, they won’t install it — and they’ll help you find one that does.
They’ll reinstall it whenever you need , for example when changing cars, at no extra cost.

At Safety On Board , we offer 1-1 car seat consultation and hands-on support to make sure your child rides safely every time.

FINAL THOUGHTS

A car seat isn’t just another baby item — it’s life-saving equipment. Whether you’re bringing home a preemie, juggling twins, or moving a big kid into a booster, the right seat + the right suppor t makes all the difference.

If you’re unsure where to start, contact us and book a consultation with us. We’ll help you find the perfect fit for your child, your car, and your family.

Because every child in the UAE deserves the safest ride ��

Sophie Huang is the founder of Safety on Board , the UAE’s first child car seat specialist. She is also a mom of 2 and an internationally certified car seat expert . With a passion for keeping children as safe as possbile on UAE road, she guides parents in choosing and installing the safest car seats. Sophie believes safety can be simple, stress-free, and empowering for every parent.

Prepare for Sleep During Your Beach Trip (with a Baby)

Tue, 10 Jun 2025 07:14:59 GMT

There’s something magical about a beach holiday — the sound of waves, salty air, and the promise of slow days in the sun. But let’s be honest: traveling to the beach with a baby isn’t exactly a vacation unless sleep is part of the equation.

Whether you're heading to a resort, renting a seaside villa, or visiting family by the coast, here’s how to set your baby up for restful sleep — so everyone gets to enjoy that ocean breeze.

Step 1: Know That Sleep Needs Don’t Take a Holiday

Babies are creatures of habit. Their little bodies thrive on rhythm and predictability — even on vacation. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun or go with the flow! It just means that your baby’s sleep needs are still there, and the better prepared you are, the easier it will be to keep things (mostly) on track.

Step 2: Your Beach Baby Sleep Packing List

Here’s your ultimate baby sleep packing list for a beach trip, broken down by category:

Sleep Environment Essentials :

Portable travel crib or bassinet – Choose one your baby is already familiar with if possible.
Fitted sheets – Bring 2-3 just in case of sand, spills or spit-up. Also bring a gently used one to remind baby of home as he/she adjusts to the new sleep environment.
Portable blackout blinds – Beach homes and rentals often have light, sheer curtains.
White noise machine or app – Helps block out unfamiliar sounds like waves (yes, they can be loud!) or street noise.
Baby monitor (if you’ll be in a larger space or stepping outside during naps).

For more on the ideal sleep environment, have a read here .

Comfort + Routine :

Lovey or comfort object (if age-appropriate and safe for sleep).
Sleep sack – Choose a breathable, summer-weight one.
Favorite bedtime book – Familiarity brings comfort.
Pacifiers – Always bring extras!
Nightlight – A soft, warm one if needed for feeds or changes during the night.

Weather + Climate Considerations :

Lightweight, breathable pajamas – Think cotton or bamboo
Fan – If your rental lacks good airflow or AC

Bonus Tip: Have a “Nap-on-the-Go” Kit

**For beach days that cut into nap time:

Clip-on stroller fan
Stroller or baby carrier your baby can sleep in
Portable white noise machine
Extra sun hats + baby-safe sunscreen (for after 6 months old)

Step 3: Keep the Routine (Even on the Coast)

Try to mirror your bedtime routine as closely as you can. If you usually do bath → PJs → book → feed → sleep, stick with it — even if it’s a quick version. Babies love the predictability, and it helps signal that it’s time to wind down, even in a new environment.

Also, aim for naps in a darkened room when possible, especially after a stimulating beach outing. And if one nap has to happen in the stroller under a palm tree? That’s totally okay. Just go back to the routine as soon as you can.

Getting There: Travel Day Tips

Time your departure around naps if possible
Use familiar sleep items (like the sleep sack or pacifier) during flights or drives
Offer extra feeds — travel is dehydrating, especially in hot weather
Keep expectations flexible – sleep may not be perfect, and that’s fine

Beach trips with a baby can be full of joyful memories and restful nights — as long as you plan for sleep. With the right gear and mindset, your little one can stay well-rested and content, giving you more time to soak up the sun (or at least drink your coffee while it’s still warm!).

And remember: sleep doesn’t have to fall apart just because you’re away from home. If you ever feel stuck or unsure about how to adjust things before, during, or after a trip, I’m here to help you build a personalized plan that fits your family’s travel style. Book your discovery call here .

Snug and Safe: How Baby Sleep Bags Protect Your Little One

Mon, 07 Oct 2024 08:35:12 GMT

October is SIDS Awareness Month, dedicated to raising awareness about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. It’s a time to educate parents and caregivers on safe sleep practices that can reduce the risk and help protect our little ones.. At Hushabye, safety is at the heart of our brand. Our focus is on providing parents with safe and high-quality baby sleepwear, such as sleep bags, that offer a safer alternative to traditional blankets.

What is a baby sleep bag?

A baby sleep bag, also known as a wearable blanket or sleep sack, is a specially designed garment for infants and young children to wear during sleep. The primary purpose of a sleep bag is to keep the baby warm and comfortable, but it also serves as a safe and convenient alternative to traditional blankets and quilts in a crib or cot.

Using a sleep bag offers several benefits for both infants and their parents or caregivers:

1. Safety

Baby sleep bags are designed to provide a safe sleep environment for infants. Unlike traditional blankets and loose bedding, sleep sacks cannot be kicked off, cover the baby's face, or pose a suffocation risk. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends the use of wearable blankets like baby sleep bags to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and other sleep-related accidents. As they recommend that your baby’s crib has nothing loose in it apart from a tight fitted sheet until they’re over 12 months old, a baby sleep bag has been designed to keep your baby warm when they sleep without the common risks that come with using a loose blanket. Checkout One2Sleep’s guidelines for safe sleep here .

2. Regulated Temperature

Baby sleep bags come in different thicknesses, often indicated by a TOG (Thermal Overall Grade) rating. Hushabye baby sleep bags come in a 1.0 TOG to suit the changing climate that exists in the Middle East (where Hushabye was founded), and the impact of air conditioning in controlling room temperature. Ideal for rooms of 20-24°C (69-75°F) - which tends to be the average range set in air conditioned rooms - the hope is that your child’s Hushabye sleep bag can be used all year round with minor adjustments of layering to account for the cooler winters. This helps prevent overheating, which is a risk factor for SIDS. Learn more about TOG ratings and dressing your baby for sleep here .

3. Freedom of Movement

Sleep sacks allow for some freedom of movement for the baby's legs while keeping the upper body covered. This is particularly beneficial as babies grow and start to roll over, kick, and move during sleep. Their sleep bag will keep them covered and at a consistent temperature, without the risk of them kicking their blanket off in the middle of the night or getting entangled in loose blankets. Our sleep bags have also been designed with ample room for their lower half to naturally promote the healthy development of their hip joints and allow them to have their legs in a "frog-leg" position, which is the natural posture for infants to promote proper hip alignment. View our guide on how a sleep bag should fit so you know when it might be time to move to the next size.

4. Transition from Swaddling

Sleep bags are a safe and practical way to transition a baby from swaddling to sleeping with arms free. As babies grow and become more mobile, it’s recommended to stop swaddling when they are showing signs of rolling. A sleep sack is a great option to transition to as it can provide a similar sense of security of being cocooned that a swaddle provides.

5. Reduces Parental Anxiety

Knowing that your baby is sleeping in a safe and comfortable sleep environment can reduce parental anxiety and improve sleep quality for both the baby and parents.

6. Hushabye bonus

All Hushabye Sleep Bags are made with 95% bamboo rayon. Bamboo is an extremely breathable fabric and wicks away moisture, preventing your baby from overheating. It also has insulating properties which can keep your baby warmer in colder weather by trapping heat close to the body. Learn more about the benefits of bamboo fabric here !

Overall, sleep bags are a convenient and safe sleep solution for infants, promoting better sleep quality and peace of mind for parents. When using a baby sleep bag, it's essential to select the appropriate size for your baby and choose a TOG rating that matches the room temperature. Explore Huhsabye’s sleep bag collection here , and for the whole month of October 2024, you can get free shipping when buying a sleep bag by using the code: BABYSAFE.

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Belinda Kirk is a soon to be mom of 2 living in Abu Dhabi. Her quest to find the safest and best sleep bag for her older child led to the realization that she could design and make her own, with the best quality materials and all according to safe sleep recommendations. All this led to the birth of Hushabye, bringing parents the best baby sleep bags and sleepsuits, designed with the UAE climate and air-conditioned living in mind.

The Vital Link Between Sleep and Mental Health: A Guide for Parents and Kids

Mon, 20 May 2024 07:27:38 GMT

In the hustle and bustle of modern life, sleep often takes a back seat to other priorities. Yet, the importance of sleep for mental health cannot be overstated, especially for parents and their children. From infancy through adulthood, sleep plays a crucial role in maintaining emotional stability, cognitive function, and overall well-being. Let’s delve into the intricate relationship between sleep and mental health, exploring its significance for both parents and kids.

Understanding Sleep: The Foundation of Mental Health

Sleep is not merely a passive state of rest; it's a dynamic process that facilitates vital functions for physical and mental health. During sleep, the brain consolidates memories, processes emotions, and regulates various physiological processes. For children, especially infants and toddlers, sleep is paramount for healthy growth and development. It's during sleep that their brains form crucial neural connections, essential for learning and behavior regulation.

Sleep and Parental Mental Health

For parents, particularly those with young children, sleep deprivation is often a common occurrence. The demands of caring for a newborn or attending to the needs of a growing child can disrupt sleep patterns, leading to chronic sleep deficits. This chronic sleep deprivation can take a toll on parental mental health in several ways:

Increased Stress and Anxiety : Sleep-deprived parents often experience heightened stress levels and anxiety. The constant fatigue and inability to get adequate rest can exacerbate feelings of overwhelm and tension.

Impaired Cognitive Function : Lack of sleep impairs cognitive function, making it difficult for parents to concentrate, make decisions, and problem-solve effectively. This can further contribute to feelings of inadequacy and frustration.

Mood Disorders : Chronic sleep deprivation is linked to an increased risk of mood disorders such as depression and irritability. Parents may find themselves more prone to mood swings and emotional instability, impacting their ability to nurture a positive environment for their children.

Strained Relationships : Sleep deprivation can strain relationships, leading to conflicts and communication breakdowns between partners. This can create additional stressors, further exacerbating mental health challenges.

Sleep and Child Mental Health

Just as sleep is crucial for parental well-being, it's equally essential for children's mental health and development. Adequate sleep is associated with numerous benefits for children, including:

Emotional Regulation : Sufficient sleep plays a vital role in emotional regulation, helping children manage their feelings and behaviors effectively. Children who get enough sleep are often more resilient to stress and less prone to mood disturbances.

Cognitive Development : Sleep is essential for cognitive development in children, as it supports learning, memory consolidation, and problem-solving skills. A well-rested child is better equipped to succeed academically and socially.

Behavioral Health : Sleep disturbances in children are closely linked to behavioral problems such as hyperactivity, impulsivity, and aggression. Establishing healthy sleep habits early on can significantly reduce the risk of such issues.

Reduced Risk of Mental Health Disorders : Research suggests that inadequate sleep during childhood is associated with an increased risk of mental health disorders later in life, including anxiety, depression, and ADHD.

Strategies for Promoting Healthy Sleep

Given the critical role of sleep in mental health for both parents and children, it's essential to prioritize sleep hygiene and establish healthy sleep habits. Here are some strategies to promote better sleep:

Consistent Bedtime Routine: Establish a consistent bedtime routine for both parents and children. A calming bedtime routine signals to the body that it's time to wind down and prepare for sleep.
Create a Sleep-Conducive Environment: Ensure that the bedroom environment is conducive to sleep . This includes keeping the room dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature.
Limit Screen Time: Minimize screen time, especially before bedtime, as exposure to screens can interfere with melatonin production and disrupt sleep patterns.
Encourage Physical Activity: Regular physical activity during the day can promote better sleep at night. Encourage children to engage in active play and ensure that parents incorporate exercise into their daily routine as well.
Healthy Sleep Associations: Help children develop healthy sleep associations by associating bedtime with soothing activities such as reading or gentle music.
Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Teach children and parents relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or guided imagery to promote relaxation and stress relief before bedtime.
Seek Professional Help When Needed: If sleep problems persist despite implementing these strategies, seek guidance from a healthcare professional or sleep specialist. You can always schedule a discovery call with me to discuss whether working with me will help your little one get a better night sleep.

For parents and children alike, prioritizing sleep is essential for maintaining emotional well-being, cognitive function, and overall health. By recognizing the importance of sleep and implementing strategies to promote healthy sleep habits, parents can nurture a positive sleep environment for themselves and their children, laying the foundation for a lifetime of mental wellness.

The Sleep Journey: Nurturing Well-Rested Children from Birth to Teenage Years

Wed, 24 Apr 2024 08:05:42 GMT

Sleep is the cornerstone of our well-being, especially for children whose growing bodies and minds depend on it for optimal development. As parents, we often hear about the significance of sleep, yet understanding the specific needs of our children at different stages of their lives can be the key to ensuring they thrive. In this comprehensive guide, we'll delve into the importance of sleep for children and explore the recommended amount of sleep they need from birth into their teenage years.

Birth to 12 Months:

During the first year of life, sleep is not just vital; it's foundational. Infants spend a significant portion of their time sleeping, with newborns needing around 14-17 hours of sleep per day. As they grow, the total sleep hours gradually decrease, but the importance remains unchanged. Sleep is crucial for their physical growth, cognitive development, and emotional well-being. Establishing healthy sleep habits early on can lay the groundwork for a lifetime of restful sleep.

1 to 3 Years Old:

Toddlers are bundles of energy, constantly exploring the world around them. Despite their boundless enthusiasm, they still require ample sleep to support their rapid development. Children aged 1 to 3 years typically need about 12-14 hours of sleep per day, including naps. Consistent bedtime routines and a conducive sleep environment can help toddlers settle into a restful night's sleep, setting the stage for their busy days ahead.

4 to 6 Years Old:

As children transition into preschoolers and embark on new adventures, their sleep needs evolve yet again. Preschool-aged children typically require 10-12 hours of sleep per night. Quality sleep at this stage is essential for consolidating learning, enhancing memory, and regulating emotions. Encouraging a consistent sleep schedule and minimizing screen time before bedtime can promote healthier sleep habits in young children.

7 to 12 Years Old:

As children enter the school-age years, the demands of academics, extracurricular activities, and social interactions can sometimes encroach on their sleep. However, prioritizing sleep remains crucial for their overall well-being. School-aged children generally need 9-11 hours of sleep each night. Adequate sleep supports cognitive function, academic performance, and physical health. By fostering a sleep-friendly environment and promoting a regular bedtime routine, parents can help their children meet their sleep needs even amidst busy schedules.

Teenage Years:

The teenage years mark a period of significant change, both physically and emotionally. Amidst academic pressures, social activities, and technological distractions, teenagers often find themselves grappling with sleep deprivation. Yet, prioritizing sleep during adolescence is more critical than ever. Teenagers typically require 8-10 hours of sleep per night, yet many fall short of this recommendation. Sleep plays a vital role in adolescent development, impacting mood regulation, cognitive function, and physical health. Establishing healthy sleep habits, such as limiting caffeine intake and creating a sleep-conducive environment, can empower teenagers to prioritize rest and reap the benefits of adequate sleep.

Sleep is not a luxury; it's a necessity, especially for children whose growing bodies and minds depend on it for optimal development. From birth through the teenage years, the importance of sleep remains constant, evolving alongside the child's changing needs. By understanding the recommended amount of sleep for each stage of childhood and implementing strategies to support healthy sleep habits, parents can empower their children to thrive and reach their full potential.

If you find that your children are falling short of the recommended hours of sleep or struggling with sleep-related challenges, don't hesitate to take action. A personalized approach to addressing sleep issues can make a world of difference for your family. I invite you to book a discovery call with me at One2Sleep Consulting. Together, we can explore your family's unique sleep needs and develop a tailored plan to promote restful sleep and overall well-being for your children. Let's embark on this journey toward better sleep together. Your family's good night's sleep starts here.

Night mare or night terror?

Tue, 06 Jun 2023 06:44:45 GMT

You are sitting peacefully watching a movie when you hear your little one scream. It’s the middle of the night and you are convinced they are having a nightmare. But when you go check, your baby is unconsolable. It is as if they are not recognizing your presence. So was it a night mare or something else? In most cases, when sleep is disturbed, our babes are most likely having a nightmare. But sometimes, it turns out to be a night terror instead. So what’s the difference between the two and how can we help our little ones get through each one.

What is a nightmare?

A nightmare is a bad dream that can cause the person experiencing it fright or distress. Children generally start having nightmares between the ages of 2 and 3 years but some start as early as 2 years old. Nightmares generally happen in the REM stages of sleep or in other words in the later part of the night. A child having a nightmare can wake up and remember the content of the dream and even feel distressed as a result.

What triggers a nightmare?

Nightmares can be triggered by a number of things. It can be something that they are worried about, something they heard a story about or even something they watched on TV. That is why I always ask parents to do a quick audit of who their little one is spending time with and what they are watching. Something that an older cousin or sibling said in passing can really stay with the little ones.

How can I help my child after a nightmare?

Immediately after the episode (or in the middle of the night) soothe and comfort your baby and help them go back to sleep — however that may look like for your family. Once the initial shock/fear has passed, spend time the next day talking to your little one about the dream. Was it scary? how did it make them feel? Make sure you validate those feelings as they are very real to them but also put them in context: dreams are works of our imaginary and we can retell the narrative differently. Is there a way to turn the monster into something funny? Can the bad story in the dream have a happy ending? Help them focus on their ability to imagine good things instead of dwelling on the scary aspect of the dream.

What is a night terror?

Similar to a nightmare, a Night terror is a parasomnia that can disturb our kiddo’s sleep. This one happens in the deep NREM portion of sleep which means earlier in the night. A child experiencing a night terror may sleep walk or scream but may not recognize your efforts to soothe them or calm them down. The next day, your little one will have absolutely no recollection of the episode.

What triggers night terrors?

Night terrors can be hereditary so if someone in your family has experience with them, it might explain why your little one is having them. But night terrors can also be caused by overtiredness so offering more sleep can help reduce their frequency.

How can I help my child through or after a night terror?

In these cases, it is best to accompany your baby in their terror and keep them safe, without waking them. The episode will ride out and they will be out of it in a few minutes. Chatting about it the next day is probably not going to help as this is not something that they will be able to recall.

Has your child experienced night terrors? I would love to hear more.

Help! My child is a serial cat napper

Wed, 10 May 2023 07:32:10 GMT

Every day, you can’t wait till your child naps because your to-do list keeps growing. Should you shower, eat, sleep, wash the dishes, finish that episode or make those calls while your baby sleeps? You contemplate these options while you know full well that your baby’s nap will barely be 30 mins long. But every day, you still hope that today is the day that nap will be longer so you can get some stuff done. Does that scenario sound familiar?

Short naps or, as they are often referred to, catnaps are a common phenomenon in the world of motherhood. A newborn may often take a short nap because developmentally, they are still unable to extend or consolidate their naps. Unless of course they are sleeping in mommy’s arm, then that nap can last forever… and so will your immobility while they sleep because god forbid we wake them from that sweet slumber.

Good news coming your way though, you CAN help your baby take longer naps. and when i say baby, i mean 5+ months old… How, you ask? By doing the following!

Darken the room

The release of melatonin is not as abundant during the day as it is at night because daytime environment is not as conducive to sleep as that of nighttime Make their room dark as a cave to help them release melatonin which will help them drift off to sleep.

Timing is everything

Simply timing the nap right can make all the difference in how long that nap will be. We want them to have built enough sleep pressure to be sleepy. But not too much that they are overtired. An overtired baby will have a hard time staying asleep due to an imbalance in their sleep-related horomones. but an undertired baby may be sleepy enough to fall asleep but may not have enough sleep drive to stay asleep for long. so pay attention to timing. How does that work: For babes on 2 naps, make sure their naps fall around 9 and 1… these tend to be biologically drowsy periods for baby. For younger babes, follow age appropriate wake windows and sleep cues.

The pre-nap routine

Help baby wind down and transition to sleep mode by doing a short 10 minute pre nap routine. You can change diapers and put on jammies switch off light and turn on white noise. this will help them anticipate that sleep is coming and be ready for it

Predictability

Babies need to be able to connect sleep cycles in order to sleep longer. So if baby fell asleep in your arms, they will need to call out to you to use your arms to fall back to sleep for another cycle. Help your baby reduce the time they spend awake between cycles by putting them in their crib awake. The more they know how to fall asleep in the crib independently, the more they will know what to do as they move from one sleep cycle to the next.

Crib rule

Let baby know that they CAN go back to sleep by implementing the crib rule. Basically the idea is to designate a certain amount of time that constitute a nap. for example, “every day we nap from 9-10 am so baby will stay in nap mode, ie in the crib in a dark quiet and cool room, until nap time is over.” This can teach baby that just because they experience a slight arousal doesn’t mean that nap time is over. and that as long as they are in their room and in their crib, they can go back to sleep. This one takes a little bit of practice but as baby grows older, they learn to remain sleeping until they have had their fill of sleep.

My 1-1 sleep packages all follow these steps to help extend naps so if you want assistance doing so, schedule a free discovery call today.

Nap Transition Series: 1 to 0 Naps

Mon, 23 Jan 2023 07:15:00 GMT

The only constant about baby sleep is that there is no constant. Am I right? Just when you feel like you have a rhythm, you figured out what your baby needs and you can rely on somewhat of a schedule, BAM! things change. In comes a nap transition and with it comes changing schedules, an adjustment period, some over tiredness and maybe even some early morning wakes. This blog post is one of four in a series of posts delving into the world of nap transitions. To read more about the 2-1 transition, you can click here .

Naps – you either love them or hate them. For some parents, their child’s nap is a time for them to get things done, like cleaning, working, or catching some sleep for themselves! For others, nap time is an inconvenience…it requires you to stop what you’re doing, head home, and ensure your child gets their needed sleep.

I definitely was not in the category that viewed naps as an inconvenience. In fact, when my son dropped his naps, I cried. Real tears.

But I understand that for some families, the 1-0 nap transition is an exciting time, as you no longer have to stop in the middle of the day to get your little one down for a nap. And I also understand that, for other families, they don’t have a say when their child transitions away from naps, as their daycare may mandate naps end by a certain age.

Regardless of your stance, the 1-0 nap transition is one that I would caution anyone to rush toward. Children still need sleep in the day, and dropping naps too soon could wreak havoc on overnight sleep, their behavior, or their ability to focus.

But when your child is showing you signs that they’re ready, here are some tips to help make this transition an easy one.

The Signs

If you think your child is ready to drop all of their naps, I first encourage you to wait. It’s not uncommon for toddlers to protest naps – I mean, who wants to stop playing in the middle of the day to sleep?! (Besides parents, sometimes, of course.)

Nap protests aren’t always a sign that your child is ready to drop all of their naps permanently, and doing so could backfire.

So before diving in head first and saying goodbye to naptime, really tune in to your child and their sleep habits to determine if they’re ready.

While all children will be ready to drop their naps at their own time, here are a few signs your child may be ready:

Your baby is in the vicinity of 3 years of age. I encourage parents to hold on to the nap as long as possible – even after 3 years old! – but I have seen some children ready to drop their nap at 2.5 years of age.
The nap is interfering with bedtime. Maybe your child wakes from their nap later in the day, which pushes bedtime later into the evening. Or maybe your child simply isn’t tired when bedtime rolls around, and they take hours to fall asleep.
In some cases, like with my son, you may notice long periods of wakefulness in the middle of the night. Your child may not be crying or fussing, just content in their crib, but awake for hours.
Your child resists their naptime. This isn’t always a reliable sign, though, as it’s not uncommon for toddlers to want to play and stay awake. You’ll want to look at how their nap is interfering with their bedtime and behavior, and take it from there.

When you have identified that your child is in fact ready to drop all naps and they’re not just in a little strike or regression, then it’s time to make changes to their schedule.

The Transition

The transition from 1 to 0 naps isn’t one that needs to be rushed. In fact, it could take weeks and weeks to nail this transition.

For some kiddos, staying awake all day is a hard task. And even if they don’t need the nap, they may end up falling asleep at 5 p.m. because they’re exhausted by that time.

Or, you’ll find your little one sleeping on the couch after falling asleep at 4 p.m. while watching TV.

So instead of dropping the nap cold turkey, I would suggest to first shorten the nap by 15 minutes every few days. Then evaluate: How does that impact bedtime? Does it get better? If so, great! That may be all that your child needs right now.

If cutting the nap by 15 minutes doesn’t improve bedtime, we’ll cut it by another 15 minutes in a few days. And then we’ll evaluate again.

By the time you reach a 45-minute nap, you can start to look at other solutions.

Maybe today your child naps, but tomorrow they don’t. On the days they don’t nap, you can bring bedtime up earlier to make sure your child is able to survive the day with no daytime sleep. This method worked for my son when he was having long wakes each night.

A word of caution: When you make the nap optional, it can make it more difficult to navigate the days when nap isn’t optional. Having a plan of action and communicating with your child what the expectations are can help.

Secrets of the No-Nap Schedule

When you finally bid farewell to your child’s naps, I recommend still creating an hour of quiet time in the day. Having a period of down time can help your child make it through the day and it also helps prevent overstimulation.

For quiet time, you want to offer activities that aren’t too taxing. I like to make a box that’s reserved only for quiet time – you can place books, puzzles, or other quiet activities inside that your little one does only during that time period each day.

Some kiddos will fall asleep during quiet time, and that’s okay. Let them take a short nap, then wake them up and go on with the rest of the day.

For more tips on implementing quiet time successfully, check out this blog !

If the thought of making this transition alone is overwhelming, I invite you to schedule a 20-minute Discovery Call with me. During our call, we can chat about your child’s current sleep situation, what’s causing the overwhelm, and how I can support you through the process.

Making changes in your child’s routine and sleep habits is never easy.

But together, we can ensure everyone in your house is getting the sleep they need to be the most confident, well-rested version of themselves possible.

I can’t wait to chat more with you!

Surviving the 4-Month Sleep Regression

Tue, 10 Jan 2023 07:01:15 GMT

It's a well-known fact that babies go through many sleep regressions throughout their first few years of life…and the 4-month sleep regression often takes parents by storm. For a lot of parents, this sleep regression catches them off guard, and they’re left wondering what happened to their once sweet sleeper.

Regardless of whether you were prepared for the 4-month sleep regression or not, all babies will go through this. And how it impacts their sleep depends entirely on each baby.

When I had my second son, the 4-month sleep regression hit us hard. He went from sleeping long stretches at a time to having trouble simply falling asleep. What once worked for us to get him to sleep well no longer did, and it was a difficult experience.

If your child is already a good sleeper, a regression can be just as hard as it is for those who don’t have good sleepers – sleep regressions don’t discriminate! But the main question I receive from many parents (when they’re up multiple times throughout the night) is, “How do we survive this?!”

What’s going on during the 4-month sleep regression?

When babies are born, their circadian rhythms are immature – instead of their sleep cycles being governed by the natural link to the 24-hour clock, a baby’s sleep is split up into sleep and awake periods.

Additionally, their sleep cycles look different than an adult’s. As a newborn, sleep cycles are split in half – deep sleep and active sleep. When those sleep cycles mature around the 16-week mark, they begin to look more like our sleep cycles with various REM and NREM stages which will mean that they will spend more time in light sleep.

So instead of moving from deep sleep to active sleep , babies will cycle through more stages, and often will wake during one of those transitions.

What can make this sleep regression more challenging is that many babies will wake more overnight, and in an attempt to do whatever it takes to get their babies back to sleep, parents will resort to whatever works – rocking their baby to sleep, feeding them to sleep, or constantly replacing their pacifier.

And if these things happen without much disturbance to the child’s or parent’s sleep, that’s perfectly fine. But in many cases, habits form and children become used to getting fed multiple times throughout the night or having mom or dad rock them back to sleep.

Soon enough, parents will find that their baby now wants to be rocked, fed, or what have you, at the onset of sleep as well.

And when the 4-month regression passes, those habits stay, resulting in more night wakes or assistance needed to fall asleep.

So what’s an exhausted parent to do?

Understand what’s happening developmentally.

The most important thing to remember is that this is a natural part of your child’s development – it’s normal and temporary. Your child is growing and their brains and bodies are developing!

When you understand this fact, it can help you get through the exhaustion that comes along with the regression.

Also, instead of focusing on band aid solutions or products that promise to solve all of your child’s sleep struggles, try this:

Continue to follow safe sleep recommendations. Now isn’t the time to add items to your child’s crib in the hopes that they’ll sleep better. In fact, doing so could pose a safety hazard.
Transition to a sleep sack! Around this age, we want to move away from the swaddle, and transitioning to a sleep sack can help ensure they stay warm while sleeping and serve as a great sleep association.
Whenever you’re working on improving your child’s sleep, focus on the root issue and make a plan to help them. If you need help with this, schedule a call with me – that’s what I’m here for!

Since circadian rhythms are strongly affected by the natural 24-hour clock, if you have not done so already, it is time to start following a schedule that respects that relationship. This means that you can wake your baby up in the morning between 6-7 a.m., ensure they nap according to appropriate wake windows, and offer an early bedtime. It’s also a great time to create a consistent and conducive sleep space for your little one.

Be mindful of how much your child is eating.

If your child is suddenly waking more throughout the night and feeding, it’s important to take a look at how much they’re eating throughout the day and how well they’re feeding. Since your baby is becoming more aware around this age, it’s not uncommon for babies to become more distracted…especially when they’re eating!

Consult with your pediatrician if you have any questions about how much your child should be eating each day. If you feel that your child isn’t getting full feeds during the day, the answer might not be to feed more at night. Instead, look for ways to ensure your baby isn’t just snacking when they nurse or bottle feed.

If your baby is falling asleep while feeding, for instance, you can try to tickle their toes, undress them, or stroke their face. If they’re simply a distracted eater, you can try feeding them in a quiet space where there’s less noise and activity.

Start gently and slowly encouraging independent sleep.

You don't have to change your baby's sleep routine right away, but you can begin gently and slowly encouraging independent sleep. If you've been putting your baby down for naps and nighttime sleep the same way every day, try to put them down in their crib while awake – even just once a day!

It might not work the first (or second or third) time you do it, but slowly, they’ll get used to falling asleep while they’re in their crib, and it will help them become more comfortable and confident drifting off to sleep in this way.

By changing these small things – eliminating rocking or feeding to sleep – you'll help make sure that no matter how many times your bundle of joy wakes up during the turbulent months ahead, eventually they will learn that they can put themselves back to sleep throughout the night.

If your baby has hit a rough patch in terms of sleeping, don't worry! This stage will pass and your little one will settle into a routine again soon enough. In the meantime, remember that the 4-month sleep regression is temporary and you will get through it.

If you feel like the 4-month sleep regression put a hiccup in your child’s sleep and they never recovered, let’s make a plan of action together! Reach out to me today to help your child get back on track!

The What, When, and How of Toddler Clocks

Mon, 26 Dec 2022 08:00:00 GMT

There are many products on the market that claim they will help solve your child’s sleepless habits. Honestly, many of those products don’t get to the root of the issue and only serve as a temporary fix.

Really, when it comes to solving your child’s sleep struggles, it comes down to finding the right approach for your family and staying consistent with your expectations.

Through the years, I’ve come across many products that claim to help with sleep, and I’m happy to share one today that actually can help while reminding your toddler of your expectations.

It’s an extremely underrated tool that many families might not know about: a toddler clock.

Maybe you have heard about this device, but you don’t understand what the benefits are.

Or maybe you have one, but you’re not using it to its full potential.

In any case, this blog is for you. We’ll be going through the what, when, and how of using a toddler clock so that you can help your little one get the sleep they need.

What are toddler clocks?

Toddler clocks are similar to alarm clocks, but instead of ringing, they simply change colors (or have open/closed eyes) to indicate time. For many young children, telling time is not yet a mastered skill, even with a digital clock. So telling your toddler to stay in bed until 7 a.m. can have very little meaning to them.

Further, because it’s normal for children to wake throughout the night, if they don’t know what time it is, they may fully wake up or go into their parents’ room, thinking it’s time to get up for the day.

However, when a clock changes colors, or a character on the clock has open or closed eyes, your child can understand the concept of waking up or staying in bed.

When I’ve worked with families, I’ve seen toddler clocks fix issues like early morning wakes and also helping children feel more comfortable staying in their bed until it was time to wake up, so this device can be a great tool to introduce to your toddler!

When should I introduce a toddler clock to my child?

There are two great times to introduce a toddler clock to your child’s routine.

When there is a problem you want to solve.
Before a problem even arises.

Obviously, if there’s an issue with your child’s sleep habits, like early morning wakes, bringing in a toddler clock can help them understand that the time they’re getting up isn’t time yet.

But these devices can also be used preventatively, even before you transition your child from their crib to their own bed. In fact, introducing it early can help it become part of their bedtime process.

If possible, I’d recommend bringing in a toddler clock before you get to any issues, because it can help prevent situations from arising. Additionally, it can serve as a cue – when it’s time to begin the bedtime routine, you can set the clock to change colors, alerting your child that it’s time to end their playtime and wind down.

How do I use a toddler clock to its fullest potential?

Once you know that introducing a toddler clock to your little one is something that would benefit your family, it’s time to teach your toddler how it works.

And sometimes, this can take time.

Here’s my recommended steps for using a toddler clock to its fullest potential:

Take time to learn the ins and outs of the clock. Read the manual, watch videos online, or read blog posts that go into detail about the clock. The last thing we’d want is to get your child excited about something that they can’t use right away.
Give your toddler ownership of the clock. You can wrap the clock or gift it to your child, but this is a time to get excited about this new item. Make it a big deal. Further, there are so many toddler clocks on the market, so if your child is obsessed with a certain character or item (like a traffic light), see if you can find one related to their interests. This will help engage your child and entice them to “buy in.”
Show your child how their new clock works! This will depend on the clock that you use, but sit down with them and explain each feature. If the clock changes colors, you can explain that when it’s time to sleep, the light will be red, and when it’s time to wake, the light will turn green. Of course, you can show them what each color looks like so that they fully understand. Feel free to get creative with your teachings and make up sayings or songs like, “When the light’s red, it’s time to stay in bed.”
Give your child time to learn and recall the rules. It won’t be perfect right away, and that’s okay.

A few other tips I’ve learned along the years of using toddler clocks:

If possible, introduce the clock to your child when they’re still in their crib. That way, when they move to their bed, the clock will serve as a constant for them and prevent them from getting out of bed when it isn’t time.
If the clock is introduced because of a problem, like early morning wakes, set the clock to turn on at the time your child is waking (i.e. 5 a.m.). This way, when they wake up and see that it’s “time,” they will get excited and feel as though they’re doing something right. After they’ve bought into the clock, you can add 10-15 minutes every few days until the clock is set to the ideal wake time. Waiting 10-15 minutes is much more manageable than waiting 2 hours, so take it slow if needed.

Again, any time you introduce something new to your child regarding expectations, it’s a good idea to head into the process with a patient mindset. It’s going to take time for your child to understand their new clock and for them to uphold the rules you’ve set.

Stay consistent and find ways to celebrate your child when they meet those expectations, and soon, you’ll have a toddler who is excited to use their clock each day.

If your toddler is struggling with sleep and you don’t feel a toddler clock is the right fix, reach out to me . Together, we can make a personalized plan for your family to get sleep back on track!

5 Things an Early Bedtime can Fix

Mon, 12 Dec 2022 07:45:00 GMT

For many sleep issues that parents come to me with, there seems to be a common solution:

An early bedtime.

While an early bedtime isn’t the answer to everything (many factors impact sleep and taking a deeper look into what’s going on can be very telling), this simple change in schedule can fix quite a bit.

I know that for many cultures around the world, an early bedtime isn’t something that’s easily accepted, as it’s common for children to go to bed later in the evening. In fact, I’ve worked with families who came to me with an 11 p.m. or 1 a.m. bedtime for their child.

So I understand that as you read this, you may pushback on this idea.

However, I encourage you to keep an open mind and a willingness to try something new. Who knows…an earlier bedtime for your child may just be the answer you need.

Here are five things that an early bedtime can fix!

Early bedtimes can fix night wakes

If your little one is waking multiple times throughout the night (and it’s not just because they are hungry ), it could be because they are overly tired.

I know reading that statement may not compute – shouldn’t overly tired children just sleep straight through the night?!

In an ideal world, yes! But that’s not how our bodies work. When children are tired – maybe they have been skipping their naps, taking short naps, taking a long time to fall asleep at night, staying up late – cortisol, a stress hormone, can interfere with their melatonin production, causing multiple night wakes.

I also want to note that another common cause of multiple night wakes is your child looking for a sleep association. For instance, if your child is used to being rocked or nursed to sleep, when they move through their sleep cycles, they’ll wake up and look for that association in order to fall back to sleep.

If that’s the position you find yourself in, together we can make a plan of action to help your little one learn to fall asleep on their own, so that they can put themselves back to sleep if they wake overnight.

But if your child is falling asleep independently and they’re still waking multiple times a night, an earlier bedtime may be the fix!

Early bedtimes can fix early morning wakes

If your child is waking you up early each morning ready to start their day, taking a look at what time they go to bed is the first step.

Before we go on, let’s define what an early morning wake is.

Your child wakes up before 6 a.m. and won’t go back to sleep
Your child is getting less than 11-12 hours of overnight sleep

If both of these points apply to your child, then you’ve likely found yourself in an early morning wake situation.

Children need to sleep a certain amount of hours each night, and if they’re waking up early, it’s likely because their circadian rhythm is “set” to that wake time.

By putting them to bed earlier, we’re allowing them to clock more hours each night, giving them the rest they need.

I know many parents worry that if they put their child to bed early, then they’ll just wake up early. But surprisingly, that’s not always the case. In fact, many parents find that when they put their child to sleep earlier, they end up sleeping longer, or at the very least, getting the appropriate amount of sleep for their age.

Early bedtimes can fix bedtime pushbacks

If bedtime in your house involves…

Your child having a hard time falling asleep each night

Crying, protesting, or asking for a million things before settling into bed

…then you may want to consider an earlier bedtime.

Bedtime pushbacks may look differently based on the age of your child, but if bedtime brings dread to everyone in your house because it takes such a long time, I encourage you to evaluate the bed time.

Pushback or even just trouble falling asleep at bedtime comes back to your child’s circadian rhythm. When your child stays awake longer than their internal clock, they will get a second wind of energy that pushes them to stay awake – even though their bodies may be ready to sleep.

Because of this extra energy, your child’s body thinks it needs to stay awake, and even though it may be late, their bodies just won’t be able to do what it needs to do to fall asleep.

But when you get ahead of this second wind of energy, you can get your little one to bed at just the right time.

Early bedtimes can fix rowdy periods leading up to bedtime

The other thing that second wind of energy can bring is tantrums.

Or super excited children, whose last thought is bedtime.

If the moment you announce it’s time to get ready for bed your child begins to run around, laugh, jump on furniture, or throw the biggest tantrum you’ve seen, it’s not because they need to “get that energy out.”

This is a common sign that we’ve missed their ideal bedtime (according to their circadian rhythm) and may want to pull bedtime a little earlier.

Of course, if you experience tantrums and running around regardless of the bed time, you may want to evaluate your bedtime routines to really ensure they are setting your child up for a great night’s rest.

Early bedtimes can fix parent-to-parent quality time

As much as you love your child, having time to yourself or to spend with a significant other is important.

But when your child goes to bed at 11 p.m. each night, you likely will find that you aren’t left with much time for bonding.

Not only will an earlier bedtime allow you to sit with your partner and watch a movie or play a game, but it also opens the door for fun date nights. While you’re away, you won’t have to worry about whether the babysitter is handling things okay – you’ll know your children are tucked away in bed safely, and you can sit back and enjoy your evening out.

I know that an earlier bedtime won’t work for every family.

But if you have the option to move your child’s bedtime earlier, I highly recommend you try it and see what happens. Give it a week and then report back to me! You can find me over on Instagram !

Nap Transition Series: 2 to 1 Transition

Tue, 22 Nov 2022 06:00:00 GMT

Right when you feel as though you’ve fallen in the grove with your child’s naps – you know when they’re going to happen and how long they’re going to last – the next nap transition pops around the corner to disrupt things again.

While all of the nap transitions can bring unique challenges, the 2 to 1 nap transition is often rough because we’re nearly doubling our child’s awake windows. For some children, this transition is forced upon them, like if they’re starting daycare and will be on one nap, and for others, they gradually transition into a 1-nap schedule.

If your child’s daycare requires them to be on a 1-nap schedule, head over to this blog for a few tips on managing your child’s sleep.

But if you’re in the other category and you think your little one is ready for 1 nap, read on for the signs and tips to make this transition as seamless as possible.

The Signs

If you think your child is ready to drop down on the number of naps they’re taking, I first encourage you to wait. Typically, parents drop to one nap because their child was fighting one of their two naps.

But in the 12-month vicinity, it’s not uncommon to see a nap strike. This isn’t a sign that your child is ready to drop to one nap permanently, and if you keep offering the second nap, it usually will return.

So before you make any changes to your child’s schedule, I first encourage you to give it two weeks of offering your child both naps, adjusting the timing if needed. For example, if your child has been skipping their first nap, you can consider offering it to them at a little later time and then capping their nap.

While all children will be ready to drop to one nap at their own time, here are a few signs your child may be ready:

Your baby is between 15-18 months old
Your child consistently skips one of their naps, and after waiting two weeks, it doesn’t return
In some cases, night wakes will become more frequent due to your little one getting too much daytime sleep

When you have identified that your child is in fact ready for 1 nap and they’re not just in a little strike or regression, then it’s time to make changes to their schedule.

The Transition

Depending on your child, you may notice that they’ve been skipping one of their naps.

If your child is skipping their first nap, I find that’s usually the easiest to handle. You can make the second nap slightly earlier for a few days and then bring bedtime earlier also.

If it’s the second nap that’s skipped, the task can be a little more difficult. Around 11 a.m., offer your child their first nap. This can be hard for some children, as they aren’t used to staying awake that long. Get creative in keeping them awake and engaged: play outdoors, introduce a new activity or have an impromptu snack party! It goes without saying that bedtime will have to be earlier as well since the nap is earlier than usual.

Then, after 3-4 days, you can move that nap time 15-30 minutes later. After a few days, you can move it another 15-30 minutes later until you reach your target nap time.

Once you get to around 12:30/1 p.m., you can leave it there, depending on what time your little one wakes up for the day.

In some cases, you may need to do a bigger morning block or a bigger evening block, but you can make that determination based on your child’s needs and capacity.

Secrets of the 1-Nap Schedule

Making this transition takes a while, and it’s important to remember to keep the bedtime earlier during this adjustment period.

I’ve also noticed that early morning wakes can creep up during this transition, so if you find that happening with your little one, here’s a tip for you:

Wait until the “okay to wake” time.

If your child wakes up at 5 a.m. but their “okay to wake” time is 6 a.m., wait until 6 a.m. to get them out of bed to start the day.

If you go in at 5 a.m. and get started with the day, your child may adapt to that schedule and begin waking early consistently.

Making changes in your child’s routine and sleep habits is never easy.

But together, we can ensure everyone in your house is getting the sleep they need to be the most confident, well-rested version of themselves possible.

I can’t wait to chat more with you!

What is Sleep Training?

Wed, 09 Nov 2022 06:03:06 GMT

From the moment you shared the good news that you were expecting a baby, you likely received a lot of advice, like, “Oh, get ready! You’re never going to sleep again!”

While it’s true that being a parent can bring some exhaustion, especially in the early months, sleep is a need for everyone in your household. So taking the steps to improve your child’s sleep can bring benefits to everyone…including your little one.

During the 4th trimester, your baby needs a lot of assistance from you when it comes to their sleep. And because we’re often in survival mode, when we find something that works, we just keep doing it.

If you rock your baby and realize they fall asleep, then when you’re trying to get them back to sleep, you’re going to try rocking again.

Or if you notice your baby falls asleep while at the breast, when you’re exhausted and your baby needs to go to sleep, you’re going to try putting them on the breast again.

Babies are all about habits and routines, so these methods of falling asleep quickly become a habit – your child doesn’t know anything else. And while those methods of getting your little one to sleep may work for you, many families reach a point where they no longer work.

Maybe your baby has grown quite a bit and rocking them to sleep is hurting your back.

Or maybe your child needs to nurse every time they wake overnight, and you’ve reached the end of your rope.

When that happens – when what was once working is no longer sustainable – you may begin to wonder how else you can get your baby to fall asleep.

And that’s what sleep training is – it’s showing your baby how to sleep in other ways.

What is Sleep Training?

When you’re ready to change your baby’s sleep habits, it’s not like having a conversation with a 10 year old. You can’t say, “Okay, little one. I know you’re used to falling asleep while I rock you every night, but moving forward, you’re going to fall asleep in your crib. Got it?”

With young children, in order to see change, we have to show them with our actions what we want them to do.

If, for instance, your child is used to falling asleep at the breast, you’ll want to show them how to fall asleep in a new way. Maybe you decide that you’ll hold your baby until they fall asleep instead.

As simple as that may seem to us, that’s a big change for your child, and it will take them time to adjust to this new way of sleeping.

But sleep training is more than just a technique that you choose – it’s about ensuring all of the pieces are in place for your child to sleep well.

Before we go on, I think it’s also important to clarify what sleep training isn’t. Sleep training is a choice – it’s not for every family. And while the goal is to change the sleep habits of your child, we’re not doing so because we’re annoyed that the baby is waking up, so we’re just going to let them cry.

The truth is, if nobody is getting the sleep they need, the entire family can suffer. Mom may not feel like she’s the mom she wants to be. Both parents may not perform as well at work. And the baby, of course, also needs sleep to thrive.

The goal of sleep training is to shift the sleep habits so that they’re more conducive to sleep and the well-being of the entire family.

Factors to Consider Before Sleep Training

Before suddenly changing the way your child falls asleep, there are a few other factors to work on.

First, you want to make sure the environment is set up to help them as much as possible. You want to ensure it’s a safe space , but also that it’s conducive to sleep – we want the room dark, cool, and with white noise.

You also want to look at your child’s schedule . Often, we wait for our babies to tell us they’re ready for sleep, but we can proactively do that and ensure they’re getting the sleep they need each day.

Establishing a solid bedtime routine which prepares your child for bed and alerts them that sleep is coming is another step to lay a foundation for great sleep.

When you do all of these things in connection with changing how your child is falling to sleep, then we know their body and mind are ready for sleep, making the change in their habits an easier process.

Once you get all of these pieces in place, you may wonder, “But how do I actually help my child learn a new way of sleeping?”

What are the Different Approaches to Sleep Training?

After establishing the foundation for sleep, you can then move to helping your child learn a new habit of falling asleep.

There’s a wide range of options that you can choose from, and I like to think of it as a spectrum.

On one end of the spectrum, there are methods that require less parental involvement, like the extinction. With this approach, you’re giving your baby a new task and asking them to learn to adjust to that. Your support is to give them the space they need to master that new skill.

In the middle of the spectrum, there’s more parental involvement, where you’re doing check-ins. These checks can look different from family to family – maybe you’re walking in to check on your baby, or maybe you say one sentence to reassure your child that they’re okay. For others, they will go in to pat or pick up their little one.

And on the other end of the spectrum are methods that require more parental involvement, like staying in the room or gradually working your way to making your baby more independent.

The choice in your method isn’t necessarily what’s best for you, but what’s best for your child. In some cases, you may want to stay in the room and offer as much support to your child as possible, but it ends up being too much stimulation for your baby.

When I work 1:1 with families, I help the family pick their method by offering advice and strategies. But ultimately, the choice is each family’s.

And truthfully, the method itself doesn’t matter as much as doing the work to prepare the space, following your child’s schedule, and staying consistent with your approach. As long as you’re taking positive steps toward your goal, any change, regardless of how gradual it is, can get you there.

It’s important to know that giving your child the chance to practice this new skill is vital. Your child won’t learn it overnight – nothing is learned overnight! Every sleep period is a good opportunity to practice.

If you’re ready to make changes in your child’s sleep habits but want a guide through the process, I invite you to schedule a call with me today.

Together, we’ll talk through your goals and your child’s temperament to find a method that works great for your family!

Managing Your Child’s Separation Anxiety

Mon, 19 Sep 2022 09:19:03 GMT

As a new mom, one of the hardest things you’ll ever do is leave your baby for the first time. Whether you’re going out with your friends, returning to work after maternity leave, or just taking a trip to the grocery store alone, leaving your baby with someone else (even if it’s another amazing caregiver) can be a challenge.

But eventually, leaving will become easier.

For you, at least.

As your baby becomes more aware and develops object permanence, it’s very common for them to experience separation anxiety. All parents go through this at some point – even I did!

I remember having to sneak out of the room with my first born…as he was busy doing something else, I’d quickly walk out to prevent any meltdowns that would come if I left when he was paying attention to me. But I quickly realized sneaking out of the room wasn't the best strategy.

If you find yourself in this season of separation anxiety, I want you to know two things.

One, it won’t last forever. In time, your child will begin to understand that when you leave, you’ll come back.

Two, there are tips to help you manage if your child is experiencing a lot of anxiety when you leave them. And that, my friends, is what we’ll focus on in this post.

What is Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety is exactly what it sounds like: feelings of anxiety when you’re separated from someone or something.

For many babies, separation anxiety is noticed when mom or dad leaves the room, leaves the house for work, or drops them off at daycare.

Separation anxiety doesn’t just pop in at certain times. Rather, it ebbs and flows in the first couple years. When your baby is little, they don’t understand that you’ll be coming back when you leave their sight. In their minds, you’re gone forever.

Because of this, it can cause tears, protests, or clinginess.

Of course, separation anxiety can present itself in different ways, but if you notice a change in your child’s behavior when you leave their presence, it’s likely that they’re experiencing some form of separation anxiety.

Start Small and Practice

If you have a little one who is dealing with separation anxiety, it can be hard to determine the best strategy. Do you try to leave when they aren’t paying attention, or do you stick to it and walk out the door, even if they are crying and chasing after you?

Many parents worry and think that they won’t be able to leave their baby who is stuck to their hip. But you can train your baby in this area, just as you do with sleep, by starting small.

From the start, whenever you leave, stress to your child that mommy will be back. You can even make it fun and sing Daniel Tiger’s “Grown Ups Come Back” song to help them learn that you’re not leaving them forever!

Play peek-a-boo with your child to show them that when things or people disappear, they are still there. You can do this with their toys by hiding them behind a pillow or a book, or you can play with them by hiding behind the couch or leaving the room and popping back in.

As you play with your baby, you can gradually extend how long you are “hidden.” Maybe when you first start playing, you’re only gone for 3 seconds. But as your child understands that you’re not gone forever, you can stay out of the room for longer periods of time.

Leaving the House When Your Baby is Clingy

Another important element of helping your little one with their separation anxiety is to create a goodbye routine that you can practice each time you leave your child’s presence.

A great goodbye routine consists of two things: it’s short and it’s consistent.

You don’t want to have a long, drawn-out goodbye routine, as that can further upset your baby. Instead, keep it short and sweet. Tell your little one that you’ll be back, and stay confident. Your baby will pick up on any anxiety you have, and it will only feed into theirs.

Then, when you do return home, tell your child, “Mommy was gone, and she came back!” to further prove that *cue Daniel Tiger* grown ups come back.

Whatever the routine looks like, it’s important to keep it consistent. Every time you leave, make sure you do the same things. Give your little one a hug, kiss them goodbye, and tell them you’ll be back soon. If you sneak out on your baby one day, they won’t trust that you’ll actually come back when you leave.

Separation Anxiety and Bedtime

Just as your child thinks you won’t come back when you walk out the door, it’s the same with their sleep. Your child is separated from you for a while throughout the night, and this can make bedtime difficult.

All the more reason to stick to your routine and reassure them that you will come back in the morning.

With practice, your baby will soon understand that leaving is normal, and they will trust that you will return.

One of the best ways to help your child manage separation anxiety is by creating a consistent routine, which includes the bedtime routine. If you currently don’t have a bedtime routine, or it varies each night, I encourage you to check out this blog post to help you get started.

I know separation anxiety can be hard to manage, but by taking small steps each day and staying consistent, your little one will grow in their trust and understanding in no time!

Questions to Ask Your Child’s Daycare

Mon, 05 Sep 2022 08:47:08 GMT

Enrolling your child in daycare can come with mixed emotions – you may be sad to see your little ones enter a new environment, as it marks a big transition in their growth. And at the same time, you may love seeing how your kids flourish and learn in daycare, surrounded by other children and adults.

Both of my kids went into daycare really young, at 18 months and almost 2 years old. Watching my boys become other people was an amazing experience, and I believe that nursery can be a great place for children to grow.

But I know daycare isn’t home, and because of that, you may have worries or questions about your child’s sleep and how they will adapt in a completely new environment.

While you may not have complete control over the policies your child’s daycare follows, I’ve compiled a list of questions you can ask potential daycare providers to give you peace of mind and ensure your little one is getting the best opportunity for sleep.

Communicate with Your Daycare

While you won’t be able to mold nurseries to make them fit your every need, you’d be surprised at what they are able to do when you talk to them. After all, you are a client of theirs, and they likely want to keep you and make you happy.

Here is a list of questions you can ask your daycare, as well as a brief explanation for why that question may be important for you.

Questions About the Sleep Environment

Where your child sleeps has a huge impact on how well your child sleeps. While your daycare provider may not have much control over the layout of the space, knowing this information can help you make a decision about whether the nursery is the right fit for your child.

Whenever I would ask any question to potential daycares, I never asked with the intent of having them change anything – it was simply good for me to have the data about what could be impacting my child’s sleep.

Here are a few questions to keep in mind:

Where will my child nap?
Is the sleep area near a play area?
Do you darken the room during nap time?

You can also ask about any flexibility within these situations, like whether it’s possible to have your child sleep as far away as possible from play areas to prevent the sound of other kids from waking your little one up.

Questions About Safety

Of course, the top priority for choosing a daycare is whether your child is safe. When it comes to their sleep, you can ask:

What will the kids sleep on?
If my baby is napping in a crib, what’s in that crib with him?
What safe sleep practices do you follow?

All daycares will vary here, but I’ve had some clients share that their 6 month old’s daycare used hammocks for nap time. Other nurseries will use a cot that is off the floor. Of course, if you have a younger baby, you want to make sure they’re in a crib.

Knowing whether the nursery follows safety sleep guidelines is vital. If you don’t feel comfortable with how your child is sleeping, follow your instincts and advocate for what you know is best.

Questions About Nap Timing

If you’ve done any sleep training, then you know that when your child naps can influence how your child sleeps. Again, some daycares won’t have any flexibility in nap times, but asking these questions can help you make the best decision for your child.

What time is the nap?
Do you wake up the kids from the nap, or do you let them sleep as long as they can?
If my child is placed in a class without a nap, can he move into a class with a nap?

Knowing when nap time is planned and how long your child naps can help you make a plan for sleep after daycare.

And of course, if you don’t feel comfortable with the answers they give you, you can ask whether there is any chance they can do something different, like put your child down for a nap first and wake them last.

Questions About Accommodations

Don’t be afraid to ask questions about what the daycare is able to accommodate. Again, we’re not approaching the situation in a demanding way, but if you don’t ask, you’ll never know if they’d be willing to do something for your child.

Here are a few questions you can consider, based on your child’s sleep needs and preferences:

Do you play lullabies during nap time? Is it possible for me to bring a sound machine to play near the crib?
Can I bring my child’s blanky for her to sleep with?
My child usually takes a bottle before he naps – will you be able to give one to him before his nap?
How much assistance is provided to help children fall asleep?
What happens if my child doesn’t nap?

You know your child best and whether they need anything special in order to sleep well. Asking the right questions is nothing to be ashamed of, and you never know – sometimes, they’ll listen to you and make the accommodations for your child.

What Happens if My Child Doesn't Sleep Well at Daycare?

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, your child still won’t sleep well away from home. That’s normal and expected!

For the first couple of weeks after starting daycare, do an earlier bedtime to help your child make up for the extra activities, emotions, and stimulation they’ll receive in nursery. And remember not to stress over what you ultimately have little control over.

In a few weeks, your child will adapt to the new schedule and environment, and things will get easier for everyone involved.

If your little one is starting daycare and you’d like to talk to someone about this transition, I invite you to send me an email to help you navigate this new venture!

Tips to Break the Thumb Sucking Habit for Older Kids

Mon, 22 Aug 2022 11:15:00 GMT

Thumb sucking: It gets a bad rap in the parenting world, I’ll admit. Many assume that once children start the habit, it’ll become too hard to break.

But speaking from personal experience, thumb sucking isn’t the monster people think it is. In fact, both of my kids were massive thumb suckers starting at a few weeks old. And believe me, I tried hard to get them onto the pacifiers, but they just didn’t take well to them.

I realized after trying to get my oldest son to take a pacifier that thumb sucking is actually a very natural way for children to comfort themselves. When they’re feeling anxious or scared, thumb sucking can be soothing and comforting.

In fact, babies even suck their thumb in utero, so this is a completely natural thing. However, I know that for some children, they need a little more help in breaking the thumb sucking habit, so I’ve compiled my best tips to share with you here.

The Downside of Thumb Sucking

Although thumb sucking is a natural thing, there are a few drawbacks to it, which may add to your desire to help your little one kick the habit.

First, because little kids like to touch everything, there is potential for more germ exposure. Encouraging frequent hand washing is a good practice, and can help establish healthy hygiene for years to come.

Second, if your child sucks their thumb beyond the age of 4, there could be some teeth misalignment as they get their permanent teeth.

And of course, your child could develop calluses on their thumbs from the constant sucking, which could cause discomfort for your little one.

Regardless of the reason for wanting your child to end their relationship with thumb sucking, here are a few tips to try.

Dropping the Habit

Most kids will drop the thumb sucking habit between ages 2-4, as there’s a sense of “peer pressure” with not wanting to suck their thumb in front of their friends.

My children, however, did not drop the habit on their own, so I had to help them. Every child is unique, so you’ll want to take an approach that will work for your child.

Before we dive further in, I want to clarify that these tips are designed to help children who don’t naturally drop the habit by 4 years old.

I’ve talked to many moms who think their 10-month old needs to stop sucking their thumb, but I personally wouldn’t worry about a young child – remember, it’s natural and soothing for infants to suck their thumb. Besides, there’s not a lot you can do to prevent a baby from engaging in this activity – at least not in a way that involves them in the process using gentle methods.

But if your older child needs a little guidance and support in this area, here are tried-and-true practices to help you.

Prep Your Child

The very first thing you want to do when working with your child to break their thumb sucking habit is to prepare them for what’s to come.

Your child needs to be ready to stop sucking their thumb. Forcing your child to do anything rarely works, and when you invite your child to be part of the process, you’ll find it usually works much better.

So follow your child’s lead. Talk to them about the downsides of thumb sucking listed above, and explain how you will work with them to help them stop sucking their thumb. Throughout the process, you’ll want to hold them accountable without pressuring or shaming them.

Introduce a Reward Chart

For some kids, simply discussing thumb sucking will be enough to encourage them to stop the habit. For others, a bit of creativity will be warranted.

When my children were working through stopping the thumb sucking habit, we introduced a rewards chart. We made cut-outs in the shape of a thumbs up and a thumbs down, and whenever they didn’t suck their thumb, they’d get a thumbs up. If they did suck their thumb, they’d get a thumbs down.

After getting thumbs up for a certain amount of days, they’d choose a reward that we’d all do as a family – one of my son’s wanted to go to an amusement park, and one wanted to go to a skate park.

But really, the reward choices are endless.

You can reward your child with stickers, extra time outside, their favorite breakfast, a special treat, or their favorite movie. The reward itself isn’t as important as the fact that it’s something your child wants and is willing to work for.

Sitting down with your child to talk about the reward they’d want for going a certain amount of days without sucking their thumb is a good strategy before beginning. The last thing you want is to try to convince your child to earn a reward they have no interest in.

Hold Your Child Accountable

After talking with your child about thumb sucking and agreeing to a reward that they’ll earn, it’s time to hold your child accountable in a loving, non-shaming way.

As with any habit, it can be hard to break the cycle. Your child may have triggers that cause them to suck their thumb without thought, like going to bed or even watching TV. If you see your child sucking their thumb, gently remind them of their reward.

In some cases, your child may revert back to sucking their thumb after earning their reward, which was the situation with one of my sons.

When he started sucking his thumb again, I didn’t shame him for his actions. I sat down to talk about it with him, and he told me he just really wanted to suck his thumb.

And you know what I did? I let him.

After about a week of continuing to track the behavior on the rewards chart, he eventually stopped.

Shaming or guilting your child isn’t worth it. Stay consistent with making your child aware of the habit when you see it, and remind them of why they started this process to begin with.

Other Ideas to Try

If a rewards chart doesn’t work for your child, or you’d like to try other ideas, here are a few.

Special nail polish that makes the nails taste bitter. Simply apply it to the finger nails and let it do its work. My youngest actually asked for the nail polish one night to try to break the habit!
Something to change the texture of the thumb – a thumb guard, sock, glove, or bandaid. Sometimes just having that change in texture is enough to bring awareness to the habit, and your child will stop on their own.

Remember that for some kids, this is a difficult habit to break, as it may also serve as a form of comfort and security. So take your time, follow your child’s lead, and don’t allow anxiety or stress to inform your decisions.

By guiding your child through the process in a gentle and loving way, they will learn how to break the habit without feeling guilt or shame.

I’d love to hear from you after trying some of these tips with your little one! Send me an email at lamis@one2sleep.com sharing how the process went!

How to Build a Bedtime Routine

Mon, 08 Aug 2022 10:45:38 GMT

When you want to make positive changes to your child’s sleep, there are a few foundational pieces you want in place – a safe sleep environment conducive to sleep, an age-appropriate schedule for your child, and ensuring all of your child’s nutritional and emotional needs are met.

One of the best ways to prepare your child’s body for sleep is by creating a consistent bedtime routine. If the idea of a consistent bedtime routine is new to you, I want you to know that it doesn’t need to be an elaborate routine.

In fact, when I first started creating my son’s bedtime routine, we started with just a bedtime story, because I knew reading before bed has many benefits , like vocabulary development. Then, we built around that and expanded what we did each night.

Regardless of whether you already have a strong bedtime routine in place, or whether you consider yourself lucky if your child manages to get into their pajamas each night before they fall asleep, we’ll go over what a good bedtime routine consists of and how to build one that works for your family.

Remember that as you build your child’s bedtime routine, keep it simple to start – things you’re able to consistently do. Then in time, you can add to it.

Why is a bedtime routine important?

Bedtime routines serve four major purposes:

They give your child a chance to wind down from their activities
They provide a strong, clear cue that bedtime is coming
They allow time to sit and be with your child
They offer an opportunity to fill your child’s emotional tank

Each of these elements is important for setting a good sleep foundation, so let’s explore each one.

Bedtime routines allow your child to wind down

When we think about our child’s sleep needs, we want to consider offering a transitional period for them to calm down before going to bed.

Just as we don’t jump into bed right after running errands all day, our children shouldn’t be expected to immediately go to bed after playing outside or being engaged in other activities. Chances are, their bodies just won’t be ready for that.

When you have a bedtime routine, it offers a clear transition from fun and play to calm and relaxing, making sure that your child is ready for the sleep ahead.

Bedtime routines provide a strong cue that sleep is coming

One of the benefits of a bedtime routine is that it alerts your child’s body that sleep is coming. When you do the same activities each night, your child’s body receives a signal that it needs to begin producing the appropriate hormones needed for sleep.

Not only will your child’s body begin to prepare for sleep, but knowing what to expect can help prevent bedtime battles with your little ones.

Bedtime routines give you a chance to sit and be with your child

If you work away from your children throughout the day, having a chance to be with them before they go to bed is likely a much welcomed activity.

Even for parents who stay at home with their children all day, being able to sit with your child after the chaos of the day is a great way to build a strong connection with them.

A good bedtime routine allows for that special bonding time, which is beneficial to both parent and child.

Bedtime routines offer an opportunity to fill your child's emotional tank

Before expecting your child to sleep all night, you want to make sure you’ve filled their emotional tank. For children who are moving away from co-sleeping in their parents’ bed to sleeping in their own space, it can be hard to ask them to sleep 12 hours alone suddenly.

Even for children who do sleep alone but are used to being around people all day, it’s a big change to go from constant touch, support, and communication to being alone.

Spending time cuddling and hugging your little one during the bedtime routine can give you the confidence and reassurance that their tank is filled, and that they can sleep all night and look forward to seeing you in the morning.

How do you build a bedtime routine?

Now that we know why each element of the bedtime routine is important, it’s time to build a routine that works for your child and family.

To build a solid bedtime routine, we want to focus on each of the 4 elements above.

Winding Down

To help your child begin to wind down, you can begin with a bath or, if you don’t bathe your child every night, you can wash your child’s hands and face. Then, change them into a clean diaper and pajamas, and for older kids, brush their teeth.

If your little one still drinks milk, now is the perfect time to offer it. By offering milk at the beginning of the bedtime routine, we’re allowing a nice buffer to prevent a feed-sleep association from developing. As a side note, if your little one is drinking milk, consider brushing their teeth after they finish their bottle to ensure proper dental hygiene.

Bonding Activity

Next, we want to do a bonding activity. We’ll want to keep things calm and not too stimulating during the bedtime routine, so things like reading books, singing songs, saying prayers, or even saying goodnight to all of their toys is a great option.

For older children, talking about their day and asking them about their favorite moments is a nice way to end the day on a positive note.

Fill Their Emotional Tank

Throughout the bedtime routine, I always encourage my clients to offer lots of hugs, cuddles, and kisses. This is the time to fill your child’s emotional tank before they head off to sleep for the night, so get creative!

I know some people assume that when you sleep train your child, you lose out on the bonding experience. But just because your child is able to fall asleep independently doesn’t mean you can’t hold, hug, and cuddle them ever again. Expecting them to sleep all night doesn’t mean that bond needs to be erased.

Remain Consistent

It’s nice to have predictability, so staying consistent each night will help your child anticipate what’s to come and offer them security and stability.

If you know that creating a strong routine is something that would benefit your family but you feel stuck and unsure how to begin, book a call with me today ! When I work 1:1 with families, creating a bedtime routine that is personalized to their unique needs is one part of the process.

Let’s chat today to get started on better nights ahead!

Night Lights in Your Child’s Room: What to Consider

Mon, 18 Jul 2022 06:00:00 GMT

Pop quiz: On a scale from 1 to 10, how dark should your child’s room be when they sleep?

If you’ve already read my blog on the perfect sleep environment , then you know your child’s room should be completely dark to ensure their melatonin production isn’t inhibited by any lights.

But why is having a dark room so important, and are there any situations where you can have night lights on in your child’s room?

Let’s dive into that!

Why does darkness matter?

At the foundation of a perfect sleep environment for your child, you want their room to be dark. In fact, ensuring their room is dark has many benefits:

Melatonin (the hormone that plays a big role in your child’s sleep) is produced when it’s dark. Melatonin can help your child fall asleep and stay asleep, ensuring they get the rest their bodies need.
When your child’s body detects light, regardless of how bright, melatonin production is inhibited. Light signals to the body that it’s time to wake up, and if your child’s room has light coming through the windows or has a lamp on all night, their body is receiving the message that it’s not time to sleep. This is one of the reasons I suggest getting blackout curtains for your child’s room.
Light can be distracting for young children. When babies wake up in the middle of the night and see light, their attention is drawn to that (and everything illuminated), rousing them further from sleep.

Not only can a dark environment help keep your child sleeping longer, but it truly impacts the quality of sleep they’re getting. Since melatonin impacts your child’s circadian rhythm (their wake-sleep cycle), optimizing their room for sleep sets the stage for healthy sleep long term.

But what about night lights?

Even with the understanding that a dark room is best for sleep, many parents may wonder if they can use a night light in their children’s room.

My answer: It really depends – there are situations where having a night light is appropriate and useful, and situations where it’s not needed.

During the 4th trimester

During the fourth trimester when you’re stumbling through the dark to feed your baby and change their diaper, having a night light can help tremendously. In this situation, you may not need to have the night light on all night, only when you’re in the room so that you can see.

However, if you can do without a night light, then there’s no need to get one!

When your child is afraid of the dark

Later in your child’s life, when they’re around 2 or 3 years old, it could be appropriate to use a night light if your child has vocalized they’re scared of the dark. You may be able to turn a night light on at the start of the bedtime routine and turn it off after your child has fallen asleep, depending on the situation.

It’s important to note that the fear of the dark doesn’t develop until your child is in their toddler years and their imagination has begun to develop. In the infant months, your child isn’t afraid of the dark. Remember, your womb was absolutely dark, and they were perfectly safe and happy there.

Chances are, if your infant seems afraid of the dark, it’s likely another issue that’s going on, and we can always set up a consultation to figure out what it seems to be.

What kind of night light can we use?

If you know that having a night light is appropriate and would be beneficial for your child or you, there is one key fact to remember:

Opt for orange or red-toned lights.

Traditional night lights that have white or blue light are registered by your child’s body the same way that the sunlight is: “It’s time to wake up! Stop the melatonin production!”

Red or orange-toned lights don’t have that same impact on melatonin production, so they’re the best option to use.

For some families, they find that using a regular lamp and replacing the bulb with a red or orange light works sufficiently. Others will opt for a color changing nightlight that doubles as a toddler clock to communicate expectations to their child.

Which night light you use isn’t as important as the color of the light, so keep that in mind.

Remember, if there isn’t a need for a night light, then having one isn’t a necessity. Ultimately, while a night light could be helpful in some situations, ensuring your child’s room is as dark as possible will promote the best restorative sleep.

If you’re struggling with other aspects of your child’s sleep and you’re not sure what could be done to help everyone in your house get the sleep they deserve, let’s set up a free Discovery Call today.

In just 20 minutes, you’ll be able to share all about what’s keeping you up at night, and we can get started on a path to more restful nights.

You’ve got nothing to lose and a lot of sleep to gain!

Nap Transition Series: 3-2 Transition

Tue, 05 Jul 2022 05:45:45 GMT

As a parent, you’re likely in one of two groups:

Group A) Your child sleeps beautifully and takes long, restful naps during the day.

Group B) Your child doesn’t know what a nap is, and if you’re lucky enough to get a nap in, it comes with a lot of protest.

Regardless of the group you’re in, when children transition from one nap schedule to another, it can sometimes come with new challenges.

Children may go from easily falling asleep for their naps to protesting one (or all!) of them. Or they may not be able to stay awake until bedtime, leaving you wondering how you’re supposed to accomplish the nap schedule transition.

While all nap transitions can be challenging, some families find the 3-2 nap transition to be the easiest, as the third nap sometimes naturally drops on its own. However, this isn’t always the case, and just like with any other transition, it can leave your child overtired and leave you frustrated. But it doesn’t have to be that way!

No matter where you are in the 3-2 nap transition – whether you’re just about to start or have a few months to go and simply want to be prepared – I want to equip you with the tools to identify when your baby is ready so that you feel confident throughout the process.

The Signs

The first step to successfully helping your little one transition from 3 naps to 2 is to ensure that they are ready. While all children are different and will have their own timeline, here are a few signs that your little one may be ready to drop to 2 naps:

Your baby is between 7-9 months old
The first two naps are consolidating nicely (each at least an hour long)
The third nap is becoming more difficult to achieve
When the third nap does occur, it causes bedtime to be too late

Once you’ve identified that your baby is ready for 2 naps, it’s time to gradually transition them into their new schedule.

The Transition

The process of dropping from 3 naps to 2 is going to be unique for each baby. For some children, they will naturally drop their 3rd nap, and for others, they require a little more guidance from their parents.

The best way to transition to a new nap schedule is to gradually begin to extend your baby’s wake windows throughout the day.

For example, if your baby normally follows 2-hour wake windows, you’ll begin to push their awake time by about 15 minutes each day until you are at your child’s ideal wake widow. If you’re unsure what wake window your child should be following, you can find a suggested breakdown by age here .

It’s important to remember that when you’re dropping to 2 naps, you’ll likely have to move bedtime up a little earlier for a few days. Making this transition isn’t a race – we want to follow your baby’s lead and take our time.

Secrets of the 2-Nap Schedule

After following a 2-nap schedule for a few days, you can begin to move to a clock-based schedule where naps occur at the same time each day. For some families, this is the best part of a 2-nap schedule – they know when their child’s naps will be each day!

Here’s a sample 2-nap schedule based on a 7 a.m. wake up:

Wake up: 7 a.m.

Nap 1: 9:30 am

Nap 2: 2 p.m.

Bedtime: 7 p.m.

As you transition to your new 2 nap schedule, there may be days where your little one seems overly tired. If that’s the case, you can do one of two things:

Option 1 : Offer a “rescue nap.” If nap 2 was really short, or you feel your little one just isn’t able to make it to bedtime, you can fit a short nap in between nap 2 and bedtime. However, it’s important that you don’t offer a rescue nap every day, as we’re working to help your little one adjust to their new 2-nap schedule!

Option 2 : My personal go-to recommendation for situations where your child is really tired is to move bedtime earlier for the day. As your child gets used to their 2-nap schedule, they’ll adjust back to their normal bedtime.

Making changes in your child’s routine and sleep habits is never easy.

But together, we can ensure everyone in your house is getting the sleep they need to be the most confident, well-rested version of themselves possible.

I can’t wait to chat more with you!

Are you Team Pacifier?

Wed, 08 Jun 2022 09:08:01 GMT

Pacifiers (pacis, dummies, binkies or whatever you may call them) may be your best friend or worst enemy depending on the season you are going through. It feels like it might be your only chance to go to sleep or the reason you are up all night to pop it back in as it pops out of your babe’s mouth like a jack in the box. So the question is then, should you offer your baby a pacifier to begin with? As with many things I present on this blog platform, the answer really depends on you and your baby. If offering a paci is important to you, do it. If not, then there is no need. And your baby will also have an opinion regarding the topic so listen to them as well. Having said that, here are a few points to consider when making the choice.

What are the benefits of pacifiers?

Babies are born with a sucking need. Most of that is satisfied by breastfeeding or bottle feeding but for some babies, they need to continue sucking beyond that. The pacifier can be very handy in this situation as it can help satisfy the extra need for sucking and we call this non-nutritive sucking.

This non-nutritive sucking in turn helps babies recall or trigger their calming reflex. This reflex is helpful in soothing a particularly fussy baby. If your babe experiences fussy periods in the day (example purple crying period), try offering them a pacifier to help them find some calm.

In addition, research has shown that the use of a pacifier at the onset of sleep is a protective measure agains SIDS. This means that it can reduce the incidence of SIDS, even if the pacifier is not propped back in in the middle of the night.

What Pitfalls should I be on the lookout for?

While the pacifier has many advantages, it also has some pitfalls that you should be aware of. For starters, if baby comes to rely on it to fall asleep, it can interrupt night sleep if it falls out. This is especially true for infants as they are unable to place it back in their mouths independently and will then need to signal to parents to come place it back.

Each baby is different and while opinions vary on the topic, some breastfed babies have been known to experience nipple confusion after using a pacifier. If this is something you are concerned with, you may want to wait until you stabilize your breastfeeding before you introduce a pacifier.

Though rare, pacifiers have been linked to repeated incidences of ear infections. Check with your pediatrician if your baby is experiencing recurrent ear infections, you may need to drop the pacifier before you intended to.

Most children will have dropped the pacifier by the time they are 4 years old. Prolonged pacifier use can have dental implications such as teeth misalignment.

When should I introduce a pacifier?

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends introducing the pacifier when baby is around 3 or 4 weeks old. This gives you time to stabilize breastfeeding and prevent any nipple confusion.

What if my baby hates the pacifier?

Even your best plans to use the pacifier may be foiled by your little one. They may just not like it. If this is something that's important to you, you can persist without necessarily forcing it upon your little one. Remember that babies are born with a thrust reflex which might cause them to push the pacifier away when you put it in their mouth. But they also have a sucking reflex which helps them hold on to the nipple (human or bottle/paci) and squeeze it between the roof of their mouth and tongue. Many researchers believe these two reflexes are linked, but I digress here. What I’m trying to say is that Dr. Harvey Karp (author of the Happiest Baby on the Block) recommends that you gently tug the pacifier once you place it in your baby’s mouth to activate their sucking reflex and stop their thrust reflex.

When to drop the pacifier?

I have found that there are a couple of places in baby’s early life where it is easiest to drop the pacifier. Don’t get me wrong, removing the pacifier from baby’s routine is not easy but these times are relatively easier compared to others. The first one is around 4 months of age, when baby’s circadian rhythms are developed. Baby at this age hasn't formed too many habits that are hard to change and is young enough to quickly adjust to life without the paci. This also helps in preventing the pacifier from becoming a sleep crutch/association. If you keep the pacifier beyond this point, the next easiest place to drop it is when baby is between 2 and 4 years old.

How do I go about dropping the pacifier at 4 months?

1- Cold Turkey : Drop the pacifier overnight and replace it with another way to soothe your baby to sleep such as rocking or patting. Or better yet, use this time to teach your baby to self settle and become an independent little sleeper!

2- Gradual : Slowly and over a few weeks, reduce your babe’s use of the pacifier. You can start by not offering it during the day. Then offer it only at the onset of sleep and then finally dropping it altogether.

What if I decide not to drop it at 4 months, how can I reduce the Jack in the Box effect?

If you don’t drop the pacifier when your babe is around 4 months, there will most likely be a period where you will have to replace baby’s pacifier in the middle of the night if it falls out. In this case, encourage your baby’s independence by teaching them to replace it themselves. Instead of putting it directly in their mouth, place it in their hand and then gently guide them to their mouth. Over time, you can slowly reduce your intervention and babe will be able to just place it themselves. To help them out in the middle of the night, place multiple pacis in the crib. You can also use daytime play to show baby how to grab the pacifier and put it in their mouth.

How do I drop the pacifier later (between 2 and 4 years of age)?

1- Cold Turkey : Mentally prepare baby that when they reach 3 years old for example (or any other milestone you choose), you will plant the pacifier or the pacifier fairy will come get it or we will donate the pacifier to other younger babies. But be prepared, once the fairy comes, it can’t bring it back. Consistency is your friend here.

2- Gradual : You can also do it gradually as described for younger babes. Explain to your child that at such and such age, we can only use the paci when its dark and be consistent about your decision. Then choose another change and stick with it for a few days until your baby no longer needs it.

The Paci Weaning System by Frida is also a good option to explore as it helps wean the pacifier gradually.

As you can see, there are good reasons why opinions are divided regarding the pacifier. But if what you are doing is working for you, then it is the right decision for your family!

The Importance of a Morning Routine

Thu, 28 Apr 2022 11:50:15 GMT

We have all done it before: Baby wakes up early in the morning but we are not totally ready to wake up. So we scoop baby up, we bring him to our bed in the hopes that they sleep a little more and we can get some precious extra “minutes” of sleep. We might even let them get on an iPad or turn on a tv show for them just so we can lay down a little more without having to entertain them. The problem with this scenario is that you are blurring the lines between night and day for your baby. And since little ones love to detect patterns and routines, they will soon begin to associate those early wakes with spending time in your bed or that oh so fun show on their IPad. Before you know it, they are waking up earlier and earlier, looking forward to what they have learned to do as soon as they woke up. And soon enough, that 6 am wake is now 5:30, then 5 then 4 am.

Importance of a morning routine

For the well functioning and synchronization of their circadian rhythms, babies need to wake up at the same time and in the same manner every day. The consistency in wake up time will help their bodies learn to recognize when it is time to eat, sleep again and even create regularity in their bowel movement. This consistent wake up time is known as a zeitgeber, or the trigger that helps the body start the 24 hour cycle.

In addition, since babies rely heavily on routines to understand the world around them, a clear separation of when the day starts will help them understand and find comfort in knowing what comes next. This can be done by implementing a “morning routine”.

What is a morning routine

We spend a lot of time talking about bedtime routines, why not do something similar in the morning? I understand you are probably still groggy and not fully ready to start YOUR day so let’s keep it simple.

1- change your tone : with nighttime, we try to keep our tone and interaction as boring as possible. For the morning routine, use a more excited tone and greet your baby happily.

2- change the environment : open the curtains and show baby that the sun is out, the birds are chirping and the day has started

3- change the clothes : have a small morning routine of changing baby’s nappy and clothes

If your baby has slept in their crib all night, this sweet meeting moment is great for some morning cuddles hugs and kisses!

And then head over to another room/area of the house to start breakfast or nurse your babe.

These simple steps will help baby recognize how your family starts the day, will keep his or her circadian rhythm on track and will set their daily schedule. Comment below with what you usually do in the morning. And if you don't have a particular bedtime routine and would like to set one up, let’s chat!

Schedule your free discovery call today using this link .

The Ultimate Sleep Training Dictionary and Acronym Guide (in layman’s terms)

Tue, 19 Apr 2022 06:27:20 GMT

In the baby sleep world, there are a lot of terms and acronyms that only someone in the sleep deprived trenches may recognize. And full confession here, it took me a while to even decipher and come to recognize some of these. Don’t hold it against me, acronyms make me nervous. However, I have attempted to collect them here, with simple easy to understand definitions. Each one of these terms deserves their own blog posts (and some will get that) but here is, in brief, what we sleep consultants talk about when we refer to the following.

WW : The Wake Window or the amount of time baby can stay awake from the end of one sleep period to the beginning of the next.

DWT : The Desired Wake Time is the time you choose, based on your baby’s needs and capabilities, to start the day and get your baby out of the crib.

Crib Hour : This is also referred to as Crib Rule. To encourage your baby’s body get used to sleeping longer periods during naps, you can decide on an amount of time that baby will spend in the crib during naptime, even if they wake up earlier than you planned.

MOTN Wake : Middle Of The Night wake, as the name suggests, is when baby wakes up at night prior to 5 am.

EMW : Early Morning Wakes or any wake up between 5 and 6 am.

PUPD : Pick Up Put Down is a sleep training method where you pick up your baby to calm them down every time they fuss or protest.

Toddler Clock : An alarm clock that uses color to signal wake up time instead of sounds.

Sleep Rules : The rules that apply around sleep in our household. For example: we lay down, we do not wake sleeping people, etc.

Sleep Chart : A visual to display a child’s bedtime routine

Timed Checks : A sleep training method where you periodically check and console your baby as they are learning to self settle.

Split Nights : Also known as crib parties, these are middle of the night wakes that last long time and where baby seems to be not sleepy at all.

False Start : When baby wakes up shortly after falling asleep at bedtime.

Adjusted Age : The age of the baby based on expected due date instead of birth date. This is applicable to babies born prematurely.

Sleep Pressure : The drive or need for baby to sleep; it grows the longer baby stays awake and decreases when they sleep.

Melatonin : The sleep hormone.

CIO : Cry it out, a term used to refer to extinction. As a training method, it relies on giving baby the space to learn the new skill of self settling.

This list is not exhaustive, I’m sure I have missed some. There are so many! So if you have a sleep training term or acronym you’d like to add, let me know! I’ll add it and update the blog accordingly.

Top Tips for Sleep Success with Multiples

Wed, 13 Apr 2022 05:55:56 GMT

Calling out all my twin + mamas: Its not a secret, having one newborn is hard, having two or more is more is: I don’t even know what to say… super hard? So for you, here are a few things to think about when it comes to your twins’ sleep.

Many multiples are born prematurely. And for sleep, that means that they will be reaching their sleep milestones according to their expected due date, not their actual delivery date. This means that when figuring out wake windows, sleep needs and schedule, we base it on their adjusted age, or the age from their expected due date, rather than their age based on their birthday.

THE SPACE

As is recommended for singletons, newborns should sleep by themselves in their own sleep space but in their parents room for the first six months at least. It is safest if each sleeps in their own crib. Many choose to have their babies in their room for at least the first few months for ease of access during night feeds. This is also a safe sleep measure so I encourage you to keep them in your room until you are ready to move them out. Once out of your room, whether you choose to have them sleep together in their own room or separately will be your decision, depending on your situation and how much space you have to work with. If room sharing, I would make sure that there is a distance between the cribs so that they can’t reach each others’ cribs.

Which leads me to my next point. You may hesitate to have them room share because they may wake each other up. And that they WILL. They will cry and they will disturb each other at first but the more that happens, the faster they will get used to it. I live in a helicopter flight path. When we first moved in, I was often woken up by a helicopter flying over us and then would have to put myself back to sleep. Now, I can barely hear it when awake, let alone when asleep. Same goes for children who sleep in the same room with their siblings, whether that be twins or different aged siblings: They will get accustomed to each others’ noises and won’t even notice them after a while.

THE SCHEDULE

Keep them on the same schedule. This goes for both sleeping and feeding. Having them sleep and wake up at the same time will save you the insane exercise of counting wake windows separately for each baby.

Having said that, a 15-30 minute difference between their wake up and sleep time is Ok. You don’t have a million hands so it is impossible to do routines, feeds and all exactly at the same time. Start with one twin and follow with the other. It is quite alright if one is running slightly behind the other.

If you are wondering which twin to start with, I’ve got you! You may have noticed that one of your babes is more sensitive than the other, gets overtired before the other, and the slightest change in their routine really does a number on his or her nights. This is your sensitive sleeper. Start with them and work around their needs when determining schedules and routines. Your less sensitive sleeper will adjust.

THE ROUTINE

If you do not have help during the bedtime routine, invest in a bouncer or similar item where you can safely lay one of the babies while you feed, bathe, change or put the other baby to bed. This will save you the worry (and time) you will spend checking to make sure that your other baby has not moved around and is in fact, still safe.

Bath does not have to be part of the bedtime routine. There, I said it! Baths are a great start to the bedtime routine and even help our bodies prepare nicely for sleep but if its going to be stressful and time consuming, then no need. There are plenty of ways you can prepare your babies for bed without having to do a bath. I say that to my singleton families all the time but in the case of twins, it is an even more important reminder.

What worked for you? Help a new twin mama out...

Accommodating Your Children’s Sleep in Ramadan

Tue, 22 Mar 2022 10:06:00 GMT

Every year, the month of Ramadan reminds muslims all over the world to focus on the virtues of compassion, gratefulness, generosity, peace, piety, and kindness in general. It is also a month of celebration, family gatherings, late nights and shared meals. And the fact that we can only eat and drink after sunset means that most of us are usually up and active from Iftar time (sunset) until the wee hours of the morning, or Suhoor (sunrise).

How does this impact our children? This usually means that they are also up playing with friends and cousins, sharing meals with family and staying up late in the night as the adults relax from a day of fasting and prayer.

As we know, our sleep is governed by our biological clocks which are closely linked to sunlight and darkness. This means that children and adults alike are meant to be awake during the hours that the sun is up and are supposed to go to sleep when darkness sets in. When we keep our children up late at night, we create an imbalance in the hormones associated with the sleep and wake-up cycle (melatonin and cortisol), and this has a direct impact on the quality and quantity of sleep they get at night. Given that children need much more sleep than adults do, this hormonal imbalance invariably leads to tired and sleep-deprived children.

Thankfully, with a little flexibility and juggling of schedules, we can have a little bit of both: give our children the healthy sleep they need to be able to rest and function the next day, and enjoy our Ramadan evenings that we so look forward to from year to year. Here are a few ideas that can help you work around the different issues that may come up.

They are up so early!

Routines help children thrive and flourish. Maintaining a sleep routine that respects children’s biological sleep needs means that they should wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day. And with circadian rhythms being so dependent on sunlight, our children wake up earlier than suits us in Ramadan, especially if we have been up until Suhoor. For older children, set up constructive morning activities that they can do without much adult supervision. This will lower the pressure on the parents and keep the children engaged. For younger babes, this becomes a little more difficult since they rely so much more on their parents. Have the care providers take turns in doing morning duty. The week can be split between mom and dad and while one is entertaining baby, the other can sleep in!

Naps? What naps?

I’ll be the first to acknowledge that carving out nap time when your daily routine has changed can be difficult. And yet naps a vital tool through which younger children catch up on their sleep. So priortize naps and think about it as your own free time. I get so much work done when my kids are napping. I also get to catch up on TV time, prepare meals and even sneak in a nap sometimes!

I don’t have time for the early bedtime routine…

An early bedtime is one of the cornerstones of healthy sleep. The reason for this lies behind the way we sleep. We sleep in cycles made up of light, deep and REM portions. While each portion plays a role in nourishing our body and mind, it is during the deep sleep parts of the cycle that the body is physically restored. Cycles that happen prior to midnight are composed of the largest portions of deep sleep so in order for kids to obtain the most physically restorative sleep, they need to go to bed well before midnight.

At this time, parents all over the world will tell me: “but my kids’ usual early bedtime coincides with Iftar! I don’t have time to put them to bed!”. And: “I want to relax and enjoy my evening and I don’t want to have to worry about bedtime. The most enjoyable moments happen after Iftar anyways!” To all of this I say, when there is a will, there is a way. We just need to do a few creative schedule adjustments:

* Younger children can eat separately so you can move their bedtime to slightly before Iftar, allowing you to prepare for the meal without a child in tow.

* Enlist help so that father, nanny or grandmother can help with the children’s bedtime routine and put them to sleep. You can then come in to just give some good night hugs and kisses, giving you ample time to get the Iftar table ready..

* For older children, you can move their bedtime to slightly after Iftar so that they can enjoy the special meal with their family and go to bed close enough to their usual time.

* You can host meals at your house instead of going to friends’ houses so that your children can go to bed at an acceptable time.

* If eating out, change your baby or child into their pajamas at the end of the meal. That way, if they fall asleep on the ride back, you can transfer them into bed right away. If they wake up during the transfer, do the last 2 steps of their bedtime routine and put them in their crib/bed.

* Alternatively, when going to visit and share a meal with friends or family, you can take along a pack-n-play and identify the most conducive for sleep space for your children. Your children can start their night sleep there and you can move them home when you are ready to go.

We definitely do not have to be ruled by a strict schedule for our children’s sleep, but let’s remember that a sleep deprived child is terrible company. So why not find a compromise that allows us to both enjoy the much anticipated Ramadan traditions and allow our children to sleep when they need to!

Nap Transition Series: 4-3 Transition

Tue, 01 Mar 2022 08:50:57 GMT

So let’s start at the beginning, and lets be brutally honest, during the first 6-8 weeks, you have no idea how many naps your baby is taking. All you know is that they are sometimes sleeping and sometimes awake, with no rhyme or reason. As they approach 3 months though, things begin to feel more rhythmical and if you are paying attention to your baby’s cues, awake windows and not making bedtime too late, you will see that you can just about fit 4 naps into their day. This “schedule” can probably be your guide for a little while (not long) until baby’s sleep needs change and you are now looking to move them to 3 naps a day. So let’s see what that looks like.

The signs

Your baby is between 4-5 months of age
Naps 1 and 2 are consistently longer than 1 hours
Baby is refusing the 4th nap several times a week, for at least 2 weeks
Bedtime is way later than usual when you try to fit in the 4th nap

The transition

Remember that as you are removing one sleep period, this usually means that your babe will need to be awake a little longer than they used to so review their wake windows but keep a close eye on their sleep cues. Understanding your baby’s sleep cues will be the best tool you have to navigate this period. Read more about sleep cues here.

An earlier bedtime will most likely be needed as you go through this transition. Any missed sleep during the day can be made up for at bedtime and this will help you avoid having an overtired baby (and in turn causing night disturbances and early morning wakes).

Secrets of the 3 nap schedule

You might be surprised to know that each of the naps moving forward has a purpose so it is important to make time for each one and help baby sleep each accordingly. The first nap of the day, or the morning nap, is mentally restorative. The second nap of the day or the mid-day nap is physically restorative. This is also the nap that they will keep until they are are toddlers and preschoolers. The 3rd nap serves as a bridge to relieve some sleep pressure and help baby get to bedtime without being overtired. This nap is usually the shortest of the three.

A Sample 3 nap schedule

Wake up: Between 6 and 7 am

Nap 1: To start between 8:30 and 9 am

Nap 2: To start between 12 and 1 pm

Nap 3: To start between 3 and 4 pm

Bedtime: Between 6 and 8 pm

Once you have gone through the growing pains of transitioning to this schedule, you can enjoy it for a little bit. But don't get too comfortable, the next transition will be upon you before you know it!

Interview with a One2Sleep Family

Wed, 23 Feb 2022 10:01:41 GMT

I use this platform to talk a lot about sleep and I hope that you find it helpful to you and your family. In this blog post, I want you to see the ins and outs of working with me on a one-to-one basis and all the success we can accomplish when working together. Noor and her daughter Eliana joined the One2Sleep family a little over a year ago and I'm thrilled that Noor has agreed to share her story with you. You can find more about Noor here on her instagram page here .

Can you introduce us to your family?

We are a family of 3 and I’m a mother of a 2 year old daughter named Eliana.

What did your child's (and your) sleep look like before working with Lamis and what did you feel needed to change?

Eliana at the age of 1 had multiple wake ups, every 1-2 hours and needed to be carried and swayed to sleep every time. A stroller sometimes would have to be used to put her to sleep and then we would transfer her to the crib. The same would happen for her naps.

I needed Eliana to self soothe and be able to put her self to sleep without the interference of us as it was really draining me. She was becoming heavier and rocking her to sleep was starting to cause me back problems and of course I was sleep deprived.

What was the process of hiring and working with Lamis like?

Hiring and working with Lamis was the best! Before deciding if I should go ahead with sleep training, we had a consultation to better understand each other and Eliana's situation. After that, she recommended types of sleep training methods and that Eliana would have to be put on a schedule for 2 weeks and it was just a matter of when I should start and which sleep training method I should go for.

Lamis was very easy going and listened to all my concerns and asked me several times what type of method of sleep training I would like to go for as there are many and it depends on what the parents are comfortable with. After all was set, we started the sleep training journey together. Lamis was there every step of the way, guiding me and answering all the questions I would have. She was always reachable and answered my questions in full detail.

What does your child’s sleep look like now?

We accomplished so much in my daughters sleep in 2 weeks! I was so surprised! I couldn’t believe something like this could actually happen, my daughter finally slept through the night.

One year later, at 2 years old, my daughter is still able to put her self to sleep and sleeps through the night. Her naps are no longer an issue either, we went from fighting naps to sleeping a continuous 2 hour nap!

All in all, I could say with great confidence, Lamis and sleep training changed our families lives. A well rested baby is everything!

When is the perfect time to move my baby from a crib to a bed?

Thu, 17 Feb 2022 05:21:05 GMT

The transition of a baby from sleeping in a crib/cot to an actual bed with no bars is quite the milestone. And why shouldn't it be? Afterall, it’s one of those clear signals that your baby is no longer a “baby”. But as excited as you are to see your baby grow, I urge you to take a beat before making this particular decision. And you will see why as you go through this.

My eldest’s crib had a removable side. And as soon as he climbed out of his crib once (ONCE) I took it to mean he was ready for that side to come down. Mind you he was just about 18 months old. And for the next year or so, he woke up every night walked over to our room and finished the night in our bed. Needless to say, neither I nor my husband slept well that year. We began to miss those nights we slept all night long uninterrupted as a result of the sleep training we had done in my son’s early months. We ended up fixing the situation by going back to basics and a whole lot of incentives. Did I learn from that mistake, you ask? Why YES. My youngest stayed in his crib until he went to college! I’m kidding but he stayed in a crib until he was old enough to ask for a big boy bed. And there were never any night visits to our room. And even after transitioning to single bed, he requested a crib every time we were in a new sleep environment for the next 6 months or so (think hotels and grandparents’ house).

Why am I telling you this story? Because crib climbing is not necessarily a sign that baby is ready to move to a toddler or big bed. Your baby attempting to climb out of their crib is simply their way of practicing a new skill that they have acquired. And it is a total teaching moment and an opportunity for you to show them where climbing is ok and where it is not. Read more about crib climbing in this post: https://www.one2sleep.com/climbing-out-of-the-crib

"It takes maturity and readiness for your

baby to be able to move to a bed with no bars"

It takes maturity and readiness for your baby to be able to move to a bed with no bars. That crib and those bars have provided your baby a safe and contained sleep environment for months, hopefully years. In fact, I recommend that your baby stays in their crib until they are as close to three years of age as possible (or later if possible) . That’s because a baby under 3 years lacks the maturity and impulse control that will allow them to STAY in bed if they wake up at night. If your baby is too young, then the lack of bars will make it very difficult for them to stay in bed.

Is this rule absolute? Of course not. Just like anything when it comes to sleep, it is best to use your judgment. I have personally advocated to move a baby to a toddler bed earlier in one of two cases in the past:

Your baby has reached the crib’s size limit: check your crib to see the height and weight limits recommended.
Your baby continues to climb out of their crib: despite your best efforts to keep them in, and despite all the tricks and hacks, your baby continues to jump out of the crib making it unsafe for them as there is a high risk of injury.

Now that you know when, how do you actually move your baby to a bed after they have spent the last 3 years in the crib? How do you get them to accept the idea? Once again, preparation is key!

The bed : I say move straight to an actual single size bed. No need to buy a toddler bed only to have to buy a bigger bed in a couple of years. It just makes sense from a financial perspective. But I completely understand the lure of buying a car-shaped bed or the like for aesthetic reasons. Add a safety rail or bumper if you go for the big boy bed, just for the time they need to adjust to the lack of bars.

The room : Bolt all furniture to the wall and remove anything that can trip your babe should they get up at night and wander around. While I certainly hope you have done the prep work to help them stay in bed and that their sleep foundation is strong, we cannot discount that possibility.

The child : Help your child transition seamlessly by preparing them. Inform them of the upcoming change, involve them in setting up the room, choosing the bed and the new bedding. And help them understand that the sleep rules are still the same while carefully navigating not actually giving them the idea of getting out of bed at night. Meaning don't insert the idea in their head by saying something like: “Hey Adam, this is your new bed! you will sleep in it all night long and will not walk over to my room if you wake up at night!”

Sometimes, moving one child to a bed is not a choice but a necessity because we have another baby on the way that will need the crib. If this is the case, make sure you do it well before (at least 3 months) baby is born and that’s for a few reasons:

So that your older child does not feel displaced by their younger sibling. This might create extra jealousy in an already precarious situation.
So that you have the option to bring your child back to the crib should the transition not go as smoothly as expected.

** Bonus hack: As you begin to think about making this transition, introduce a toddler clock. Teach your child about when it is ok to wake up in the morning by using the clock while they are still in the crib. This will help you maintain the same rules once they are in the bed.

Wake Windows... What?

Thu, 03 Feb 2022 09:08:37 GMT

Perhaps the most covered sleep topic on the internet is the concept of wake window. I believe it is also the source of confusion and puzzlement for most parents as they try to calculate how long their baby has been awake and when should the naps be. I’ve had a mom once tell me that she needed a PhD in math to figure out her baby’s wake window. So let’s take a minute here and talk about these wake windows and why they are such a buzz word in the world of infant sleep.

A wake window is your child’s capacity to stay awake from the time they woke up until they need to sleep again. If we think in adult terms, our wake window is like 16 hours (give or take) and this means we can stay awake this long before we need to hit the sack. A baby’s wake window is significantly shorter. In fact, it starts super short in the first weeks of life and grows as baby grows until it reaches about 12 hours when baby (or big boy/girl) stops napping.

So why is this wake window so important. It all has to do with baby’s sleep pressure and circadian rhythms. At the beginning of a wake window, or when the baby first wakes up, the sleep pressure (or drive to sleep) is lowest. The body is doing what it needs to do to keep baby awake and everyone is happy. As the wake window progresses, the pressure mounts until it reaches its highest at the end of the window. This is also the time that the body starts getting ready for sleep, making it the easiest time for baby to fall asleep. If baby is awake past the wake window, we have now reached the oh-so-critical overtired state. This means that the pressure is super high but baby now thinks that he/she needs to stay awake and so their body switches to the awake processes, making it harder for them to fall asleep and stay asleep.

How do you know what the right window for your child is? Really depends on their age, the quality of their sleep, and their unique needs. You can look at your baby’s age appropriate range to get an idea of where you are supposed to be, but it is also important to take into account how much sleep your baby is getting and their very own sleepy cues that are telling you it is time to go to sleep.

Wake window ranges by age

0-2 months: 45 mins - 90 mins

3-5 months: 1.5 hrs - 2 hrs

6-9 months: 2 hrs - 3.5 hrs

10-12 months: 3.5 hrs - 4 hrs

12-18 months: 4 hrs - 5 hrs

18-24 months: 5 hrs - 6 hrs

When do you start counting the wake window? For kiddos younger than 5-6 months, you can count wake windows from the time they woke up. But if babe is older, you can count from your desired to wake time or the ideal time for them to get out of bed.

But counting wake windows can be exhausting and can sometimes downright feel constricting and confusing. These wake windows are supposed to make your life easier: help you decipher when to put baby down for nap the quickest (in and out). However, as baby gets older and gets to a more reliable 2 nap schedule, you can start fixing those times. We first start by defining the desired wake time in the morning: so then nap 1 start time will always be the same. Since the start of nap is predictable, you can decide on the length of that nap, fixing the second nap as well. You get the idea.

At the end of the day, wake windows are a tool to help you navigate your child’s sleep. but they should not be the only one used. As we have seen above, if used in conjunction with sleepy cues, they can prevent baby from being overtired. In addition, they can help you start setting a more reliable schedule as your baby grows and develops.

Sleep is not Linear

Wed, 26 Jan 2022 07:14:34 GMT

For most, the decision to sleep train stems from the lack of predictability in their children’s sleep. They are tired of the multiple night wakes and would really love to see their babes get more consolidated sleep. And so they expect that once they sleep train, it’s like taking a treatment, and their baby will sleep the same way every day after that, without any effort or consistency after the training period. They also expect that once a win is acquired, like baby slept through one night, that baby can do that every night thereafter. Unfortunately this is not the case. While the effort you put in in setting up a healthy sleep foundation for your baby will give you predictability, a baby that is well rested and can sleep on their own, it will not guarantee that your baby will sleep every night the same way. Because let’s face it, your baby is not a robot and will certainly experience days and nights that will feel and look different.

Much of children’s development is not linear

Just because your baby took their first step today doesn't mean they will be walking all the way to the bedroom tomorrow and then running a marathon the next day (exaggerate much?). In reality, they might take their first step days, even weeks before they are actually considered to be “walking”. The same holds true for sleep: just because they have done it once does not mean that this is the new normal. They need time to practice and perfect the skill.

It takes time and practice to change habits

During sleep training, many babies will see major improvements to their sleep for a few nights in a row. For some kiddos, this is enough time for them to learn the skill of self settling and will be able to do that every night from then on. but for most kids, 2 or 3 days is just not enough time for them to learn a new skill or undo a habit that they have had for the last 4, 6, 12 or 24 months. They say it takes 21 days to break a habit so why should we expect less of our children? Why should we expect them to master a skill in just 2 days when it takes us so much longer to learn anything? If they have shown great progress in the first few days, this shows us that they are capable and that we can be confident in their ability to change. If they experience a setback, we just have to give them more support and more opportunities to practice and know that they can do this with time.

It takes consistency and lifestyle changes to maintain the wins

On my wrap up call with my families and clients, I often tell them that they have successfully taken the first step in their lifestyle transformation. This is because sleep training is not a one and done thing. It is not a pill you take to fix sleep. It is a change in your and your babe’s lifestyle. it is your decision to put sleep first. This means that once you are done sleep training, you can’t stop offering naps or early bedtime. It does however mean that your baby is now getting all the sleep they need and that they don't need you to fall asleep so they are more flexible. You can now follow the 80/20 rule where we try to follow their schedule for 80% of the time so we can be a little more flexible for 20% of the time. But for the majority of the time, you are putting their sleep first.

Sleep needs and patterns change over time

It is important to remember also that sleep needs are not static. As the weeks, months and years go by, baby grows and develops. And so do his or her sleep needs. They might need slightly bigger awake windows, to drop a nap or to make bedtime a little later. They might also be teething or feeling unwell which will undoubtedly impact sleep. They will learn new things and become more aware of their environment which will require us to change strategy. Or they might travel or go through daylight savings time, wreaking havoc in their schedule. As you can see, life happens to our babies too and because of that, we can’t expect everyday and every night to look the same for them. I know my nights don’t always look the same.

Babies are not robots, much like we do, they may off some "off" days

So you can see here that our little ones are very much like us. With external and internal things that affect us physically and mentally and this in turn impacts sleep and other processes. Our babies may be tiny humans but they are humans, they are not robots and cannot be programmed to replicate every night the same way.

Should I Swaddle My Baby?

Mon, 06 Dec 2021 06:08:11 GMT

Swaddling is an age-old practice of wrapping baby in a cloth to contain them. There is evidence that babies as far back as Ancient Egypt (and even before that) were swaddled with cloth but the practice has evolved over the years and has gained and lost in popularity over time as we have learned more about infant development.

Swaddling is not just an aesthetic or convenient practice, it has some advantages in helping a newborn feel secure and sleep better. It recreates the environment of the womb as it keeps baby’s body cosy and contained. It helps them keep warm as babies are born without the ability to self regulate their body temperature. And it reduces the intensity of the Moro reflex, an involuntary response that newborns have for the first three or four months of life.

When experiencing the Moro reflex, babies will throw their arms and occasionally their legs out, in a jerky fashion. This will be followed by curling their arms and legs back towards their body. Some triggers for this reflex are loud noises, lights and sudden movements. And while the reflex itself is harmless, it can cause a baby to wake up from slumber. Containing the arms and legs in the swaddle reduces the intensity of the reflex thereby reducing the risk of waking baby up. If you have any questions about your infant’s Moro reflex, please reach out to your pediatrician or healthcare provider: they will have a treasure trove of information on the subject.

Today, it is recommended that, should you choose to swaddle your baby, make sure that you wrap them nice and cosy at the chest, but still be able to insert two or three fingers between your baby’s chest and the cloth. You should however, keep the swaddle loose around the hips to allow them to move their legs freely preventing an unnatural hip position that might have an impact on their hips and joints. You may keep the baby’s arms in, out or one in and one out of the swaddle, depending on your and your baby’s preference.

Alternatives to traditional swaddling such as the Swaddle Up from Love To Dream or the Ollie Swaddle allow you to either just zip baby up or use velcro in a pre-shaped swaddle instead of spending the time wrapping them.

Swaddling is only safe and recommended during the first 2-4 month of baby’s life. As soon as baby shows signs of rolling, they run the risk of getting the swaddle undone and getting tangled in it. You should stop swaddling them then. You can transition them out of swaddling either cold turkey, or gradually, by first freeing one arm for a few days then both for a few days and then switching to a sleep sack.

Did you find swaddling to be helpful for sleep?

All About Dream Feeds

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 05:29:24 GMT

What is a dream feed?

A dream feed, as the name implies, is the practice of giving your baby a feed right before you yourself go to bed, with the intent not to wake them up in the process. The objective is to top up their stomach right before you go to sleep thereby allowing you to have longer uninterrupted sleep in the first half of your night.

The term was first introduced in 2001 by Tracy Hogg in her book “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer”. It has since been widely used by parents all over the world, especially during the newborn stage.

To implement a dream feed, you can nurse or bottle-feed your baby every night at 10 or 11 pm, or right before you go to sleep. You pick up your baby without interrupting their sleep, bottle feed or nurse them, and put them right back in their crib, still asleep... in theory...

Does it actually work?

Evidence-wise, there is no substantial data correlating dream feeds to longer stretches of sleep. Anecdotally, however, the tales are many. But here is the thing, if your baby is indeed waking up right after you go to bed hungry, then it would make sense to pre-empt that wake up by feeding them before you sleep. That feed would probably be slightly earlier than they would wake up but it would at least guarantee you a solid stretch of sleep in the first half of your night. The half that contains the deepest, juiciest sleep. This especially true for newborns who need to feed often.

On the other side of the coin, as baby is capable of longer and longer stretches of sleep at night, the dream feed prevents us from knowing exactly what baby’s actual feeding needs are for the night. We are assuming that they would need a feed in the first half of the night when they might not. We are also creating a habitual top up at that time instead of listening to what their body needs and is capable of doing.

I did not know about the dream feed when my children were newborns but I’m curious to hear your experience. Did you practice dream feeding? Send me an email at lamis@one2sleep.com and let me know what effect it had on your little one.

Busting 5 Common Sleep Myths

Mon, 08 Nov 2021 07:37:35 GMT

Raise your hands if you’ve been asked if you’ve been asked if your baby was a “good sleeper”. Keep them up if you’ve been asked if they “slept through the night”… And keep them up if you answered no and somebody gave you unsolicited advice about how to achieve the holy grail of parenthood, or sleeping through the night. I’m sure that most of you had your hands up throughout the entire exercise. If you’ve been a mama for a hot second, you know that we need all the advice we can get, but only if we ask for it and ONLY if it is good or accurate advice. No unsolicited advice please, and definitely no second-source stories or how your second cousin once removed’s baby slept through the night from the day he became 6 months old.

I’ve seen and worked with enough babies to see that no baby is like the other, and no solution fits all. Each family has their own ways and their own systems and what works for one may not work for the other. But what I know for sure is that your baby’s sleep is not a reflection of your motherhood. You are not a “bad” mother because your baby is a “bad” sleeper. If those tags or adjectives can even ever be used (maybe a topic for another blog?).

I think an important part of being able to even be a parent is to have access to good reliable information. Knowledge empowers us to make good decisions.

Myth : Keep baby up during the day, they will sleep better at night

Fact : Naps are an important element of your baby’s sleep needs. A baby who does not nap properly during the day will most likely be awake for longer periods than they can tolerate and will not get the number of hours of sleep that they need. This means that baby will be overtired at bedtime, leading to fussiness, resistance to sleep and difficulty staying asleep.

Myth : They will sleep when they are tired

Fact : When babies are tired and sleep deprived, they will produce more cortisol than they need to which will make them more active and alert. This means that waiting for your baby to feel tired and decide to fall asleep, without providing them the opportunity to go to sleep will backfire.

Myth : Feed them formula or solids to sleep better

Fact : There is no evidence linking a heavier/certain type of feed will guarantee that your baby will sleep better. It is important that your baby gets the appropriate calorie intake in order to feel full but that does not have to be concentrated right before bed, it can be evenly spread out throughout the day. And the kind of feeding will depend on their age and developmental needs. But feeding a baby a heavy meal right before going to bed will likely cause more harm than good as baby’s digestive system will be working hard at processing that food intake which will likely interrupt their sleep. Imagine eating a double portion of your usual meals right before dozing off. What will that do to your sleep?

Myth : Don’t let your baby get used to sleeping in your arms

Fact : Newborns need their parents’ help to navigate the world. They need help to feed, stay clean and warm, they also need help to sleep. As they grow, they develop the capacity to learn to sleep and you can do that should you wish to. But rocking/holding/feeding to sleep are perfectly good ways to put baby to sleep as long as it is making you and baby happy.

Myth : Your baby will outgrow this

Fact : There is no certain age by which all babies learn to sleep through the night. Some will come to it when certain conditions are met and others will not. Of course, certain developmental prerequisites are needed to help baby do that but there is no particular age at which your baby will definitely sleep better.

What to do about sleep when baby is unwell

Mon, 01 Nov 2021 07:29:14 GMT

Your guide to your baby's sleep when they are sick.

Written by: Lamis Benjelloun

'Tis the season for the common flu, colds and runny noses and unfortunately, kiddos are prime targets of these nasty bugs. So what should you do about your baby's sleep if they are unwell? Read on for some tips.

The first thing we have to establish is that adequate sleep is vital for a well functioning immune system. When your babe is unwell, they need, more than ever, SLEEP. So before you decide on where and how they will sleep, keep in mind to offer them more sleep even if it strays from your usual schedule.

I’ll also take this opportunity to remind you that I am not a doctor or healthcare professional. I urge to seek the advice of your healthcare practitioner if you suspect that you child is unwell. His advice and recommendations are what should be followed to help your child overcome their illness.

Now onto the issues at hand. You might be worried that your child’s sleep skills seem to be failing them. They might be waking up uncharacteristically in the middle of the night or having a hard time falling asleep after their bedtime routine. These can all happen as kiddos struggle with a spike in fever, pain from inflammation or congestion.

Unwell babies, much like grown ups, need a little extra love and care. This may mean extra snuggles or contact naps when your babe is used to napping in their crib. Whatever is making them unwell may also be making it difficult to fall or stay asleep. Be flexible with their sleep and try the following :

Try to maintain their bedtime routine

Some children are able to continue to adhere to their routine even when ill. However if you feel like they need extra assistance, feel free to offer it with the knowledge that there is nothing you can do now (in terms of new habits) that you cant undo later.

No need to maintain a schedule

Don’t feel like you have to stick to your schedule during an illness. Your child is likely to need more sleep than usual so let them sleep when they feel like it.

Decide where your boundary is, for both you and your babe

For many of us, we feel most comfortable sleeping and resting in the space we are accustomed to. And children are no different. So before you take baby into your own bed, attempt to help them in their room.

Back to basics

And remember to go back to basics as soon as they are feeling better. Some kids will make that transition quite easily, others might need a reminder of their routine and the sleep rules. In most cases, you can use the same sleep training method you used in the past. I can hear you freaking out but don't ! You are not actually reteaching your child how to sleep independently, they already have that skill. You are merely reminding them of their old routine so the retraining should be significantly easier.

Baby Waking Up at Night? Check this out...

Mon, 18 Oct 2021 06:56:44 GMT

Some questions to ask regarding night wakes.

Written by Lamis Benjelloun

Sleeping through the night may be the holy grail of parenthood but is it really real ? Can our kids actually sleep from the moment that they put their heads down on the pillow until they wake up in the morning ?

The truth is, no one really sleeps through the night. We all experience night wakings but rarely ever remember them. This is due to the way our sleep is composed. From the moment we lay down, we start moving through sleep cycles. Several of them. And these cycles themselves are made up of different periods of light sleep, deep sleep and REM sleep (Rapid Eye Movement). So even as we are sleeping through just ONE cycle, we can have different states of alertness and sleep. The same goes for our babies. So what do we really mean when we say a baby sleeps or doesn’t sleep through the night. This is an important distinction to make because a baby that is experiencing a slight arousal at the end of a sleep cycle does not equate one that is experiencing night wakes that interrupt their own sleep as well as that of their parents.

Today we talk about those night wakes that last longer than a few seconds. There is a number of reasons why they happen and we will explore them together. At the end of reading this, you will hopefully have a checklist that will help you find out why your baby is waking up so much at night.

Where is your child, developmentally?

The first important question we have to ask, if your baby is waking up at night is : is it expected. Babies under the age of 4 months are not developmentally ready to sleep through the night without assistance. This means that they will be up several times at night and will require help from you to go back to sleep. In addition, their circadian rhythms are also not developed yet so their cycles are different to ours : they spend a large portion of their time asleep in what is called “active sleep”. During this time, babies have been known to move, grunt, whimper and cry. So while we may feel like they are awake, they are in fact sleeping and our need to go help them may be the cause for an actual wake up. So the next time you are woken up by a stirring newborn, consider swaddling them and using white noise. Containing them in a cosy swaddle may reduce how much flailing happens in the middle of the night.

Is he or she hungry?

We often default to thinking that every time our baby wakes up at night, it must be because they are hungry. And this is true at first : newborns have immature digestive systems and therefore require frequent feedings, even in the middle of the night. But as they get older, so do their little tummies, which means that they can last longer without a feed. What ends up happening though is that baby gets accustomed to being fed every time they stir at night and come to expect it, even if they are not hungry. This is why I encourage parents to attentively listen to their babies at night : why is baby calling for me at 2 am : is it time for their feed ? Do they need a diaper change ? Or do they just need my comforting touch ?

Medical causes behind night wakes?

Believe it or not, not all night wakes are caused by hunger or habit. Sometimes, there are medical conditions that may waken our little ones. The common flu, teething or any number of discomforts can disturb baby’s sleep but sometimes, less common conditions may be the culprit. Reflux, Eczema and Obstructive Sleep Apnea are ones that come to mind right away but always approach your pediatrician to check that your baby is clear of physical reasons behind their night wakes.

Environmental interruptions?

Where we sleep matters. Light, temperature, sounds, all of these things affect our sleep and they affect our little ones sleep as well. If we promote an environment that is most helpful to our babies’ sleep, they will not be unnecessarily woken up by a chirping bird, a sibling’s trip to the potty, a flickering light from the monitor or a change in temperature in the middle of the night.

Schedule adjustments?

The timing and length of naps, as well as the timing of bedtime are prime indicators of the quality of your night sleep. As you have probably heard before, these three elements can determine whether your child is undertired, overtired or “just right”. Unfortunately for us, both an undertired child and an overtired child will experience night wakes. So perhaps the most important place to look at when evaluating your baby’s night sleep is their daytime sleep.

Where are they falling asleep?

“Most children will sleep well only if there are no surprises, no changes after they sleep, and no need for them to check where they are and where their parents are every time they stir.” – Richard Ferber

This means that baby needs to fall asleep in the same place they wake up, otherwise, they become alarmed and a slight arousal turns into a full wake up. So a baby who falls asleep in mom’s arms will be confused when they find themselves in their crib in the middle of the night. When placing baby in the crib awake and aware of their sleep location, they will be able to situate themselves if they have a night wake and be less alarmed.

I hope this helps you figure out whether your child’s night wakes are normal or not… and if they are not, that you know where to start to fix them.

But first, safety!

Mon, 04 Oct 2021 14:58:00 GMT

Five simple steps to reduce the risk of SIDS

Since the month of October is SIDS awareness month, I thought we could talk about infant safety. As parents we have all heard about SIDS, and all don’t want to have to think about it. But for parents of children under 12 months of age, this is an important topic. I remember as a first time mom, I did everything I “thought” I was supposed to do to protect my baby:

I knew that babies ran the risk of suffocation so I made sure that there was nothing near his face… there was definitely a blanket though: surely my baby needed it to stay warm.

I knew bumpers were not recommended so I opted for mesh bumpers… they are breathable so they would be a good option to keep him from getting his hands and feet stuck between the rails.

I knew baby needed to sleep alone but I added an inclined pillow and positioners: he cried so much at first I thought inclining him would reduce any reflux and the positions would keep him cosy in such a big bed.

I knew that baby had to sleepover in the crib but on difficult, sleepless nights, he spent quite a bit of the night in our bed: in the middle of the night and in my sleepless haze, it was just easier that way.

What I didn’t know is that, despite my best efforts, these choices would have still put my baby at risk of SIDS, or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. He has made it through that first year without any accidents but if I knew better, I could have done better! While we cannot control all the SIDS risk factors, we can control the environmental ones that may cause accidental entrapment, suffocation or choking. And this is why I want to share this post here. I am not here to judge or shame you, I am only here to give you the recommendations that can help you make more informed choices than I did. You will find below some simple changes you can bring to your baby’s nursery during the first 12 months of their life to make it safer:

Strip the Crib

You can go ahead and get rid of all bumpers, blankets or teddies that are in bed with your baby. While a beautifully decorated nursery can be most adorable, the items se use to decorate all present a suffocation risk and their dangers far outweigh their benefits. A fitted sheet on a flat, firm surface will suffice. If you are worried about how to keep your baby warm, swaddle them for the first few months or use sleepsack that is the right size for them. They are the safest way for baby to stay cozy.

Always Lay Baby in a Space Made for Sleeping

Whether it is for a nap or night sleep, a baby under 12 months of age should always sleep in a crib, bassinet or pack-n-play. Though roomsharing until minimum 6 months has been proven to reduce the risk of SIDS, bed-sharing is strongly not recommended. An adult bed, siblings’ bed, couch or any other space you are using as a sleep space but that is not made for this purpose is dangerous, no matter how short the sleep is.

Get Rid of Gadgets

There are many products that are marketed as ways to reduce SIDS or help babies sleep longer and better. This is simply not true. As mentioned above, a baby is safest alone on a flat surface. No need to invest positioners, pillows, nests, loungers or even mobiles. Keep all wiring from monitors far away from baby as well. All these extras will do more harm that good. If your baby needs help sleeping, help them acquire the skills to do so independently!

Lay Baby on his or her Back

Always lay babies on their back as this has been proven to have an important impact in reducing the incidence of SIDS. If your baby can roll over both ways, he/she may choose to sleep on their tummy. It is recommended to still lay them on their back but you do not have to continuously turn them over if they choose a different sleeping position. In the meantime, practice, practice, practice their tummy time exercises to help them master the turning over skill and ensure their safety.

Make the Environment Safe

Keep the room temperature cool to avoid overheating. This also helps baby fall asleep as a cooler room is more conducive to sleep. Do not smoke or drink around your baby. Breastfeeding, vaccinating and the use of pacifiers have also been strongly linked to SIDS prevention.

The recommendations here are for parents of infants under 1 year old. You are the best parent for your child and your choices are the best ones for your babe but know that these simple changes can make your baby’s sleep space so much safer.

How to Reduce Bedtime Battles

Mon, 30 Aug 2021 07:06:00 GMT

5 Tools for a smoother bedtime

Written by: Lamis Benjelloun

Familiar ? That’s the sound of a child resisting bedtime. And children are experts at finding an excuse not to go to sleep. Whether that’s a trip to the bathroom, an extra hug or a late night snack, children know what to say to extend bedtime. A request every now and then is not a big deal but when it’s several requests a night, it can become difficult. And in the long term, these requests can threaten the reasonably timed bedtime that children really need.

So how can we keep these requests in check? I’ve listed some tools below. Some of these work in combination with one another, while others can be substituted for each other: it all depends on your child, what they are struggling with, and what they respond well to.

Tool #1: Rest

Reducing or eliminating bedtime battles is a lot about setting boundaries and routines and consistently sticking to them. But for your child to respect those boundaries, not only do they have to understand them but they have to be willing to respect them. And that willingness is strongest when your child is not overtired. An overtired child will resist sleep so hard that any excuse to not sleep is a good one. So prevent those battles altogether by making sure your little ones are napping when they need to and for the length of time that will help them feel fully rested.

Tool #2: The Family Meeting

Those boundaries we just talked about : well we need a forum through which we communicate them to our kiddos. Family meetings are a great tool for that. Sit down with your children and discuss the importance of sleep. Talk to them about your family routines and what each family member is expected to do during sleep time. Make sure your use age appropriate language to really drive your message across.

Tool #3: The Routine/Rules chart

Rules charts are great additions to the family meeting. You can make it with your children once you have established your routines and boundaries. Be specific in your description so they know what to expect. For example: “In our family, web rush our teeth, go potty, read 3 stories and turn the lights out. We then stay in bed all night until the clock turns green.”

Depending on your preferences and what your children like, these rules and routines can be in the format of a poster, a reward chart, a booklet, cards or anything that you know your children will enjoy. Let them color and decorate the chart and put it up in their room as a reminder.

Tool #4: The Timer

Since kids don’t actually have a concept of time, using a timer helps to show them the start and end of each part of the routine. This eases the transition from one activity to another and removes the burden on the parents so that they are not the ones to end reading and rush to the next item on the list. The child already knows as the timer gave him or her the heads up.

Start using the timer during the day for some fun activities. Show your children how it works and let them set it. As the end of the activity approaches, draw your children’s attention to the timer. Once your kiddos are familiar with it, start using it during the bedtime routine.

Tool #5: Bedtime Pass

If your toddler is the master of night time requests, then the bedtime pass is the tool for you. It basically allows you to give in to some of your child’s requests, while maintaining control over how many. Make some passes for his or her most common requests, decide how many they get each night and hand them over to them at bedtime. Every time they ask for a glass of water, they have to hand over one of their passes. Once they are out of passes, their “asks” will have to wait until the next day. This way, the requests are not limitless.

What’s your child most common bedtime request? If you feel like it’s a battle to get your kiddo to bed every night, send me an email at lamis@one2sleep.com so I can share some of these tools with you.

Let’s Go Back to School

Mon, 23 Aug 2021 06:03:00 GMT

A quick summary of what you need to know!

Written by Lamis Benjelloun

The last week of summer vacation is a great time to fit in those doctors’ appointments you’ve been postponing all summer and get all the back to school shopping – backpacks, lunchboxes, supplies, uniforms… It is also a good time to return to that routine your family may have strayed away from during the break. If your family is anything like mine, your bedtime may have slid later and later as the summer progressed and now you ask yourself, how did we get here? And how do I get my kiddos ready to wake up early for school?

I’ve got you mama… here are a few things you can do this week.

The return of the nap

If naps have been more of a rare occurrence rather than a routine for your pre-schooler this summer, that’s ok! It happens to the best of us. But that doesn’t mean we can’t double up the effort to bring it back to its usual time right before we go back to school. I’ll never say this enough, a well rested child is just more likely to adapt and adjust so make sure they get some extra snooze time to make up for any sleep debt they may have acquired over the break.

Adjusting to a different nap schedule

Nap time at nursery or daycare may not look exactly like nap time at home. The staff may be capping the naps and waking all the kids at the same time, making the nap shorter at daycare than it is at home. Naps at nursery may be starting earlier or later than they are at home. Or worse, your child’s class may not be offering them naps at all. And while I would encourage you to get in touch with your child’s school to discuss your nap preferences, in many cases, preschools are reluctant to have customized nap times as that requires different staff allocations and extra supervision times.

So here is what you can do: you can make up for missing sleep during your child’s day at bedtime. You can also continue to offer them the schedule you know meets their needs on weekends. This will help them catch up on sleep

Moving back bedtime

We’ve all been there, we begin the vacation with every intention to keep bedtime the same but by the end of the holidays, bedtime is way later than usual. Decide on the ideal bedtime for your child depending on their age and what time they have to wake up in the morning. And take a few days before back to school to slowly move back bedtime. This can be done through adjustments of 15-30 minutes every few days until you get to your preferred time!

Screen time

Screen time is another thing that naturally slips out of control during the holiday. Now is the time to set some limits and end all screen time one to two hours before bedtime. Not only have the lights emitted from said screens been known to suppress the production of the sleep hormones, they also tend to be quite stimulating, making bedtime harder

Emotional adjustment

Going back to school can be emotionally and physically exhausting for our kiddos. They get so much more done during the day at school which means an unusual rise in activity level. And if your baby will be going to school or daycare for the first time this year, it can also emotionally taxing as they spend a significant amount of time away from parents and adjust to the different environment. Don’t shoot the messenger but here it goes: early bedtime is best to help them navigate this emotionally and physically charged time.

It becomes clear, as you read this, that I am a firm believer that back to school = early bedtime. This not only helps them prepare for an early wake up, it also helps them adjust to all things that school brings their way (different nap schedules, rise in activity levels and emotional adjustments). What’s your take on back to school? Is making bedtime earlier a priority for your family?

Why Are We Up So Early?

Tue, 06 Jul 2021 12:16:00 GMT

Troubleshooting those early morning wake ups

Written by: Lamis Benjelloun

Any mama out there can tell you that she can get more done before 9 am than anyone else can in a whole day. Babies wake up so early and cause us to start our days much earlier than we used to pre-kids. And what we wouldn’t do for just another 30 minutes of sleep!

Children’s sleep is influenced by their circadian rhythms, which are in turn influenced by light and darkness (ie sunrise and sunset). This means that a normal wake up for children is usually between 6 and 8 am. Yikes, that is super early! But some mamas have kiddos that wake up even before that, and in my books as a sleep consultant, any wake up prior to 6 am is considered an early wake. And that is something we can work on to improve, should you want to.

Ok so your child is waking up at 5:30 am on the dot and you have tried everything and its not working, what can you do? You can begin by asking yourself the following questions (full disclosure, these are the exact questions I ask the families I work with when working to fix early wake ups) :

Lights and sounds

This is probably the first place I check. Does anything change in your child’s sleep environment in the early hours of the day? Neighbors waking up? Birds chirping outside? Cars on the move? Small light ray sneaking into the room in between the curtain and the window?

Any of these can wake your baby up and because the drive to sleep is so low at that point and “it looks to them” that its daytime (not as dark as middle of the night) they assume that it’s Ok to wake up then.

The next time your baby wakes up really early, do a quick scan of their room and see if any external sounds or lights are coming in.

Naps and Bedtime (Part one)

Next, let’s talk about your child’s schedule. Are they taking the right number of naps? Are the naps happening at the time they most need them? Are they long enough to satisfy their daytime sleep needs? Is that last wake window in line with what they can tolerate so that bedtime is age appropriate?

If you haven’t guessed where I’m going with this, I’m trying to figure out if your baby is overtired. And this is probably the most common reason for early wake ups and perhaps the one thing that most parents I speak with initially disagree with. The truth is most babies wake up early because they are overtired and need more sleep. So move bedtime earlier for like 5 or 6 days, you will see that morning wake up getting later.

Naps and bedtime (Part two)

There is a flipside to this. Say your child has a great sleep foundation, has an appropriate nap schedule, satisfies their daytime sleep needs and goes to bed early, only to wake up 11-12 hours after bedtime at 5:30 am. In this case, your baby could use a slight schedule revision in order to slide wake up time a little later.

Wet diapers/bowel movement

Is your baby waking up because they are uncomfortable in a dirty diaper? Those early morning poos can be rough to handle. Attempt to load your kiddos on their fruits and veggies earlier rather than later in the day in order to change their “bathroom break”.

Hunger

Is your baby waking up because they are hungry? Make sure your baby has a proper dinner before going to bed so that they can sleep through with no problem.

What they look forward to when they wake up

And last but not least, what is your baby looking forward to when they wake up in the morning? Do they get to come into your bed? Nurse? Have a bottle? Watch TV while you catch a few minutes of extra sleep? Believe it or not, these are all things that can get your child excited at the prospect of waking up in the morning so as soon as they can, they will fully wake up! Many years ago, my son was waking up earlier than I liked so I told him he can watch TV in the morning. What started off as a 7 am wake up, over the days, got earlier and earlier until we were up before 6 am to watch TV. When I realized what was happening, we changed our morning routine and eventually came back to where we started.

What time is your child waking up in the morning? If it is too early, go through the questions to find the culprit and let me know what worked!

With Child, Will not Travel!

Mon, 28 Jun 2021 06:58:00 GMT

Unveiling the secrets to a “sleep-full” vacation

Written by: Lamis Benjelloun

Summer is here and schools are out, or almost depending on where in the world you are. And unlike last summer, more people are planning to travel this year. As a result, I’ve been getting a lot of messages saying: “Help! I’m worried about messing up my baby’s naps if I travel! What do I do?”

Below you will find “before/during/after” notes to help you prepare for and enjoy your trip with your children.

The Planning

Packing… When it comes to sleep, it is best to be well prepared. Pack as much of their sleep routine and environment as you can. This means any and all of the following: portable blackout curtains, white noise machines, toddler clocks, sleep sacks, blankies, loveys, swaddles, storybooks and even gently used bed sheets. Also remember to take a strollers and/or carriers for possible naps on the go.

Prepare … If you are traveling with your own pack-n-play, bring it out a few days before the trip and have baby sleep in it at least once a day to get them used to it.

Rest … A well-rested child is much more flexible so plan to offer your baby extra sleep even before you embark on the trip.

Adjust … If you are traveling across a time zone or two and would like to adjust prior to the trip, start a few days before by delaying or bringing up bedtime and wake up time. See this older post for more details.

The Execution

Transportation… Whenever possible, try to book traveling so that you arrive at your destination prior to bedtime, giving your child time to adjust to the new space. If traveling by car with a child that is taking 2 naps, plan your trip around the second nap so that you can guarantee at least one good nap at home. If on a one nap schedule, plan the trip to start a little before the nap. If traveling by plane, the sound of the engine acts as great white noise and will usually help lull baby right to sleep.

Setting up … Try to recreate an environment that is similar enough to your child’s current sleep environment. If you have to share a room during the trip and you usually don’t at home, get creative in adding space, and possibly furniture, between your bed and your child’s. Use blackout curtains to ensure the darkness level required and a white noise machine to ensure a constant sound level. But don’t fret. If you don’t have any portable curtains or maybe you forgot them, a roll of packing tape with some construction paper (or black trash bags or aluminum foil) can do the trick! You can also find hours of white noise through a simple internet search.

Routine… Stick to the main backbone of your routine. Read a book, physically and mentally prepare for bed as you would at home so that your child can recognize when bedtime is coming.

Jet Lag … If you have not prepared for jet lag prior to departure, it’s OK. Adopt your destination time zone as soon as you arrive and expose your children to the outdoor and sunshine in the morning to help reset their circadian rhythms. See this older post for more details.

80/20 Rule… The most common concern when it comes to traveling with kiddos is how to preserve their naps without ruining everybody’s day out. For this, I want you to act in moderation, because remember, a tired child is a lousy travel companion. If you follow your child’s schedule 80% of the time, you can mess with it 20% of the time! But simply put, if you know that you will be up late for a dinner, make sure you offer at least one good nap that day. Or if you have to skip naps because you have a daytrip planned, you can aim for an early bedtime. Keep an eye on your child’s mood and if you see that they are particularly irritable, offer them an early bedtime that day or a good nap the next. Remember all that talk about moderation?

Naps on the go … Speaking of moderation, use naps on the go to your advantage. Take them for a long (boring) walk in their stroller or carrier to help them doze off if you are out an about during the day. A nap on the go may not be as restorative to your child as a crib or cot nap but it does go a long way in relieving sleep pressure.

The Aftermath

REST … When you come back home, plan to spend some time recuperating and recovering. Offer as many naps at home as possible and stick to early bedtime.

Back to Basics … Your child may or may not have picked up some new habits on the trip but if your child already has a good sleep foundation, they will be back to their routines in no time. Always remember to go back to basics and ask yourself:

* Is the environment dark, cool and quiet?
* What changed in the routine during the trip and how can we go back to the way things were?
* Is the schedule meeting the demands of my child’s age? Has he or she been awake longer than they can tolerate? Do they need a bit of a longer sleep window?
* Did they get enough sleep in the last 24 hours?

Are you traveling this summer? Share your packing checklist for your child’s sleep!

Working with Dad

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 05:20:00 GMT

How having a team is always a good idea

Written by: Lamis Benjelloun

I often get to work with moms. They are the ones who bear the brunt of the sleep issues that their babies are experiencing and they are the ones that feel the need to make a change. And when I hear from their supporting spouses, they are usually and understandably apprehensive but also very concerned about helping both their baby and their spouse get more sleep. But from time to time, I get a father who is super involved and dead set on bringing sleep changes to their home. In the last couple of years, I have watched numerous families make significant changes to their life by bringing healthy sleep habits to their babies, but here is how working with an involved dad looks different:

Four ears are better than two

Having a team of two, mom and dad, is not always possible but usually makes the process easier than working solo. First of all, when both parents attend the consultation, there is a deeper understanding of the process and plan. This idea is kind of self evident as whatever mom may miss or misunderstand, dad can get and vice versa.

Less risk of sabotage

When everybody is on the same page, both parents are working towards the same goal that they have set together. They agree on the plan together, understand the challenges they may face and have a common goal to work for. This not only holds them accountable to one another, it increases the chances of success. When both mom and dad agree, there is less chance that one parent will undermine or sabotage the hard work that the other parent it doing.

Support system

Let’s be honest here, sleep training is hard. In fact, making any changes to your routine with baby is hard. There will be many victories along the way but there will also be many difficult times and many moments of doubt. Working as a team, you can support each other through it all. You can celebrate together. You can also help each other when things are hard and remind each other of why you are doing all of this.

And sometimes, babe sleeps better when dad does bedtime…

There! I said it! Babes, especially breastfed ones, generally sleep better when dad does bedtime. I believe the “secret” that everyone knows here is that dads can’t breastfeed. You know it, I know it, dad knows it, and most importantly BABY knows it. And this can work to your advantage! When baby wakes up to nurse, mom can breastfeed and then had over to dad to settle them back to sleep. This helps immensely when you are either trying to prevent any sleep associations or trying to eliminate them.

I have come across enough families to understand that it is not always easy or even possible to have both mom and dad be involved at bedtime. But when it is possible, having a team does have its advantages. What does bedtime look like in your family?

Climbing out of the Crib

Mon, 07 Jun 2021 07:38:00 GMT

Hacks to end your child’s attempt to climb out of their cribs

Written by Lamis Benjelloun

Imagine this: you put your little one in their crib just like you do every night but the next thing you know, they are standing next to you in the living room. How on earth did they get out of that crib? Is he or she a gymnast in bed? Can you see that they might have a future in mountain or rock climbing?

Has this ever happened to you?

The first time my son climbed out of his crib, I felt many things. I was confused: how did he do that? I was a tiny bit proud: he can climb? And then I got worried: crib climbing can be dangerous. He could have fallen on his way down. He could have gotten stuck. He could have tripped over something in the hallway. Cribs are a safe space for your baby to sleep so we don’t want them climbing over the rails and attempting a gymnastic feat!

Crib climbing also leads parents to pre-maturely move their toddlers into beds. Worried about the safety of their little ones, parents will often decide to move their babes into big boy or big girl beds to avoid climbing accidents. Unfortunately, children under the age of three lack the maturity and impulse control to stay in their bed so once the rails are gone, there is nothing really to keep them in bed. That early transition invites a host of other sleep issues such as early wakings, night wakings and visits, resistance to bedtime, etc.

If your child is climbing their crib, it is best to catch it early for your best chance to dissuade them. Below are some hacks to help:

Catch them red-handed

If you know that your child is likely to climb their crib, watch them on the monitor or at the door to their room and at the first sign of climbing, use a firm no to let them know that this is not safe.

Remove things they can use as props

Make climbing harder for your toddler by making sure that the mattress is at the lowest setting as per the manufacturer’s instructions. Also remove bumbers or pillows that baby can prop themselves on to make the climbing easier, as well as any stools they may be landing on.

Do not, under any circumstance, lower the crib mattress all the way to the floor. This will create an unsafe environment for baby.

Flip that bed around

If the crib has one higher side than the other, flip the bed around so that the lower side is against the wall and the higher side is in the middle of the room. The higher side will be more difficult to climb.

Sleep sack for the win

A baby in a sleep sack will have a harder time to climb. If your child can remove their sleep sack on their own, put it on backwards or inside out to make their job a little more difficult.

Did your child attempt to climb out of their crib? If so, have you used any of the tricks above? Did it work?

Should I Ever Wake my Sleeping Baby ?

Tue, 01 Jun 2021 08:21:00 GMT

Answering the question on every parent’s mind

Written by : Lamis Benjelloun

How many of you have been told to never wake a sleeping baby ? Or more accurately, how many times have you thought about NOT waking your baby ? Afterall, it takes so much work to put them to sleep, why on earth would we want to wake them up ? In most cases, you would be right, there is usually no need to wake a sleeping baby, but here are 5 cases in which you should, in fact, wake your baby from a snooze :

The cases above all share a similar characteristic: we wake baby up if and only if the extra sleep will cause a problem. So for the majority of you reading this, you probably should let you baby sleep. But if you think that your baby might be in one of the situations above, shoot me an email (unless of course you find yourself needing to wake your baby up for feeding purposes, in which case you should definitely follow your paediatrician’s advice!)

In Your Sleep Toolbox : The Quiet Time Box

Tue, 25 May 2021 07:18:00 GMT

How and what to do during quiet time

Written by: Lamis Benjelloun

I always had a complicated relationship with naps. I loved that I could predictably plan to have some kid-free time when my kids were napping but I also hated that they almost always were timed at exactly when everyone else wanted to hang out. No we can’t come to lunch because my son is napping. No we can’t do swim lessons because its nap time. But when my youngest was ready to stop napping, I definitely wasn’t ready to lose that solid 90 minutes of uninterrupted me time.

But I also knew that his body was not ready to just keep going for 12 hours until bedtime. He needed time to rest and so do most kiddos. So we replaced nap time with quiet time. Quiet time is 60-90 minutes of your child’s day, usually around midday, where your child is doing activities that do not require much physical effort. It is basically a good time for your child to rest and recharge to be able to tackle the rest of the day.

Here are a few steps to help you implement quiet time in your house :

Pick the time of day

An easy way to do this is to just use the time that used to be nap time. Right around mid-day, maybe after lunch. Most kids will have difficulty just sitting in one place for a long time so start small and work your way up. For example, you can do 20 minutes of quiet time for the first few days and then gradually increase it to 60 or 90 minutes.

Dedicate a space for quiet time

Making quiet time location-specific makes it special and easy for your child to adopt the concept. It can be a special tent, a corner of his room or a special couch. Close the curtains a little to slightly dim the general room light and make the environment relaxing. This means no tv’s or tablets because although no physical effort is required in watching tv, the content children usually watch tends to be stimulating.

Make a quiet time box

Children are more likely to agree to quiet time if they have something to look forward to during that time. Take a shoe box or a storage bin and call it the “Quiet Time Box.” Involve your child in the project of choosing activities that they can put in the box and only use during quiet time. Let them decorate the box the way they choose as well. This will not only get them excited about the concept, it will also help give them ownership of the process.

Put away the quiet time box at the end of every quiet time.

Change the activities inside every few weeks.

What can you include in your box, you may ask. Any activity that they would enjoy doing without running around basically… This can include (but not limited to) :

Do you do quiet time in your house? What kind of activities do your children enjoy during that time?

Siblings Sharing a Room: FAQ

Sun, 02 May 2021 09:46:00 GMT

Answers to some common questions to successfully help your children share a room.

Written by Lamis Benjelloun

Thinking about having your kiddos share a room? Here are some answers to the most frequently asked questions on the topic.

Is it recommended?

Whether siblings get to share a room or sleep in their own room depends on a lot of factors. There is the more obvious space factor: do you have enough rooms in your house to have each of your children sleeping in their own room? And then there are the more subtle emotional reasons, for example, I enjoyed room sharing with my brother so I would love for my kids to have the same experience.

From a safety perspective, its important to remember that for the first year of baby’s life, it is recommended that they sleep in a crib, alone, and on their back, so be wary of older sibling trying to get into baby’s crib if your baby is under 12 months old.

When should I do it?

There is no magical time where room sharing is easiest. Other than the safety issue mentioned above, it really depends on when you are ready to have them in the same space.

Here is the “One 2 Sleep recommendation” though: Wait until your littlest one is a solid sleeper before you move them to their older sibling’s room. If your baby is waking up multiple times crying at night, it is most likely going to disturb big brother or big sister’s sleep.

What steps should I take?

Clearly inform and communicate with both kids about the transition. Use age appropriate language and get them excited about the move. If they are old enough, they can help choose the bedding and be involved in the set up of the room. The hosting sibling can choose where he or she would like to keep their bed and where they would like their sibling to be. Remember to also talk about any changes to the routine they should expect when brother or sister joins them.

Do they have to go to bed at the same time?

If your children go to bed at the same time, you can do a joint bedtime routine and lights out at the same time. This is usually the case with kids closer in age.

If the bedtimes are different, do not attempt to delay one’s bedtime to match the other. Honor each child’s needs and stagger their bedtimes. You can keep a core part of the bedtime routine that you all do together as a family, and then separate the last few steps : big brother can continue reading in the living room while mom or dad can tuck little sister in and say good night.

Will they never sleep because they are in the same room ?

That’s a very good question, one that’s probably keeping you from putting your kids in the same room already. Will they chat when lights are out : probably ? Will they chat all night long : probably not… When the novelty of being in the same room wears off, bedtime will be back to normal.

However, when one child does wake up crying at night, chances are they will wake the other child up. And that’s OK, because I have two words for you (well three) : white noise and consistency.

White noise because that will help keep a constant sound for the non-crying sleeping child and will drown out any disturbances to their sleep.

And consistency because when has consistency ever NOT been the answer? Imagine this : your baby is crying in the now joint room. Every cell in your body is telling you go scoop them up before they wake their sibling up and you suddenly have two crying children or two awake children. I want you to fight that urge : respond as you would normally respond if they were in their own room. That consistency in response will prevent the introduction of new sleep props or associations. And the cost of a couple of nights of interrupted sleep in the short term for your older child is much smaller than a bigger sleep problem in the long term.

I hope this provided answers to the questions that might have been keeping you from putting your kids in the same room. Or validated the reasons you are keeping them apart. Whatever your choice is, I want you to know that as long as it is working for you, it is the right choice. And if you have any questions I have not covered, reach out to me and we can discuss.

Figuring out Sleep for a Newborn

Tue, 20 Apr 2021 09:45:00 GMT

A sleep survival guide to the first few weeks of your infant’s life

Written by: Lamis Benjelloun

Do you ever feel like the person who coined “sleep like a baby” probably never got to spend time with a baby? I mean, seriously, moms of newborns KNOW that babies never sleep, especially at night.

You’d be surprised, or not, to know that newborns do actually sleep a lot. Their sleep needs are high (Did someone say 17 hours of sleep?) and their reliance on their mother is big. In fact, the first three to four months of a baby’s life are known as the fourth trimester and sleep is very unorganized during that time.

Oftentimes, newborns sleep a lot during the day, leaving them awake much of the night. This is known as Day/Night Confusion . Another newborn experience that makes sleep difficult is colic . These two topics are covered in separate blog posts as linked.

Focus on awake times instead…

Newborn sleep is not governed by your regular 24 hour clock. Their circadian rhythms are immature and their sleep cycles are bi-phasic, unlike those of an adult. This means that for half the time they are asleep, they are in light active sleep and for the other half, they are in deep sleep. What does that look like for us? This is the main culprit behind baby waking up as soon as we try to lay him in their crib after he has fallen asleep in our arms. This is also the reason newborns make so many noises in their sleep.

Simply put, we know that sleep is messy during the first few weeks of a baby’s life: this translates into irregular sleep periods as well as inability to fall asleep on their own. When we realize this, we can begin to take a load off the parents shoulders and instead of focusing on how long the sleep is or how baby fell asleep, we can focus on offering sleep every 45-60 minutes, even if assisted (by mom or a rocking chair or what have you). Babies have a short capacity to stay awake and when we offer sleep at short intervals, we allow them to relieve the sleep pressure thereby preventing them from getting overtired. If you have at all struggled with your child’s sleep, you know that overtired is the enemy: it is the way to make sure that baby will have an even harder time falling asleep.

When baby smiles…

The first real sleep milestone happens when baby reaches around 6 to 8 weeks. Your child is now more aware of her surrounding and this period is marked by her ability to smile “on purpose”. When you show up, baby can now look at you and smile, showing that he recognized you and is happy to see you. At this point, you will find that it becomes ever so important to dedicate a consistent sleep space that’s dark cool and quiet as much as possible to avoid distractions at nap and bedtime. Baby also naturally starts needing an earlier bedtime and you will find that they are more capable of longer stretches of sleep during the first half of the night.

If self-settling is a skill you would like your baby to acquire gently , you can start practicing it as early as this stage. Lay baby drowsy but awake in her crib for her first nap of the day and see if she will fall asleep. If she fusses at all, pick her up and help her fall asleep in whatever way you choose. You can try again tomorrow if you wish: afterall, practice makes perfect!

Tools to help…

Before I sign off here, I want to leave you with two tools that can help you set the stage for healthy sleep habits:

Life with a newborn is amazing but can be a time of total chaos and confusion. So instead of worrying about whether your baby is sleeping enough focus on recovering, bonding with your baby and offering them sleep often (every hour for example). And remember to enjoy it, seasons change quickly for infants and what seems so difficult today will be a distant memory sooner than you think!

What About My Sleep

Mon, 22 Mar 2021 16:55:00 GMT

Tips to help Mom sleep a little more.

Written by Lamis Benjelloun

We wear lack of sleep as a badge of honor. It’s true. Think back in university or college : you often here someone say “I was up all night studying for this test or writing this paper”. As moms, this continues to remain true. While it is widely known that parents, especially moms, do not sleep well due to their babies multiple night wake ups, we as moms tend to glorify how little we sleep. We trade stories of being woken up or only sleeping for a couple of hours all night as if they were war stories, competing for who wins the medal for the least amount of sleep.

But sleep deprivation is a real danger for our health.

“Every major system, tissue, and organ of your body suffers when sleep becomes short. No aspect of your health can retreat at the sign of sleep loss and escape unharmed. Like water from a burst pipe in your home, the effects of sleep deprivation will seep into every nook and cranny of biology, down into your cells, even altering your most fundamental self – your DNA.” (Matthew Walker)

As dismal as that quote is by Professor Matthew Walker, Director of the Center for Human Sleep Science, it is scarily true. There isn’t a whole lot in our bodies that is not affected by sleep. And evidence shows that sleep deprivation is linked to leading diseases such as diabetes, obesity and heart disease.

But as a mom, the most immediate effect I feel of sleep deprivation is my ability to actually “be there” for my kids. The quality of how much I can give them is directly linked to how well I sleep. I am much more likely to sing “the wheels on the bus” for the 54098324 ^th time if I had a good night sleep!

So how can you improve your sleep with children in tow? you may ask. It’s hard, I will give you this one. But there are things you can do to get a little more sleep, and in this case, any little bit matters.

Go to bed early

The temptation is real. Imagine the scenario: You wait until your kids go to sleep to wash the dishes, prepare for the next day, read, do your work, have a real uninterrupted conversation with your husband, answer those emails, pay the bills, have dinner, catch up on Netflix… and the list goes on. Sound familiar? I know it does to me. This means that I am up until 11 pm or midnight on a daily basis.

Tomorrow, try to make better choices: pick two or three things you would like to accomplish after your kids go to sleep and then head to bed yourself. 8 hours of sleep is the new 10 000 steps!!

Nap

Yes, nap when your baby naps. This may not occur easily but plan for you to get some sleep for at least one of your child’s naps. If you plan for this ahead, you are less likely to find something else more pressing to accomplish during those precious minutes that your baby is napping.

Sleep Routine

You hear creating a routine for baby is crucial to the health of their sleep. But what about you? Do you have a routine that helps you sleep? Lay your outfit for the next day, wash your face, read a book. Whatever it is that helps you, take the time to do it so that when you go to sleep, you are off to snoozeland without a glitch and without spending too much time thinking about all the things you did not get to accomplish that day.

Work on improving your child’s sleep hygiene

Yes, do that, help your baby sleep better so that YOU can sleep better. It is not selfish, we do not have to be sleepless to be good parents. Spend some time to improve your child’s sleep because after all, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

You Do Not Have to Wait Until Baby Grows Out of “IT”

Mon, 15 Mar 2021 05:41:00 GMT

Separating fact from fiction in the conversation about infant reflux

Written by: Jida Choura, the Reflux Mamma

Doesn’t it just sting, when someone says “its just colic”, or “all babies cry”. It is “just” the first 3 months and then babies grow out of “It”. The looks of judgment when you are at the clinic, and the “is this your first baby?” questions are just the worst. And the one sentence that used to personally hurt me was “oh you just have a grumpy baby, he’s just whiny.”

I am here to tell you there is no such thing as a grumpy baby.

These answers are actually said to you because the person saying them does not want to say: “ we do not actually know what is wrong with your baby”. They are words thrown around from friends; family members and even health professionals making mothers feel helpless, inadequate and delusional. I know, I was exactly where you were.

As a baby reflux consultant I don’t accept colic as a diagnosis. Colic’s actual definition is: “ a baby crying for 3 hours everyday, or for 3 hours a day 3 times a week for longer than 3 weeks”. If this describes your baby, I can tell you with utmost certainty THIS IS NOT NORMAL and it is NOT OKAY.

When a baby is deemed a colicky baby, this should be a mother’s queue to investigate more. It means something else is going on with the baby and baby is trying to communicate that they are very uncomfortable. There is always a cause for a baby’s discomfort.

So the next time someone accuses your baby of being a colicky baby and tells you its just “gas”. I want you to ask yourself: WHY? If they tell you your baby is colicky because they have reflux? I want you to ask WHY? Only when we find the root cause of your baby’s discomfort can we actually resolve it. 40% of babies born actually suffer from reflux , and unfortunately the solution given to mothers is wait or medicate.

You are told to wait for baby to grow out of it. Although there is no guarantee that they will, it all depends on what is actually going on; some kids suffer with reflux until age of 3.

Also, how is spending the first couple of years of your baby’s life wishing they would just grow while watching them suffer a solution?

The other option given is: medicate. Without identifying what the root cause behind the baby’s reflux is. Medication 95% of the times is unnecessary and does not actually resolve reflux. Only in very rare cases is it actually needed, and you must know that there are certain tests that need to be done before prescribing medication to make sure it is the necessary course of action.

Unfortunately, this is not what is actually happening. Medication is prescribed as an automatic response to any baby suffering with reflux, and this is something I urge mothers to be very aware of. Reflux medication prescribed to babies can cause side effects and is not easy weaning off due to the physiological tampering it does to a baby’s body.

As a mother of a child, that suffered with reflux for 9 months, and as the first certified baby reflux consultant in the middle east. I want you to know that the majority of the times reflux is completely resolvable without medication. Yes, you read that right. Reflux can be resolved completely . There is always a solution.

So first off lets identify what reflux actually is? Reflux is an involuntary action that the stomach does to protect the digestive system. It is the first line of defense for the digestive system to let whatever might cause the body discomfort out.

REFLUX IS NOT A DISEASE. IT IS A SYMPTOM.

There is always, always a cause for it. It is not something your baby just has to live with. Reflux does not necessarily mean throw up. Some babies spit up, others projectile vomit across the room (and this is when reflux is called GERD), and sometimes it involves zero spit up which is known as silent reflux. This is when the milk mixes with stomach acid and goes back up to the esophagus reaching the throat or mouth and then goes back down burning the esophagus on both ways.

Because reflux is a symptom, it can differ from baby to baby completely. For example, some babies can lose weight, spit up and not sleep. Others might sleep great, no spit up and be gaining weight but they whine all day, have painful gas and do not want to be put down. Both babies can be suffering from reflux.

Think of reflux as one of the symptoms of flu, the flu is the cause behind the cough or the temperature or the body aches. The body ache in itself is not a disease nor is it a cause. This is really important when trying to figure out what is causing your baby’s discomfort, as a baby reflux consultant I do not just look at your child’s sleep, weight, spit up and cries. I look at over 80 symptoms (some digestive, respiratory, skin related, behavior related, and others sleep related) that can accompany reflux and only then am I able to know the root cause behind your baby’s reflux.

There are many reasons for reflux, some happen during pregnancy, during delivery and others during the fourth trimester. The most common reasons are:

During pregnancy :
Baby’s position in Utero
Breech baby
Baby’s head position for birth
Mom’s gut health during pregnancy
Mom taking antibiotics during pregnancy
Gestational diabetes
Folic acid supplementation
Multiple births

During delivery:
Induction
C-section (planned or emergency)
Use of forceps or vaccum
Antibiotics during delivery

During fourth trimester :
Allergy/intolerance from moms food if baby is breastfed
Allergy/intolerance from formula milk
Baby’s gut health
Difficulties latching
Antibiotics given to baby
Tongue tie, lip tie, buckle tie
Cleft lip and high palate
Reflux medications
Tube feeding
Immature digestion

So the next time someone says your baby has reflux and ends there. Or your baby is a “colicky” baby and ends there. Do not accept that. You are your baby’s expert. If you feel your baby is more uncomfortable than they should be, trust your gut. Waiting is not a solution and is not your only option. Holding your baby up for 30 min after every feed might help sometimes but will not resolve the unique cause of your baby’s reflux. Sleeping at an angle will not resolve your baby’s reflux, medicating 95% of the time is unnecessary and will not resolve your baby’s reflux.

Only when realizing what the cause is can you actually resolve it and get your baby reflux free. So I would like to ask you as a mother to trust yourself, trust that you know your baby best and believe me when I tell you the days do not have to be this hard, because Reflux is not a disease .

The Regression Cheat Sheet

Tue, 09 Mar 2021 07:49:00 GMT

All you need to know about sleep regressions

Written by : Lamis Benjelloun

Ask any new and seasoned mama and she’ll have tales to tell on sleep regressions. Just when baby was settling into a nice predictable routine, they start waking up at night again or have a hard time sleeping. This is what we broadly recognize as a sleep regression but what is happening exactly?

If you look up a regression in the dictionary (Merriem Webster dictionary in this instance), you may find some of these definitions:

the act or an instance of regressing

a trend or shift toward a lower or less perfect state: such as reversion to an earlier mental or behavioral level

Similarly, if you look up the verb regress, you may find :

movement backward to a previous and especially worse or more primitive state or condition

These definitions all imply going back to some previous, less evolved state, which is very misleading because when it comes to sleep regressions, they are all directly a result of development milestones and skill acquisition. And in the process of learning and mastering these skills, baby may experience 2-4 weeks of disturbances in all other aspects, including sleep. So for the sake of being factually correct, let’s just start referring to them as PRO-gressions!

Below is a cheat sheet to help you recognize, understand and handle each of the major regressions in your baby’s life.

The 4 month regression

Development : Your baby’s circadian rhythms are maturing, making their sleep cycles look more like adult cycles. Your baby also has increased awareness of their surrounding and maybe starting to independently roll in bed, either back to front, front to back or both.

Effect on sleep : Baby’s new awareness of the world might be making it harder for them to surrender to sleep. It is probably more fun to watch mom or sibling playing near by than it is to fall asleep.

Babies who have so far slept well, as well as those who have had difficulties, might experience an increase in night wakings. This is a result of the development of circadian rhythms, requiring of them to follow more of a schedule. You may also see shorter naps if their schedule needs are not met.

What to do : You should have probably done that a few weeks ago but if you haven’t, stop swaddling your baby as they are likely able to free themselves at this point. In order to honor baby’s rhythms and sleep needs, it is important to set up an age appropriate schedule as well as make their sleep environment more consistent. This is a great time to start helping baby to practice and learn self settling skills and if baby was already sleeping pretty independently, try not to introduce any new sleep props.

The 8 month regression

Development : There is so much growth happening for your child now. The concept of object permanence or knowing that objects still exist even if they are out of sight develops around this age (though for some, it can develop as early as 4-7 months). In terms of more physical skills, some kiddos are learning to crawl or scoot, while others are pulling up or even standing assisted.

Effect on sleep : Baby’s new found physical capabilities might have them wanting to try these skills at night. This means that you might witness more night wakes. They might resist going to bed and having you out of their sight and that resistance might become a little physical as they might pull up on the crib rails.

What to do : As simple as it may sound, practice practice practice! Intentionally spend time during the day to practice all those physical skills. Peek-a-boo and hiding toys for baby to find will also help work on the development of object permanence. If you have not done so already, you should move the crib mattress to lower setting and resist the urge to lay baby down if they pull up unless there is a safety risk.

The 12 month regression

Development : Baby might be learning the walk and talk at this age.

Effect on sleep : You might see more night practice and night wakings at this point again. In addition, lots of kiddos at this age start refusing their second nap of the day.

What to do : Many parents assume that baby is ready to transition to one nap since they are having such a hard time sleeping for one of their naps. However, I STRONGLY recommend you refrain from doing that. Baby still needs the two naps for a few more months and trust me, dropping the nap now will only cause more problems. In short, continue offering naps at the same time and remain consistent in your response for both naps and night wakings, trying your best not to acquire new sleep crutches.

The 18 and/or 24 month regression

Development : A toddler has so many words and can do so much talking. They are also gaining tons of independence and may exhibit some signs of separation anxiety.

Effect on sleep : With this new found sense of independence, your child might become more difficult at bedtime, resisting every step of the bedtime routine or even refusing to go to sleep.

What to do : Give baby enough reassurances that mommy and daddy always come back so that he can relax and go to sleep. To help them exercise that new sense of independence, give them simple choices and decisions to make during their bedtime routine while still remaining consistent. That consistency will allow them to feel secure and find comfort in always knowing what comes next.

With all this information at hand, you now have the tools to help you face the many PRO-gressions that you might face during the first two years of your baby’s life. And when you are in the trenches, remember that you want to a) stay consistent and b) try not to acquire new sleep crutches. While it may not feel like it, this too shall pass but if you find that your child’s latest regression has made you realize that they need better sleep habits, reach out for one on one support!

Reading at Bedtime

Tue, 02 Mar 2021 06:46:00 GMT

Top 3 benefits of reading with your children before bed

Written by: Lamis Benjelloun

Never have truer words been said in a children’s book: reading not only fills up our information bank, it also allows our imagination to travel far and wide, thinking about all the things we are reading. As parents, we want to nourish our children’s love for books not only by modelling the behaviour through reading ourselves but also by making reading a fun part of their day. The easiest place to do that is to simply add it to their bedtime routine! And if you are not convinced, here are three reasons why reading with your children can make a great addition to, and even enhance, said routine.

1. Reading before bedtime creates a close physical bond with parents, lowers stress levels and cues in sleep

Imagine that you are wrapping up the bedtime routine: you have run after, begged and struggled with your kiddos to change their diapers, put on their pyjamas and brush their teeth. You sit on the bed/rocking chair, get comfortable and open a book. When you snuggle with your child at the end of a busy day to read a book, it creates a moment of calm and quiet. In that moment, both you and your child are relaxed and are able to enjoy one another, strengthening that bond between the two of you.

As your kids grow older, this “moment” is a great opportunity to chat about their day and bring up any difficult topics: I mean, what better way to bring up a difficult subject than by introducing it through a book! Whether you are attempting potty training, dealing with bullying, introducing a new sibling or comforting a child through a loss in the family, there is always an age-appropriate book to help you do that. As they read about characters having similar experiences, You children can find comfort in the fact that their feelings are normal and validated. And this provides you, as the parent, with an easy reference to bring up the next day when talking to your own children: “Remember when so and so felt this in the book?”

As an added bonus, the repeatedly relaxed mood in which your child is receiving that story becomes a strong cue for bedtime. Pretty soon, reading a few pages just automatically relaxes them and brings on the sleep! And for many people, this remains true through adulthood.

2. Reading encourages language and literacy development

It is not a secret that the more kids read, the more vocabulary they acquire. They are exposed to different words and different sounds which makes them better equipped to read and comprehend when they get older. Perhaps as you read, you are narrating the illustrations they see, or you are exaggerating certain sounds. Or as most of us undoubtedly have had to do at some point or another, you are reading the same story over and over again. All of these activities become the building blocks of their vocabulary, writing and reading comprehension.

3. Reading helps develop logic skills

We know that reading helps feed our children’s imagination. And though you probably know the words to your kid’s favorite story by heart, know that children who read or are read to often and repeatedly learn to make connections. As they read each story over and over, they start to see patterns and recognise what comes next. This ability to notice the sequence of events has far reaching effect on many areas of their lives (think math, science, music) as it teaches them to think logically and predict outcomes.

I’m sure that if I dig deeper, I will find even more reasons why reading to your kids is beneficial. But I hope that the reasons above are enough to convince you that spending just a few minutes curled up on your child’s bed reading will have the most significant impact on his or her life. Do you read with your children at night?

Moving Baby to their Own Room

Mon, 15 Feb 2021 11:09:00 GMT

5 steps to help you move your baby to their own room

Written by: Lamis Benjelloun

Deciding to move your baby to his or her own room can seem like an overwhelming task. After all, they have spent the last few months (possibly years?) in the bassinet or crib right next to your bed. Whenever you are ready to come to that decision, below are 5 steps to help you do that.

But first, I’d like to take a little detour and discuss why room-sharing is common. Often, mothers choose to keep their babies close by because in the days or weeks following birth, babies wake up often to feed and it is just more convenient to have them nearby. How long you keep them near is, however, absolutely up to each family. Some have a pre-determined period, like the first 4, 6 or 9 months of room-sharing before they want to transition their baby to their own room. Others want to wait until baby is sleeping through the night. Still, others want to share their room with their children until the children are ready for their own space. Whatever your motivation or plan is, I want you to know that this is absolutely fine. There is no rule about when children should be in their own rooms and each family has different preferences.

From a safety perspective, the American Academy of Pediatrics does recommend that parents and babies room-share (not bed-share) for the first six months and up to 12 months of a baby’s life as a safe sleep measure to reduce the incidence of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). This recommendation was, however, followed by a study in Pediatrics (the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics) that found that at 4 – 9 months of age, room-sharing was “associated with less reported nighttime sleep in both the short- and long-term, worse sleep consolidation, and unsafe sleep practices previously associated with sleep-related death.” This showed that the while room-sharing was recommended to reduce the incidence of bed-sharing, it had the opposite effect: parents who room-share with their infants were more likely to bring them in to their own beds at some point in the night.

All of this to say that while we know the recommendation and we should place baby’s safety above all, we also know that in general, babies have been known to sleep better in their own space. So ultimately, the choice is yours mama, you can move them when you feel like you want to and are ready to do it.

Get them used to their room

Start by building a relationship between your baby and the nursery. Pick one activity during his or her day and do it in their room. This will help them get used to the space and feel positive about it. I encourage you to avoid “playing” inside the crib as we want baby to come to associate it with sleep, not play.

Focus on the environment

Make sure that the room is ready for sleep. Investigate whether you have the right kind of curtains to make it dark and that it is visually quiet without too many distractions. This will invite sleep. Also check if the room needs a white noise machine to drown out any environmental noises that might wake baby up.

Start Routine in Baby’s Room

Once baby is used to their room, you can start doing your pre-nap and bedtime routine there. Keep it as consistent and as similar to their routine in your room as possible. After the routine, you can take them to your room to sleep.

First nap in the day in their own room

The next step is to have baby do their first nap of the day in their own room, preferably in the same bassinet that they were using in your room. If baby is under 5 months of age, this transition should be relatively easy. If older, you might need to provide additional soothing. After a few days, you can have them sleep in the crib instead of bassinet.

Add other naps and night sleep

Once baby is taking a nap regularly in their own room, they are ready to move all sleep to that room, in their own crib. Remember that your baby takes their cues from you so if you are intentional about moving them to their room and consistent in your approach, the move should take a few days and baby will adjust to the new space.

As you embark on this journey of transition and change, it is a great time — if you haven’t done so already — to set up some healthy sleep habits for your child. If you want to chat more about this, schedule a call with me today.

And remember, whether you continue to room-share or transition baby to their own room, please keep in mind safe sleep measures .

Good Night Baby, I love You

Mon, 01 Feb 2021 07:12:00 GMT

Why a sleep mantra can be a great sleep cue.

Written by Lamis Benjelloun

“Good night baby, I love you.” I have said this every night for the past 8 – almost 9 – years as I first tucked my firstborn, then as I tucked both of my kids in. Over the years, this sort of mantra has taken on a life of its own, and my sons have even been known to tease me with it and use it when they know that its almost bedtime. But jokes and teasing aside, this sentence has served as a bedtime cue for the better part of the last 8 years of our lives. Why is that? Here it goes…

Last week’s blog went into details about the common sleep associations that can sometimes become unsustainable for some families. But just like babies can associate rocking or bouncing or feeding to sleep, they can also associate certain positive things to sleep. A constant sleeping space, a sound machine, a swaddle or a sleep sack: those are all things that babies can come to associate with sleep. If we repeat the same bedtime routine day in and day out, children quickly learn and recognise that sleep is coming after the routine. The same thing happens when you switch off the lights, pull down the shades or say good night. These all come to signify that now is the time to sleep.

At the beginning, it wasn’t so much what I said that mattered. It was the repetition of the same sentence before bed that was helping them. It was creating an association between that sentence and the onset of sleep. I could be walking around a mall and when its naptime, I would repeat that sentence a few times and that usually was the last push they needed to go to sleep. They were already drowsy because it was naptime but it was as if I was giving them permission to relax and actually sleep.

It was also a reassuring voice to them, as we began sleep-training efforts. I could say that sentence and they immediately recognised that one of their parents was there for them. And even when they woke up because they were ill or had a nightmare, that sentence has served many a time to reassure them and help them doze off again.

As they grew older, the meaning and content of the sentence became the primary purpose. It told them they are loved, they are cared for and reassured them that we are there for them as they slept. What we tell our kiddos at bedtime is important. We need to reassure them that we are there for them and that we will see them in the morning when we all wake up. So I encourage you to find your way of doing that for your baby. Something as simple as “sweet dreams baby, I’ll see you in the morning” can go a long way in allowing baby to surrender to sleep.

I’m not saying that this sentence or sleep mantra is the magic incantation that gets my babies to sleep. But just like their bedtime routine, the mantra is just an additional way of letting them know that they can relax because sleep is coming.

What’s the deal with sleep props?

Tue, 26 Jan 2021 07:33:00 GMT

A closer look at sleep crutches and associations.

Written by: Lamis Benjelloun

I love to read a book right before bed, my husband loads up on the news and my best friend can only sleep if the tv is on. My brother cannot sleep unless he is under a serious comforter, no matter the season, and my son can only sleep completely uncovered. We all have things that help us “cook our sleep,” as we say in Morocco. This means that we all have our quirks when it comes to sleep and we all have different ways to prepare for it.

One of the most common misconceptions is that at some point, every child will be able to sleep through the night. And I say misconception because to be perfectly honest with you, nobody sleeps through the night. Not even you. Or me. Instead, throughout the night, we continuously move from one sleep cycle to another until we reach the morning.

As we begin each cycle, we first enter the NREM stages, falling deeper and deeper in sleep, followed by the REM stage. At the end of each cycle, and before the beginning of the next, there will be a brief arousal period. This arousal period is so short that most of the time, we can’t even recall being awake. We might fix our pillow, adjust a cover, but we go right back to sleep. And so should babies.

However, much like most of the systems in their body, newborn sleep starts off under-developed, maturing around the 4-month mark. Many refer to this as the four month sleep regression but all it really means is that baby’s sleep can now be described as cycles that are made of REM and NREM periods, or more like adult cycles. In the first few months of life, the duration of that cycle is short (around 45 minutes) but that lengthens as they get older to reach around 90 minutes.

But what happens if your baby fell asleep in your arms before you laid them in bed. You can imagine that that brief “arousal” period we talked about earlier turns into full on “alarmed waking” as they begin to wonder how they ended up here. This is basically the reason why sleep crutches, props or associations are such a big topic for new or even seasoned moms.

A sleep association or a crutch is any action that a baby needs to fall asleep. When they are unable to put themselves to sleep as infants, we as parents begin to experiment with ways to help them do so. When we find a way that works, we stick to it. As this repeats every night, every night waking, and every nap, the child begins to put the two actions together, or in other words associate them together.

As I said in the introduction of this piece, many adults have such associations. Watching TV, reading or a particular sleep position can be the absolute necessary thing we need to fall asleep. But in many cases, for babies, these crutches are provided by the parents. Take a look at the most common sleep props: nursing, bottle feeding, rocking, bouncing, walking, patting, rubbing or touching. There is no way that baby can reproduce any of these actions on their own at the end of every hour or so as they move from one cycle to the next. They need their parents’ or caregiver’s intervention. Therefore, they need to call out, or cry out, for mom or dad to nurse them back to sleep. Or rock them back to sleep. Or bounce them back to sleep. You get the picture.

Is this a bad habit that we need to change? Only you can tell me. Some moms cherish the time they get to lay next to their baby as they fall asleep. Others don’t mind bouncing their child for a few minutes before bedtime every night. But in some other cases, the exercise is difficult. It is common for babies who rely on sleep props to take very short naps because they can’t move to the next cycle. This leads to a sort of chronic sleep deprivation. When you combine the lack of independent sleep skills with an overtired child, you are talking about hours of bouncing, continually replacing a pacifier or waking up every couple of hours throughout the night.

Can they be avoided altogether? Due to the way the child’s brain and sleep organisation is at birth, babies are born needing a lot of assistance from mom. Having said that, you can certainly try a few things to reduce baby’s reliance on sleep props — making sure of course, that your attempts are age-appropriate:

You can work on varying your soothing techniques
You can work on including other caregivers to soothe baby
You can make sure that baby does not get overtired by offering them as much sleep as possible
You can focus on consolidating naps
You can create a bedtime routine that prepares baby to sleep
You can work on making their sleep space consistent and conducive for sleep
You can try to minimize your reliance on external ways to put baby to sleep, such as strollers, swings, bouncers, etc.
You can adopt a “EAT-PLAY-SLEEP” schedule

But, say your baby does have a sleep association that is not sustainable for your family: don’t worry. It is never too late to help them become an independent sleeper by setting up a healthy sleep foundation.

What’s the Perfect Sleep Environment?

Tue, 19 Jan 2021 07:52:00 GMT

The secrets to making your kid’s bedroom more conducive for sleep

Written by Lamis Benjelloun

Parents often tell me that they want their children to be able to sleep anywhere. Meaning they want them to get used to sleeping with noise around them so that they don’t have to spend the entire evening tiptoeing around the house. Or that they don’t want to make the room too dark because their kids might become afraid of the dark. But what if I told you that the quality of your child’s sleep depends on the environment that they are sleeping in ? Well here is the deal with sleep spaces.

The perfect sleep environment is safe

First and foremost, baby’s sleep environment must be safe to ensure their safety and security. This means different things for different ages. If your babe is under 12 months, sleep environment equals a crib (or bassinet or pack-n-play) plus a firm mattress and a fitted sheet. That’s it! No bumpers, no positioners, no pillows, no blankets and definitely no toys. Babies in this age group are at risk for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). And while it is difficult to completely eliminate the risk of SIDS, we can reduce its incidence by keeping baby’s sleep space free of any item that may represent an entrapment, suffocation or strangulation hazard.

As your child grows, the safety of their sleep space takes on different meanings. They can now stand in their crib and reach for things that may be at arm’s length. So your mission now is to keep wires, strings, curtains or what have you away from their little arms’ reach. And if your little one is a budding gymnast and is already attempting to climb on the crib rails, remove any pillows or such items that he or she can use to step up and jump out of the crib.

As they transition out of their crib into a bed, we do still want to keep the room safe for our children in case they are up at night and walk around their room. Make sure that all furniture is bolted to the walls and that nothing can cause them to trip. Safety gates on staircases are also helpful if your kiddo has a habit of walking out of their room.

The perfect sleep environment is dark

As we get ready for sleep, the body starts producing melatonin, the sleep hormone. This production is triggered when night time is detected. Artificial lights — whether that’s coming from a night light, TV, monitor or street light — mimic natural sunlight which is associated with wakefulness. This results in a reduction in the production of melatonin. It becomes easy to understand then, that the darker the room the better the sleep.

But wait, what if you are worried that your baby is scared of the dark? Remember where your baby spent the first 9 months of their life? In absolute darkness inside the womb, so young babies are not scared of the dark. This becomes an issue later in the toddler+ years when their imagination starts running wild. But you, as the caregiver, might need a night light to see your way around a night feed or diaper change. In that case, choose a dim light that has a red or orange tone. These tones are less disruptive to levels of melatonin than the blue and white lights.

Here is a pro tip: use black-out curtains in your kids’ rooms to completely darken their room and block out sunlight during naps and bedtime. They are also handy if any streetlights can be seen from their windows.

The perfect sleep environment is cool

As you begin to prepare for sleep, your body’s temperature starts to drop. This is due to internal temperature shifts that happen during the near 24 hour period known as circadian rhythms. In fact, your body’s temperature continues to drop until it reaches its lowest point around dawn. As the temperature of the sleep environment can affect your own body’s temperature, it can risk disrupting your sleep. The same goes for babies. So keep the room temperature cool to honor the body’s need to drop its own temperature. I could tell you an exact range to set your A/C to but you are probably the best judge of whether your baby looks cool and comfortable or hot and flustered. Always make sure that they are not sweating or that their cheeks are not flushed. And the best way to gauge their body’s temperature is usually not their extremities (hands and feet), go ahead and stick your fingers or hand down their neck or in their chest to have a better sense of how warm or cold they are.

The perfect sleep environment is quiet

Environmental noises, such as traffic or regular house noises, can affect a baby’s sleep and fragment it. In fact, research shows that noise during sleep can alter the amount of time you spend in certain sleep stages. So while your best friend may tell you that she worked hard to get her baby to sleep through any noise, it is in fact better for them to sleep in a quiet environment. But if you live in a busy city or have older children or are just a normal human being who wants to maybe catch up on Netflix when your baby sleeps, you know that absolute silence is not possible. In that case, you can add a constant background noise, or white noise, that can mask any sounds that are out of your control. This way, baby can sleep in an environment that has an even tone and volume of sound to counteract the effect of noise disturbances. You can achieve this through a white noise machine or app, but you can also get the job just as well done using a fan or A/C. Should you opt for a white noise machine, remember to think about safety. Use your common sense to make sure its volume is not too loud and that the machine is placed far enough from baby. For reference, the the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends not exceeding a volume of 50 decibels and that the machine should never be placed inside the crib or on the crib rails.

So the next time your sister, friend or neighbor rave about how their baby can sleep just about anywhere or through anything, find comfort in the fact that you know that your child’s sleep quality is much better because their sleep environment is safe, dark, cool and quiet.

Is Sleep Training the Right Choice for my Family ?

Tue, 12 Jan 2021 07:54:00 GMT

Signs of Readiness for Sleep Training

Written by Lamis Benjelloun

I am a sleep consultant, which means that I do believe that you can change your baby’s sleep behavior to improve both their sleep and yours. Yes, the ability to fall asleep is innate, but somewhere along the line, for some babies, our interference as parents leads them to come to rely on us to fall asleep. That is not to say that assisting children to sleep is wrong. It is only something that needs to be adjusted IF and only IF it is neither working for the baby nor the parents.

What is considered an issue when it comes to sleep?

Say your baby wakes up multiple times at night and is difficult to settle. Or you have to rock them to sleep for hours before they go to bed. Or you need to lay down with them and pretend to sleep until they fall asleep. Now in some cases, this may not be a big deal. If you don’t mind doing these things for your kiddo, then no need to read on. But in some cases, this goes on for so long and becomes so difficult that parents become sleep deprived. And sleep deprivation jeopardises our ability to properly care for our children: after all, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

What is sleep training?

Enter Sleep Training. Sleep training is shaping or changing our children’s sleep habits. We pick a method to replace what is currently happening (rocking, bouncing, patting), with what we would like to see happen (i.e. more independent sleep).

What does it involve?

As we work to allow our children to acquire more independent sleep habits and learn to sleep without our assistance, we can make this process easier for them by meeting their sleep needs and installing a healthy foundation for sleep. This can be done by:

a) Providing them with an environment that is conducive to sleep
b) Aligning their sleep schedule with their developmental needs
c) Creating a consistent sleep routine that they can rely on
d) Choosing a sleep training method and consistently applying it

What do I mean by choosing a sleep training method though? It’s actually not as scary as it sounds. It just means that instead of bouncing baby to sleep, how will you put them to bed? Often, children that rely on their parents to sleep end up in the crib already asleep so our new objective becomes to put them in the crib awake, at the moment at which they are most ready for sleep. Ever heard of drowsy but awake? That’s what I’m talking about here.

I’ll be honest, this will not be easy. And while the choice of method is important, what is even more important is our ability as parents to apply that method consistently, even at 4 am. Because let’s be fair to our children, if we keep changing the way we respond to them, it will take them that much longer to understand and adapt to the new habits we are trying to set up.

But it is also important to keep in mind that our children’s temperament matters. There are so many sleep training methods out there, from the “cold turkey” style ones to ones that are so gradual it could take months before you see any significant changes. But your baby may not be a “cold turkey” kind of personality and may need more gentle nudging. Or the opposite, all your efforts to be gradual may just be getting in their way of learning to sleep.

Does my family need to do sleep training ?

Now that you know what sleep training is, should you do it? Will it solve your sleep woes? Only you can answer that question. Always remember that sleep training is a CHOICE, not an obligation. No family absolutely has to sleep train. And no family has to feel bad about sleep training their children. The most common sleep issues that I help families work through is eliminating sleep crutches. Some of the most common ones include: rocking to sleep, feeding to sleep, continually replacing the pacifier, bouncing or holding to sleep and co-sleeping. However, you may be doing any or all of the above and not have a problem with it. For you, my friend, sleep training is not necessary.

What should I do prior to sleep training?

So say you have made up your mind: you will sleep train your little one. Can you do anything to prepare before night 1? Well yes, there is! For you as a parent, make sure you have a solid plan that you understand and feel comfortable with. I would also encourage you to be on the same page as your spouse or other caregivers and have their support. Because these are all things that will help you stay consistent throughout the process, during the wins and the difficult times.

For the sake of stability and consistency, make sure that during your sleep training efforts, you have no plans that would cause you to change your child’s sleep environment. I encourage you to choose a 2-4 week period in which there is little or no traveling, and minimal changes to routine. Meaning don’t start sleep training if you are planning to move houses in a week!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, a well rested child is more adaptable so make sure you offer extra sleep to your kiddo prior to sleep training. Not only will your baby learn to self settle much quicker, their resistance will also be much less aggressive. Also, if you suspect any teething or illness, it is better to put your sleep training plans on hold.

What are the benefits?

What’s my favorite thing about having sleep trained my kids? Besides the fact that we are all well rested and sleep well at night, if they are ever up at night and call out for me, I know that they need something from me and I can respond accordingly. It removes all the guesswork of: are they just trying to fall back asleep or are they in pain/scared and really need my assistance?

Besides that, I can’t begin to tell you how many benefits I have reaped from sleep training. In fact, I made a career out of it because I just wanted to shout those benefits out from the rooftop and tell everyone. My kids have a predictable routine and go to bed early. Which means that my husband and I have plenty of time to watch movies, discuss family matters without constant interruption and even go out to dinner knowing that our kids will sleep soundly in the care of the sitter. My kids are happier, well rested and more adaptable to changes that we bring their way, whether that’s during a trip or after moving houses. And I can respond better to my children’s needs because my sleep needs are met. And these are just the most obvious reasons. There are so many more!

Understanding your Baby’s Sleep Cues

Mon, 21 Dec 2020 06:42:00 GMT

A Compilation of the most common baby sleep cues

Written by Lamis Benjelloun

When you and I get sleepy, we may feel lethargic, our eyelids might droop and we may start yawning. That’s how we know that it’s time for bed. But how do we know when our children are sleepy? In many cases, we decide our baby needs to go to bed because they are crying and we’ve tried everything else to no avail. In better cases, we put them to bed when we see them yawning. While the second scenario is slightly better than the first one, I can confidently say that if you have waited until the yawn to start your bedtime routine, you have probably waited too long.

Babies have a way of telling us that they are sleepy. Though they are not ready to use words, they do have cues for almost everything to help us navigate their needs. This goes for sleep as well. Sleepy cues look different from child to child but what’s common for all children is that they start very subtle and accelerate in intensity. To make it easier for you to spot, I have grouped the most common cues in three main categories.

Ideally, you want to be within 10 minutes from laying babe down in crib when you spot the first category, be right about to turn the lights out when you reach category 2 and hopefully, you may never find out what category 3 looks like!

The “I’m getting sleepy” cues

When babies are getting sleepy, they communicate with us through non-verbal cues. They may look away or have a distant gaze. This means that they are ready to go to bed. As they get older, these signs may look like your child wanting extra cuddles or randomly laying down during play. As these first set of signals tend to be more subtle and different for each child, it may take you some observation time to spot them. The easiest time to see them is if you watch your child at the end of the day, right before dinner. Once you have come to recognize them, start that pre-nap routine as you soon as you see them or aim to be at last few steps of the bedtime routine as they are happening. If you respond to these cues, going to sleep will be a much easier process for your child and the bedtime routine will be smoother. Below are the most common examples:

Distant gaze or zoning out
Getting Calmer and quieter
Looks away and may appear disinterested
Pink/Red brows or lower eyelid
Decreased activity
Wanting to cuddle
Lying down

The “Time for bed NOW” cues

Stage 2 sleepy cues are the more visible ones, or the ones we know most. Baby at this point is probably yawning (maybe repeatedly), rubbing their eyes, and acting fussy. For older children, they become clingier, whining, they start reaching out for their favorite teddy or blanket, maybe sucking their thumb or pacifier. This means that they are ready to go to bed RIGHT now. If you are already at this stage, I suggest you skip the pre-nap routine or shorten the bedtime routine, as baby is pretty much ready for sleep. Below are some common cues for this stage:

Yawning
Rubbing eyes
Fussy
Hard to distract or keep happy
Eyelids drooping
Reaching for teddy or blanky
Sucking thumb or fingers
Sucking pacifier
Whining

The “It’s too late” cues

Once you are past stage 2, it is likely that you have passed baby’s ideal time to go to sleep. Now their cries are more desperate, and their behaviors are signs that baby is overtired. This stage is usually characterized by a lot of crying, screaming and jerky limb movements. That image of a baby/child arching their back with a rigid body is very typical for this overtired state. For the older kiddos, it looks like a lot of meltdowns and tantrums, a rise in activity levels, and an uncharacteristic clumsiness. Some of the more common overtired signs are:

Pulling ears or hairs
Irritable
Inconsolable crying
Screaming
Arching/Rigid body
Pushes away
Jerky limb movement
Overactive
Meltdowns and tantrums
Resisting bedtime
Clumsy

The thing about sleepy cues is that initially they are hard to spot, so take the time to observe your child and identify his favored sign. Trust me, once you know them, you will save yourself a lot of angst as putting baby to sleep at the first sign of sleepiness is exponentially easier than doing so once their bodies enter the overtired stage.

What do you child’s sleep cues look like? Are they easy to identify?

Secrets to Navigating Jet Lag

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 07:09:00 GMT

Or why I can still travel with my kids
Written by Lamis Benjelloun

I do a fair bit of traveling with my children given that we are expatriates (my son was just about 6 weeks old when he got on his first plane ride) so figuring out jet lag was key to my sanity. And despite the pandemic, the holiday season approaching means that some families may be planning some trips so I thought we could chat about how to get over or survive the resulting jet lag as it is one of the main reasons parents may choose not to travel with their babes.

What is Jet Lag and what is the Circadian Clock

Jet lag is probably the most common sleep disorder. As we travel across different time zones, an imbalance occurs in our internal clock also known as Circadian Rhythms. These rhythms are cycles of 24 hours that govern our body’s daily functioning. Exposure to sunlight triggers a number of changes in levels of hormones, body temperatures and other biological conditions that help determine when we sleep and when we wake up. As you can imagine, when we find ourselves in a different time zone, the adjustment necessary causes our clock to be slow to catch up. This means that for the first few days in our new destination, our bodies still think we are in our old time zone and function accordingly, telling us to sleep when its not necessarily time to sleep and wake up when its probably still night time. Fortunately, the clock does end up catching up with us eventually!

West is Best, East is a Beast

Not all travel is equal and not all jet lag is equal. The severity of your jet lag and how quickly you get over it depend on which direction you are traveling as well as how many time zones you are crossing. The saying goes west is best, east is a beast. Eastward travel means you end up having to go to bed earlier than you are used to, which is usually difficult as you may not have built enough sleep pressure or be ready to do so. When we travel westward however, we end up having to sleep later than our usual bedtime, which is a much easier thing to do (Am I right?).

Preparing for the storm

Ok, with all this information, how can you prepare your child for a trip to minimize their jet lag and avoid having to start your day at 4 am for the entire duration of your trip? You guessed it! The answer depends on how many time zones you are traveling across and ultimately, your own personality type.

Method 1 : The planners

If planning is an important part of your trip, and you will only be crossing one or two time zones, then you can prepare for the time change before you even leave home. Adjust bedtime, wake up time and the subsequent nap start times by 15 to 30 minutes every day until you are functioning on your destination time zone.

Here is an example of what I mean for the case of traveling to a destination that is T+1 hour from your time zone.

You are now operating at the same time as your destination and can now travel without worrying about jet lag. As I said, this works particularly well for short time zone changes of 1 or 2 hours.

Method 2 : The procrastinators

If you are like me and prefer to deal with things at the last possible minute, this method is for you! This method is also for you if you are traveling across multiple time zones making adjustments ahead of time more difficult. You have to do 2 things to help your baby’s body (and yours) along:

Embrace the storm

The second method will take a couple of days to help your rhythms catch up with your new time. In the meantime, I want you to accept that the first few nights will be difficult for both you and your children. Try to keep them in bed as long as possible but understand that the first few days might mean earlier than usual wake ups. I want you to also embrace the jet lag. Jet lag does not necessarily equal earlier wake ups, sometimes, your children will wake up later than usual (Yay!). My first born is a lark : he always wakes up early and at the same time no matter what time he goes to bed. The only times he ever sleeps in is when our family is traveling and he is jetlagged.

The catch up game

So while you and your kiddos may feel a little out of sorts for a few days, allowing your circadian rhythms to adapt as quickly as possible to the new time zone (either by prepping ahead of time or adopting the new zone upon arrival) will help your rhythms catch up with you.

Do you travel often with your children? How was your experience with Jet Lag and how do you get over it?

Surviving Your Baby’s “Day/Night Confusion”

Mon, 07 Dec 2020 05:48:00 GMT

A few tips to help spread out your baby’s sleep periods.

Written by Lamis Benjelloun

“If my baby can sleep for so long during the day, why are they up every hour at night?” said every new mom on the planet. I know I did! And when he did sleep for long stretches during the day, I would give the “death stare” to anyone who dared make a peep around the house.

What is Day/Night Confusion?

Your baby is sleeping better during the day than they are at night because they are experiencing Day/Night Confusion. Babies are born with immature Circadian Rhythms and so their days are not governed by the 24 hour clock that runs our system. Instead, their days are just split up into “awake” periods and “sleeping” periods. They have also spent the last 9 months lulled to sleep in the womb by mommy’s motions and are therefore accustomed to sleeping when mom is active (ie during the day). The bad news is that there is nothing you can do to immediately fix it. The good news is that it tends to dissipate by the 3-month mark. In the meantime, there are things you can do to even out the time baby spends awake vs. the time they spend asleep.

Never wake a sleeping baby?

Every mom has heard this and has definitely felt this way: My baby is finally down for a nap, I will not wake them up no matter how long they sleep. And I’m with you, let babes lie, but if that nap is so long that it messes up the rest of the day’s schedule, do wake them up. As a rule of thumb, if a nap is over two hours long at that age, it’s too long.

Expose them to sunlight

You will never hear me say let your baby nap in a lit up environment during the day so they can differentiate day from night because that just won’t work: all it will do is make it harder for your baby to fall asleep (you can find more info on naps here ). However, do expose them to sunlight when they are awake as this will help the development of their circadian rhythms. Take them for a walk outside when they wake up, weather permitting, or have them play in a particularly sunny part of the house.

Boring nights

Treat all middle of the night wakings as such: keep lights low and interactions even lower. You can set the tone from the beginning that nights are for sleep and days are for fun. This will also help in setting up their Circadian Rhythms.

Short awake window

Newborns have a very small capacity to stay awake. And while mama is super excited when baby is up because its kind of fun to cuddle and play with your baby, keep that window very short at first. Aim to have them in bed at most 60 minutes after they wake up. By respecting their maximal capacity to stay up, you are making sure that they are always well rested which makes their sleep periods longer, deeper and more restorative.

So while we there is no real magic trick that will flip baby’s days and nights and help them sleep better at night, we can find ways to survive this period by attempting to even out their sleep periods during our 24 hour day.

Was this helpful to you? Share it with a new mom who needs help by sending her the link above!

I never really hired a sleep consultant

Mon, 17 Aug 2020 08:09:00 GMT

So why might you want to?

Written by Lamis Benjelloun

Being pregnant 9 years ago in Morocco was very different from now. I am not saying I lived in the stone age but there was no doulas, no lactation specialists, no antenatal classes and definitely no post natal support. All you had was the word of those who had done it before. And they forget, otherwise none of us would have had more than one child!

So I did what I do best : I researched. I read books, scoured the internet and found websites that told me all there was to know about my pregnancy and my baby. I even found a chiropractor that did pre-natal work with expectant moms and had a couple of sessions. The day I walked into the hospital to deliver my baby, I thought I was ready ! Boy was I wrong ! Everything I read so far seemed to have disappeared into thin air. And now, there was this newborn, confused baby that expected me to know how to care for him. With a lot of help from my “village”, I was able to figure out and learn a lot of things. But sleep just wouldn’t come together. Up until almost the end of my maternity leave, my son was still sleeping very little at night and taking forever to fall asleep. I needed a solution, and fast. In comes my friend from abroad. Her son was just a year or two older than mine and in her world, they had a thing called sleep specialists! To cut a long story short, she taught me what I needed to know about sleep, as it pertained to her son and I was able to learn from that, research more and come up with a plan for my son. It worked! He was sleeping, I was sleeping, my husband was sleeping and we were all much happier people.

To say that you absolutely need a sleep specialist to decipher the foreign language that is your child’s sleep would be a lie. There is so much information out there in books, websites, applications, podcasts, guides, etc. It is all there. And I know it because I now spend the majority of my time reading through all of that material. It is a LOT. But, as a sleep deprived mama or papa, do you have the time, energy and attention span to go through all of it? Probably not. To tell you the truth, a lot of the stuff I read back then only really made sense now when I was sleeping properly in the process of getting certified. So why should you hire a sleep consultant when I’m telling you that I was able to do it on my own sleep deprived capabilities?

Because a sleep consultant probably has spent a lot of time researching sleep. Many of them eat, sleep and dream SLEEP. They are able to cater the information to your specific needs and philosophy. If you practice attachment parenting, they will skip telling you about the extinction options. If you are too sleep deprived to focus, they will present you the information in an easy digestible format. And they will happily say it over and over again. Because more likely than not, your sleep consultant is a mama who has had her fair share of sleepless nights so she knows exactly how you feel.

A sleep consultant also has a more neutral view of your situation. They know your family on paper and so they are able to tell you the situation without adding the emotional part. They can tell you when you should have probably given your child a chance to sleep because your presence was stimulating to them. They can tell you that your baby obviously is sleep deprived or is actually getting too much sleep.

They are your own personal cheerleader. They will celebrate all the little wins with you and help you see the progress you have made through the sleepless fog. They will cheer you on when you are ready to give up and show you how strong you are. They will even be proud of you and your accomplishments and point out how proud you should be of all the skills your child is learning and how quickly they are processing the changes.

So yes, you are absolutely capable of doing it all on your own but if you are too tired to, or too exhausted to make any changes, you don’t have to! Give a sleep consultant a call. They may just have the perfect plan for you and your family!

The Economics of Sleep

Sun, 21 Jun 2020 16:24:00 GMT

The Sleep Debt

Written by Lamis Benjelloun

Before I decided to change careers and become a sleep consultant, I spent the better part of my earlier life working in financial services. So it was only natural that when I came across the concept of the sleep debt, something clicked and things just started to make sense.

For the purpose of this exercise, I invite you to think about your child’s sleep as if you were an economist managing a bank account. When they are born, their account is small as they are only able to deposit and withdraw in small amounts. Month after month, as they grow, that account gets bigger. Every time they sleep, they are depositing sleep units in the account but every hour or minute they spend awake, they are using units or withdrawing them from the account.

In this analogy, each child has a finite or maximum number of awake units that is a direct result of the number of units they have put in, or the amount of sleep that they have had in the last 24 hours. Once they have consumed all the units in their account, they start borrowing time. So for every bit of time that they are awake when they should be sleeping, they are starting to build a sleep debt. That debt grows as the gap between how much they have slept and how much time they have spent awake widens.

So how can you tell if your child is accumulating a sleep debt?

Basically, if two or more of these statements are true, your child has likely built his or herself a sleep debt.

How do you fix the sleep debt?

Ultimately this sleep debt is the root of all your sleep problems but that’s exactly what makes it so easy to fix. We know that if you add sleep units in your child’s account, they’ll have more units at their disposal to use. So let’s offer them more sleep opportunities, lets make them sleep rich! The easiest spot to do that is at bedtime. Get them to bed early, it will allow them to benefit from that oh-so-juicy restorative deep sleep that happens prior to midnight (we’ll talk about this in an upcoming blog). And let them nap. If you haven’t had a chance to hear me insist about the importance of naps, read The Truth About Naps for all the possible scenarios.

Did you like this post? Please forward it to a mama who needs some sleep!

The Truth About Naps

Sun, 07 Jun 2020 20:55:00 GMT

My 3.5 year old is sadly in the process of dropping his one and only nap. On days he naps, bedtime gets pushed later to an unacceptable hour for me, even if cut it as short as 30 minutes. And on days he doesn’t nap, he barely makes it through the day. He doesn’t completely fall apart but he might fall asleep on the couch at 4 pm. And if he doesn’t nap for 3 or 4 consecutive days, he doesn’t sleep well at night: he is agitated and wakes up in the middle of the night, refusing to go back to sleep.

Which made me think about naps in general. As a mom, naps are my little haven: it’s when I get to do all the things that I can’t do when my children are around, like shower. As a sleep consultant, naps are the variable that holds the key to the entire sleep equation!

This may not be the most scientific way to explain it, but there are just not enough hours in the night for a baby or child to get their fill of sleep. To gain good sleep habits, children need a good balance of night and day sleep in order meet their developmental sleep needs. While these needs change based on age, we generally see children struggle with naps that are too short, too long, too few, ill-timed or non-existent at all. So let’s look at the general profile of the different types of nappers and how to encourage them to take better naps. For you dear reader, you can just scroll down and find your particular napper and read more about how you can help him or her .

The one who always cat-naps:

Some babies, and even toddlers and pre-schoolers, continue to only take short 30-45 minute naps. This is not only too short for mommy to get anything done, it is also too short for baby to get the rest he or she needs. This is probably the most common nap issue experienced by parents.

First, lets take a look at how we sleep. Babies, and adults, sleep in cycles that are made up of different stages of light and deep sleep. All through the night (and naps), we move from one cycle of sleep to the next, and as we transition, there is a very brief period of partial arousal or awakening. For babies, that cycle is around 45 minutes long and gets longer as they grow older. So now you can see that a baby that only naps for 30 or 45 minutes is only sleeping through one sleep cycle and fully wakes up during that short period of partial arousal instead of moving on to another sleep cycle.

So how do we get those naps to be a little longer? I thought you’d never ask!

#1: Make sure their sleep environment is dark. Darkness promotes the production of melatonin, a much needed hormone for sleep. In addition, focus on making their sleep space cool and quiet to avoid unnecessary wake ups caused by noise or over-heating.

#2: An overtired baby will be very resistant and will not be able to have a deep restorative nap. Prevent this by making sure that babe goes to sleep when he or she first exhibit sleepy cues or signals that he is ready for a nap.

#3: Help your baby be ready for sleep by having a short pre-nap routine. This will help them wind down and relax before falling asleep.

#4: Help their body get used to sleeping through more than one sleep cycle by encouraging them to fall asleep if they wake up too early. For babies, this can be done by implementing a crib hour – in other words, deciding that nap time will not end until an hour has gone by from the time they were laid in bed. For toddlers and pre-schoolers, we want that crib hour to be more like 90 minutes.

The one who naps all day:

While this may not seem to be a problem at first (I mean who does not want to see their baby take a 3 hour nap?), but a child who takes a nap that’s too long will threaten the quality and length of the next sleep period. For example, if a baby take s a 3-hour nap in the morning, that will delay the afternoon nap, which will not only make it shorter and less restorative but also push bedtime to a later time.

Therefore it is imperative that naps be of appropriate length: around 1 hour on a 3 nap schedule, around 1.5 hours for a 2 nap schedule and around 2 hours for a 1 nap schedule. If it seems like the naps are lasting a lot longer than that, you might want to consider waking them up at the desired time, especially if you need to protect the next sleep period.

The one who naps at the wrong time of the day:

You may not think so but an ill-timed nap has the power to ruin an entire day, AND a whole night of sleep. Now I know I’m bestowing a lot of power onto a harmless nap but as we have seen in the case of the cat-napper, a baby not sleeping at the right time will have a hard time falling and staying asleep. This is due to the hormone balance needed for good sleep. A baby that does not fall asleep will trick his or her body into a second wind of energy through the production or cortisol and adrenalin, which will prevent him or her from easily falling asleep and will make his sleep shorter.

That is why it is important to take the lead from your child and listen to his or her sleep needs. When you notice that his or her activity level has slowed down and that the gaze is becoming distant, put him or her down for a nap. If your baby is ready for nap, that nap will surely be longer and more restorative. As a general rule, children under 18 months of age should take a morning nap and an afternoon nap. Once we drop to one nap, you should do you best to transition your child to only taking the afternoon nap as this one is more physically restorative and can help their bodies get the rest they need.

The one who doesn’t have enough naps:

Nap needs are developmentally pre-determined. And as they grow older, children may experience sleep regressions through which they may have nap strikes. Unfortunately, most parents take those nap strikes as signs that their children are ready to drop the naps they are resisting. However, if you allow your children to transition to fewer naps than they are developmentally ready to, then they are likely to become sleep deprived.

Most babies between 4 and 8 months will take 3 naps a day, those until the age of 18 months will need 2 naps, and kids up to the age of 5 years can benefit from 1 nap a day. Sticking to this schedule allows them to strike a balance between the time they spend awake and the time they spend sleeping in a 24-hour period, thereby preventing them from building a sleep debt.

The one who refuses Naps:

I have met families whose kids never napped. Or some who dropped the nap at the very young age of 15 or 18 months. Unfortunately this makes for a chronically over-tired child and more likely than not, that child is waking up at night, multiple times. In this case, you have a few options:

#1: Don’t make naps optional! I guarantee you that if you ask any child if he or she would like to nap, their answer will be no. Instead, work on making naps part of the routine. Just like we have lunch and play time every day, we also take a nap every day.

#2: If your child is particularly resistant to the word “nap” do not refer to the afternoon sleep time using that word. Instead, call it “rest time” or “close your eyes time” or “dream time”! Your child will most likely fall asleep if he or she is not mentally resisting it.

#3: As your child gets older and less reliant on a nap, she can still benefit from quiet time. Set aside an hour during their day and designate a specific spot with activities that are specific to that time. These activities can include reading, puzzles or anything that does not require them to exert physical activity.

So for now, we will hold onto my son’s naps, cap them to 30 minutes and try to get him to a decent bedtime. He is set to start school in the fall, which will force us to drop the nap for real. We will reconsider then and see what works best for him.

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